I had quadruplets and my five year old is very jealous and likes to be mean to the babies, what should I do?

Question

I had quadruplet girls and my older daughter who is five has been very jealous since they were born. She often likes to pinch them and do other mean things to them any chance she gets. She often tells me that she hates them and wishes I didn't have them. She's developed a very bad temper since I had the babies and always seems to be in a bad fussy mood and will do anything to draw attention to herself, even purposely breaking nice things in the house. What should I do to help her and get her like the babies?

Answer 1

How possible is it teahc her to hold and feed one or paly with it with out hurting one? Make a game out of it "just you and her"

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Answer 2

Do some "big kid" things with her, take her to the playground, just you and her or someting and say "I'm so glad I have a big girl that I can do big girl things like this with." and don't forget to give her an extra squeeze once in a while. Just keep reminding her what a big girl she is, and make sure you give her attention for the positive things she does, no matter how stressed out you get because of the babies.

Answer 3

She just wants some alone time with her parents.  If you can find someone to babysit...even for a couple of hours...while you have a special day with her, she'll see that the babies arent out to take your attention away from her.  And she'll start to come around.  

Answer 4

She needs attention in a good way. Her acting out is due to what psychologists call negative reinforcement on your behalf. If she is basically ignored through most of the day except for when you ask her to do something or feed and dress her, and then you give her attention when she does something bad, then you are reinforcing her negative behavior. Kids would rather you yell at them or spank them, than ignore them. You must find a way to make her feel special everyday. Its not her fault you had  4 babies at once. Don't make her the one who has to make your life easier. It will be all too easy as she gets older to say can you do this, or please just don't make mommy's life any harder. Don't take her for granted.

Answer 5

She just needs some attention of her own....is their a grandma that can take her out for some fun?  something that shows she is still special.  or if dad could handle the babies while you and her go the movies or park together.    

Answer 6

you really need to spend time with your older child one-on-one. make her feel special and she;ll be okay to let the younger ones feel special too.

Also, help her understand that there is no place for jealousy in your household, especially among family members (siblings).