I hate him, and getting divorced but still want to.....?

Question

Im in the midst of a divorce.I hate my ex husband for what he has done to me..(deserted me on his mother's say so, when there was nothing wrong between the two of us) But everytime I see him (in court) something within me flickers and i hope against all hope that he sees reason and sense prevails on him. I know i will never get back with him and i dont even want to, coz if he can leave me at his mothers instructions once, he can do it again. Whats bothering me is the fact that knowing that i hate him and will never forgive him for what he has done, why do i want him to see sense?

Answer 1

Love and hate are extremely strong emotions. On a certain level, they are almost identical and easy to confuse. When the "thrill is gone" nothing can bring it back. You may still have a relationship of some sort but it will never be the same as it used to be. Take it for what it is - not for what you wish it could be. That's life. Be happy.  

Answer 2

You are better off without him.  Shame on him, his mothers opinion is worth more then you.  When you say your vows, your spouse comes before all.  That includes your mother.  He is to much of a mammas boy, not a man

Linda

Answer 3

there was a time the two of you were in love and there must have been some good times. you also probably want him to see that his mother was wrong about you.

good luck.

Answer 4

Have you never heard that there is a fine line between hate and love???  You can only hate someone who you have strong feelings for in the first place.  Feeling completely indifferent toward a person is truly the opposite of love.  Right now you are hurt and although your head tells you that you hate him, your heart still feels for him and this is normal.  We can't turn our emotions on and off that quickly.  This is someone who you loved for a long time and thought that you would be married to forever, so obviously at some point you did love him.  Your hope that things will change will die in time, but if he does come to his senses and wants another chance I think you should try again but very slowly and cautiously.  If he doesn't, you will someday meet a man who has a backbone!  Good luck!

Answer 5

b/c his mother is manipulating him. he probably knows what his mother is doing is wrong. but a man who loves his mother dearly will never go against her. if he keeps that up his mother will ruin his life and relationships.

Answer 6

love is blind but let the mind lead the way when it comes to matters of the heart

Answer 7

Because if he "came to his senses" it would confirm that you are a good and lovable and worthwhile person.  You are, of course, but turds may not see that.

Answer 8

because a small part of you will always love him no matter what but you will be better off without him good luck

Answer 9

Try to forget the offense.  He has placed his mother ahead of you.  And, yes, that is wrong.  The jerk.

It will not be easy and he may never see the sense of it.  I have seen too many women and men carry all sorts of reasons for the divorce into their lives and into their future relationships and it is of no use at all.  Sigh and forget -- if you can.

Answer 10

i felt like that when my sons father & I split up 9 yrs ago. He was just so good looking & when he was good he was really good. I alway had a twinge & the though was always there maybe he is sorry for the things he did & will change. He never did (physical abuse even when I was pregnant cheating lying stealing selling my stuff for drug $). He went to jail & I left the state before he could get out just so I wouldn't see him. All he would have had to do was look at me & say come here & I would have been back with him. I don't know how I managed to get like that, but 9 years later I am over it. I think it is just the fact that they don't want us that makes us crave afirmation that we are worth something.