I hate her so much, what should I do?

Question

My mother is a bi*ch, that's really all there is to it. I'm 17 years old and she never lets me hang out with my friends, ever. She acts as though in order to have fun with my friends, I have to 'earn' it. By that I mean doing all my chores without fail. That wouldn't be a problem if the same rule applied to my brother, which it doesn't, and when I point it out, she tells me not to worry about it. Whenever she says I can't go out, she tells me not to ask why and I feel as though she's just saying 'no' because she can. I wasn't allowed out all of last week but this Wednesday I was and then I asked for today and she said 'no, think about why not' as if I'd done something wrong, which I hadn't. She doesn't acknowledge when I do something right, but is on my back forever if I do something wrong. I hate it because my friends are all asking me to hang out and I have to deny and it's the summer and if I'm not doing homework, I'm cleaning (chores), and if I'm not cleaning, I'm not doing anything. I want to get out and not hear my mother calling my name from every room in the house for a day. I feel trapped like I'm in a cage looking out from the inside. She treats me unfairly and lets my brother go out even though he doesn't do his chores regularly as I do. She never lets me explain myself and is constantly hanging up on me (on the phone). I just don't think it's fair to have to 'earn' having fun. What should I do?

Answer 1

The reason you  have to 'earn' having fun is because she's showing you what the world is really like! You have to work at a job to get money, right? Tell her that you can't 'just think about' what you did wrong, cause you don't remember! The thing with your brother though, depending on his age, tell her that you feel she is favoring him! You have to tell her your thoughts, or she won't know what's wrong. If you can't think of anything to do, try thinking of a hobby that you can keep yourself busy with!

Answer 2

How can you be so mad and hate your mom. Thats not great at all. She's the one who gave birth to you and yours other family members, she's the one who gave you food, life, etc. Being a mother is not easy at all, they go through all that **** while there little children complaining how worthless they are.

You lucky, very lucky that you have a mother living with you. Anyways. You have to explain this to your mother. Don't fight with her, give her some respect.

Answer 3

my mother is a bit  ch too! honestly i cant give yo any advice because my mother and i get into slep fights and i just leave the house! i dont want to recomend that to yuo im 13 and i get into trouble alot but if i get away from my mother its all worth it! i honestly understand where ur coming from just know that alll u need to do is sit her down and say mom i need to tell u something andsay mom i want to go hang out with my friends i am 17 years old you always let my brother go out he dosent dop his chores i do and you never let me go out. either you let me go out or ill stop listening to you all together and do whatever i want and then say any questions thats what i did with my ***** *** mother!

Answer 4

FInd a job, and when you're 18 go to the dorms.

One year of working would last you 1 year in college.

I'm mad at my parents too!

So that's what I plan on doing.

And start treating her the same way.

Answer 5

stop, take a deep breath, and imagine yourself 20 years from now wishing that someone was there to pay your bills and put food in your mouth everyday...

Answer 6

Every parent with more then one child treats each child differently.  This could be the difference in your age or maturaty level.  Or it could be something in herself.  

However I suspect you are angry because of something that happened and you just want someone to say I agree she is a *****.  

I am a mother of a 17 year old and I know the challenges.  Someday you will have kids of your own and then you will understand....

Answer 7

If you cry about it enough, the problem will go away.

And earning the privilege to have fun is something you're going to have to come to terms with.

Don't be so immature and whiny.

Answer 8

Mom made you both but how her life went when she was young she does not want for you.  She has been there and done anything you can think of.  You did not state your age or if your brother is older?

Maybe your children will HATE you in return.

Answer 9

well sorry

and talk to ur mom and say i want to hang out with my friends i dont want to earn it well somtimes but not always and maybe that wil work

Answer 10

Just wait till you are 18 and then you can go on your merry way.

Answer 11

Is there anyway that you can talk to her and explain how you feel..and tell her not to say nething until you are done? I know that will be probably really hard..because she just seems like she has closed out all doors emotionally on you. There is something deeper than you 'earning' your freedom. You should when you are 17 anyway..but not like what she is doing. You never mentioned how old your brother was..but obviously there isnt a problem with him like there is with you..so i would def try to do something about it..you cant really control what she does..but you can def just try to talk to her and explain how you feel. There is nothing wrong with trying to communicate, no matter how much you dislike her. Do you explain to your friends what is really going on? If you do they should understand..Instead of her pushing you away by saying 'think about why' tell her no and to explain WHY exactly from her side so you can see it from her point of view. Then come to an agreement on how you would like to handle the situation further.

Good luck.

Answer 12

Wow I am so sorry for you.  Is there a way to sneak out and tell her your just at your friends house?  Maybe try and talk to her.  

Answer 13

luckily you are 17.  that means you could work and earn money.  you could get a job.  when you are 18 you can move out, and you don't have to stay with your mom.  get prepared for that.  since you don't like how she treats you, get prepared to leave and make it on your own.  my guess is that your mom doesn't trust you, that she doesn't know exactly what you'll be doing with your friends and she's worried it might be dangerous, drugs or s*x etc.  which is really common things some 17 year olds do.  just remember, you have no 'right' to fun.  even grown ups have to 'earn' their fun.  when you are stuck at home, try to make it productive.  take online classes or learn something else.  don't just waste your time.  make it count to improve yourself...learn something or take up a craft like knitting or footbag or dancing.  you are in control of your life even if your mom restricts you.  make the most of the life you have.

also this is good practice for life because it will NEVER be fair, from college to jobs to marriage to children to everything you will ever run into will never be fair.  

Answer 14

First of all dont call your mom a ******! You sound like a rebellious kid... your mom is actually trying to keep you out of trouble and you want your own way. You may not see what she is doing now but you will understand when you're all grown up. I used to think my mother was strict too ..giving me chores ..and not my brother. also not wanting me to go anywahere  but church. But now i'm a mom and i understand.

Trust me you will get over it ; aat least u get to out out once in a while ...say thank God... just focus on your schoolwork now.

Answer 15

Hate is a very strong word my dear. 15, 16, & 17 are rough years for mother and daughters especially if there is a brother in the picture.

One thing you need to know right off the back, is that your mother is not trying to punish you by having you complete your chores, she is trying to install what kids these days seem to lack and that is home training. Maybe she has higher hopes for you, granted it is not fair that he does get to go without owning up to his chores, but maybe your Mom comes from a home where old morales stood in place where the female tends to house duties and the men play. Here is the thing kid, Does your Mom work? Does she get summer vacations? Has she bought you things through out your 17 years with  the money she makes? If you answered yes to ANY of these you should want to help around the house not because you are told or assigned to do them, but because chores are your way of saying Thanks Mom, for my new shoes, ipod, Mp3 player, prom dress, hair dye, make-up gotta have outfit.manicure or pedicure.

If you are getting paid for your chores..Girl you are blessed and need to get your butt of the computer whinning and get your dammed chores done,.LOL not many kids are getting paid..Good luck, Know that I hated my mothers ways, not my mother and now I couldn't imagine life without her.Good luck, get er done, and soon you will be paying your own bills and God willing be blessed with kids to assign duties to.

Answer 16

For now you should try to do everything correctly.  I suspect that you are going overboard but perhaps not.  For the future you should make plans to be independent, pay your own way etc so you can be on your own when you graduate high school.  You might find being on your own is more difficult that you expect and doing some chores and making your mother happy is a small price to pay.

Another approach would be to open a direct communication about those things that really bother you, perhaps that would tell you what is going on.

Answer 17

That's unfair. Wait until you're 18 and then you don't have to suffer like that anymore. When I was a teenager, my mother used to make me polish down the house and I hated it! I had to do it almost everyday and eventually my friends abandonned me by saying they forgot to call me outside to play. I was absoloutely depressed.

This is the exact reason why parents always wonder why teenagers rebel. It's because teens are at that age when they're becoming themselves and aren't always going to Mommy's splitting image. If you want freedom, you need to fight for it. Clean your house and then leave and hang out with your friends. Look for every reason why she'll not let you have fun, and you do it. Eventually, she's have to let you go. I know it sounds tiring, but hey, that's life.  

Answer 18

fix her some kind of beverage, and slip 2 tylenol pms into it... out like a light.

Answer 19

she can be jealous of you bcoz of your father or something' , those mothers are ill and full of issues within themselves, you gotta get out, learn a world and make your life the way you like it.

then when you are 25 or something, you will look back and maybe forgive her, because she had an obiousely hard life to become what she is

Answer 20

I think you should Talk to an adult you can trust, alert them about this, or maybe get a relative or friends parent to act as a third party, you don;t mention your father so i presume he isnt present in your life.

I know its really unfair the way she lets your brother away with anything but shes obviously having trouble coping woth a problem of her own and taking it out on you. did you use to have a good relationship? what happened since if so?

maybe write her a letter and leave it on her bed explaining exaclty why you are concerned. good luck. remember samaritans are here to help you can call them 08457 90 90 90 from the UK or childline on 1800 66 66 66.  

Answer 21

I know exactly what you are saying.  when I was that age, I wasn't a loud out and if I was I had to be in by 8:30 and in bed by 9-summer I had to be in by 10-I hated my mom so much I didnt know what to do either...The only thing that you can do is try to sit down with her and have a talk.  make certian days of going out and doing chores. Have her make a list of everything that is expected of you. ( I know that it sounds lame-but it does work) And don't compare yourself to your brother--that only makes things worse and in the future.  was your mom young when she had you?  My mom was and that is why she was so strict with me, she was 16.  All I can say is that you dont have that far off untill you are out of the house and on your own. and you will need her trust me.  I am 33 now and my mom is my best friend..And thinking back-yes I would have liked to of had more freedom...but in the end....I wouldnt know what to do with out her now.  

Answer 22

just do your chores and then she'll have no reason to keep you in the house.  have a family night and watch a movie on the couch together so that you could say, I've done my chores and we've spent time together.  then she will have NO reason to keep you in the house.  just don't talk back or it could turn ugly.

good luck.

Answer 23

shes just power hungry, like you said, she says no, because she can! Either move out, if your not under her roof, youre not under her rules, i did it when I was 16 and my mother and I get on fine, we can speak civilly to one another and even share a joke here and there, either that or tell her youre moving out if she doesnt loosen up, give her an ultimatum

Answer 24

Wow, I am so sorry. I wonder why she has so much animosity toward you? That is strange. Ok, you are 17, which means that technically in a year, you can move out and be done with your Mom. Is this what she wants? I doubt it. You have to have a heart to heart with your Mom and tell her exactly how you feel. Try you best to sit her down and explain that in a year you WILL be leaving and that her treatment of you is nothing short of cruel. Ask her if she would like to be treated and singled out like that. Explain that you need your freedom and are practically an adult and you would like her to treat you like one. You could at 18 just turn your back on your Mom and not look back. Turn it around on her. What's the worst that could happen? I am so sorry that your Mom is like that. She is way too overbearing with you and kind of lax with your brother. There has to be underlying issues that she has with you. Just try and talk and see where that gets you. Never give up hope. Be strong and never show that you are weak. I wish you great luck.....

Answer 25

just  tell here

Answer 26

where you from?