I had 2 ivf's the first one failed at 4 and a half months it was twins and the second did not work what should

Question

i think im going crazy i cant seem to forget the twins i lost i dont want to forget them its just that it hurts so much we've been trying to concieve for 5 years and now this

Answer 1

I am so sorry for your loss . . . .

I recommend that you contact your fertility clinic and look into alternative therapies - things like support groups for women going through fertility treatments, acupuncture, talk therapy, etc . . . They should be able to refer you to someone that can help.

When I was going through IVF and treatments, I joined a women's 10 week Mind / Body Support Group.  We met once a week with a licensed therapist.  We went through what we were feeling, learned about meditation, yoga and better ways to handle the stress.  It was also great for me to be in a room with 8 - 12 other women who knew exactly how I was feeling and what I was going through.  We even had a couple sessions for our partners and one day of couple therapy.

It is completely normal to feel down and even depressed - how could you not?  Fertility treatments and loss are painful.  Get help - real life help . . .

I am not sure if my husband and I would have made it through without the class and a few therapy sessions . . . it also put us in a much better place emotionally for our IVF cycle.

Best wishes!

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss and struggles. TTC takes such a toll on a both people in a relationship. My suggestion is that you and your hubby take a vacation from TTC for about three months. Just enjoy being with each other. Then after that time you both should evaluate what you want to do next. Maybe you will try ivf one more time, maybe you will try adoption or maybe you will decide that although you will always long for a child you no longer wish to subject yourself to the emotional roller coaster. I know that this hurts and I wish that I had a magic word that would make you feel better or give you hope. Now is the time when you should be leaning on your husband. He will probably lean right back on you  and you both can help each other through this difficult time.  

Answer 3

do you know what the problem is? is it low sperm count or endometreitis or something? we also had problems conceiving and bought a home artificial insemination kit. my partners sperm count was low and we did this and used the syringe with his sperm and air to push the sperm far into my v****a, left the syringe in place so the sperm wouldnt go the other way and obviously one found its way up through my cervix to the egg.  the kit only cost me £12 from www.insemination-help.com and we have a 9mth old daughter.

it is really hard i know, we have been trying again for the past 8 months and had an early miscarriage last month.  its heartbreaking but you just have to keep trying and it will happen.  u dont have to forget your twins just learn to cope with it.

i agree with the above answer, have a break of 3 months first and just chill out and enjoy the summer.  go camping on the weekends, go for long drives together, have fun and look at what is great in your life.  

i sincerely wish you all the best.