I got herpes recently from my husband. should i hang on to this marriage? I have 2 young children...?

Question

I got herpes recently from my husband. should i hang on to this marriage? I have 2 young children...?

Answer 1

Waiting until your kids are older is more traumatic for them, not less.  They'll learn that your strained relationship with your husband is the normal, correct way to behave in a relationship.  Don't stay unless you're willing to truly work it out with him.  Otherwise, leave now and raise your kids with an example of a healthy adult relationship (whether it's with someone new or just being civil to your ex).

Answer 2

why leave now? you're already diseased... NO CURE for heebe geebies

Answer 3

Absolutely not!  Show your children what a strong woman does!  Set an example of what is acceptable in a relationship and marriage and what is not.  Your kids will respect you and thank you later!

Answer 4

no, i would not hang around because there's no telling what's next!

Answer 5

perhaps choose to work it out until your kids are about 18 and can handle a divorce.

Answer 6

Did you find out that he is cheating on you? I know that that sounds like a stupid question but hear me out. I am a medical assistant and up until recently I worked in a women's health clinic and we dealt with std's everyday. I do know that either one of you could have contracted the herpes virus years ago and it is just coming out now. The virus sits dormant in the spine and can take days or years to cause a break out.

If he has admitted to cheating on you then yes, I would leave him but if he is insisting that he didn't there is a chance that he is telling the truth. Has he has any breakouts? You should go to your doctor and have him explain it to you in further detail if you think there is any chance that he has been faithful. (like I said if he is denying it). I know this is a hard confusing situation and I wish you good luck with whatever decision you make.

Answer 7

I am very sorry to hear this. It must be extremely hard for you with two children.  However, you have to put your health first.  You are no good to your children if you become sick and incapacitated.  Think about that, you should now place your children right next to your health - second.

How could he be so irresponsible?  Have you asked him that question?  What does he have to say for himself?  I am always one to work out the differences in a marriage but cheating and bringing home a disease is another matter.  Has he infected you?  If he has, or if you are not sure, you need to seek medical attention immediately.  In my source, I have included some information about natural remedies for genital herpes.

If you have a job and are self-supporting, you will probably be in a better position to deal with your immediate future.  You need to seek counseling about your health and your marriage.  Also, you will need to get the children help as well but that will depend on their ages - the younger the better for them.

Answer 8

Were you aware he had them?  Sorry to hear that ... You're married, hang for as long as you can, how does he feel about it?  I guess that all depends on how it effected you both.

Answer 9

Do you think you should hang on to this unfaithful marriage?  You going to suffer for the rest of your life.  

Answer 10

Whether or not you have children is not a reason to hang on to your marriage. Your children are your children and your marriage is your marriage. They are two separate identities. Obviously, we all hope they mesh forever, but don't ever use one as an excuse for doing something with the other. That's wrong. If  your husband had herpes before you got married and didn't know, then, maybe you can discuss things in order to figure out how you want to handle this. If your husband got herpes after you got married, run like h**l and take your kids with you.  

Answer 11

NO. What if he brings home the HIV virus next??? He risked your life and you want to stay with him? I realize you have kids, but he has already left the marriage by cheating on you, so he doesn't sound too committed to you or your kids.  

Answer 12

http://www.herpesdoctor.com/node/723

I've heard about herpes laying dormant in people, their partner contracting it and blaming cheating.

The website i provided a link for is one that might help figure out maybe if it was dormant or he really is cheating.

I think the dormant thing is a long shot, but hey if he's innocent.

Do you what you feel is right....don't stick around for the kids because they will know the relationship is failing anyway.  

Answer 13

Where did he get it? Are you implying he cheated or are we supposed to guess?

I'd suggest you both go to counseling for your marriage, and see your doctor about how to handle the herpes (it is incurable). Whether you stay or not us up to you, and what is going on in your marriage that may cause you to feel like it's time to go. You didn't give enough info other than having herpes...and leaving him won't cure your herpes but only you can decide if there are things that can and should be worked out between you (or the attempt made) or if it's time to move on.

Of course the children should be considered also, but if their parents aren't happy together and life at home is tense (or worse) then staying together wouldn't benefit them.

Answer 14

Leave him before you get another STD from him, something that could be deadly. You need to be healthy to raise your children.

Answer 15

The reason God invented AIDS is because mankind did not pay attention to herpes.

Seriously, you need to consider whether or not the potential risk to you and your family is worth hanging on to this self-centered lowlife who has no respect for his wedding vows or honor and respect for his family and would risk it all for a roll in the hay with some chippy that gives him a sexually transmitted disease.

Wake up and smell the to odor of burning coffee.

Answer 16

In short... h**l NO... If he contracted herpes and gave it to you, then he already violated the trust of the marriage....  

Answer 17

Why should you want to stay with someone who don't give a dam about you,if he did there's no way in h**l he would be so dumb.

Answer 18

? till death do you part? Did you have marriage vows?Or is your question really, your husband just cheated on you, you know so, should you leave him, the answer, when you are honest with yourself with the question, can only be answered by you.

Answer 19

Heck no!

Answer 20

Hi Wander...I can honestly say "I understand what you're going through".  My husband cheated on me last April, got infected w/ herpes and then gave it to me. We have been happily married for 8 years and have 4 young sons. First time he ever cheated on me and it bit him in the a-- in a major way. he told me about the one niter 3 days after it happened. Guilt ridden and miserable. A week after that my symptoms started to appear. and boy did they appear. I never felt so sick in my life, and the pain. I thought I was going to die and he wished he could. I couldn't even think about what I was going to do for about 3 weeks until my outbreak healed. For 3 weeks my hubby was in limbo, not knowing what I had decided.  According to all of these people who have answered your question, I am a fool because I have decided to work it out. Years of love, children, family are so important and fragile to be throwing away. He regrets his moment of weakness and the good Lord probably gave us this disease to make sure he never becomes weak again. I won't lie to you,it was hard to come to this decision and the idea of trying to find someone who will except me with a STD ( even though I am a good, clean girl) and 4 children has crossed my mind. When it comes right down to it, I love him and I know he loves me. He's never denied that, just was stupid. Don't let these other people who have never been in this situation tell you to leave like it is easy. Only you know what kind of marriage you are in and if it is time to go.  Everone is entitled to 1 mistake but don't let him continue to make the same mistake twice. If your man is a repeat cheater, you know what you need to do. Good luck and email me if you'd like to [e-mail]

Answer 21

so because you have a family its okay to cheat?? and get away with it... hmm nooo its not get rid of him so you can find a man who respects the sanctity of marriage.

Answer 22

NO-he's already "shared a disease with you that there is no cure for-next time it could be AIDS!!!

Answer 23

Are you F-ING kidding??!!!! no absolutely not, your kids Will be find with the parents living apart, it will be bad, because arguments and fights are inevidible  why stay..unless if your using hte kids to hang on to the relationship.....

Now you can't find someone else because of him, i'm sorry, but no guy is going to want you with herpes...would you want to have s*x with a guy with herspes

Answer 24

You are married ? Now this is a DUMB question! LEAVE!

Answer 25

sorry this is tough, do you have a councellor