I had a miscarriage and my boyfriend broke off the engagement because i didn't want a funeral was i wrong?

Question

Our son just passed away on the 2nd of July and I have been suffering from depression and after my son past I didn't want to have a funeral and doctors thought that was for the best but my boyfriend is calling of the wedding cause he thinks that was irresponsible of me but he all the way in Washington and couldn't have made it so was I wrong for what I decided?

Answer 1

We had a funeral for my son that I miscarried in 2001.  At the end of the graveside service we released a single white balloon in the air to signify his spirit being free.  

Funerals for miscarried babies are not commonplace, but I was adamant and no one was changing my mind, however my boyfriend convinced me that I shouldn't see my son before he was put in the casket, i regret it to this day.

Calling off the wedding is a very insensitive and horrid thing for your boyfriend to do to you in this time.  His grief may be causing him to act differently then he normally would.  Give him time and keep the lines of communication open.  Tell him how you feel, and let him know that if he wants to do something to signify the passing of his child, he was his as well, that you would be there for him.

Answer 2

i am sorry to hear that no hes wrong it is better if it was a baby if u have a furnerl it would make it sooo hard for ya!!

Answer 3

You did fine.  Sadly, your boyfriend was looking for any excuse to call off the wedding.  Your miscarriage just gave him a reason.

Answer 4

no i dont thinks it wrong.. all people deal with death differently... its not like you dont care about your baby. Its just you dont want to goo through any more pain its totally understandable... butt if you do want to save your marraige then maybe you could tell your fiance that he could go ahead and have a funeral you would just rather not be present because it would be too painful.

Answer 5

I have never heard of a funeral for a miscarried baby. Maybe for a stillborn but never a miscarriage. You were not wrong in your decision because it is not your fault. If your fiance wants to call off the wedding then so be it, but it would be his loss because you did absolutely nothing wrong here. My prayers are with you and good luck. Try explaining to your fiance that funerals do not happen for miscarried babies and that it would just make you feel worse than you already do. Tell him that you want to move on and try for another baby. Good luck honey!!!

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

It's not wrong for you to decide but I believe that perhaps your bf (fiance) has already form attachments to your son although he's away in Washington. He would feel upset too and being a man, might not be expressive about it. Perhaps by having the funeral, it might be some form of closure

He might not understand your feelings and reasons behind it either.. but give it some time. You're both in the healing process. Talk to each other and perhaps, this will bring both of you much closer.

Answer 7

I don't think so. That's a very personal decision.

Answer 8

im sorry for your loss, i dont know if i would have had a funeral either, he needs to think about your feelings not just his own