I hate my dad?

Question

Hi, Im leah and im 14. im on my elder sisters account here.

I hate my dad,

He favours my elder brother SO much. Sometimes when he comes home from work or comes up to say goodnight he will come upstairs, talk to my brother who is in his room, then go back downstairs. He says he doesnt do it intentionally, and he probably doesnt, but it means im not on his mind, at all.

Sometimes he gets really nasty to me, im overweight and its about all he talks to me about when i dont want to talk about it!

Stuff like the following happens at LEAST 3 times a day. [days when im only home after school!]

Me: Walks down stairs, sees mum in kitchen, sits where she "usually" sits. Its a good spot!

Mum; Walks to the couch and like jumps in behind me like hehe! nice try! then says "move."

Me: I was here first?

Dad: Oh my god Leah, the rubbish you always go in with "You were here first? Are you serious? **** Leah. blah blah".

but he says it in a really nasty voice and pulls terrible faces.

Help!

Answer 1

I would suggest individual and family counseling. If you didn't care about him it wouldn't hurt so much, (your anger is actually a covering for hurt and resentment) and you wouldn't be seeking advice.

The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy (not caring). So, to prevent it from getting to that point, I suggest getting in with a good neutral third party--a family therapist, to help you express yourself in a safe way, where you will not be minimized.

Answer 2

talk to your parents about it :)

Answer 3

Sometime a parent will favour one child over another for no reasonable reason other than freedom of choice.  Maybe he just likes (relates to) boys better.  

Parents have done this since parents have made children.  

While its not fair there is absolute nothing you can do to change your father.   I should mention that in multiple children homes, one child can also favour one of his sibling over the others.  



At the same time are you not creating some of your own problems?

If you know mum has a favourite spot why take it.  One day in the future you can set up house and have you own special spot but at the moment its their place so respecting small things like a favourite spot surly cant be asking a lot?     Have you considered the possibility that you maybe doing this intentionally seeking some sort of contact and communication with your parents?

Answer 4

be happy you have a dad!!

Answer 5

Hate to tell you this but your dad doesn't love you, prob because you're adopted.

Answer 6

hah...my dad is EXACTLY the same, but i only see him with visitation and its the most annoying thing to deal with. i think you should tell them that it really pisses you off, and makes you feel bad, and if they dont listen, then be a ***** back to him. ruin his ego like he ruins yours. and act like you dont care. it'll make him feel as bad as he makes you feel.

Answer 7

ur dad isa f****n idiot

Answer 8

hi leah im now 26 and have been in a very simalar situation when i was younger but my dad used to get physically abusive with me (not so much my younger borthers) and i always said i hated him and wished he would die...... well one day he did and it made me feel like i had wished for it so much it came true i was 17 when he died and it has eaten away at me for so long now i know at 14 talking to your parents is hard but have you tried writing him a letter/email/sms to tell him how your feeling or even your mum as putting things in words is sometimes easier on paper than face to face he has no right to be nasty to you but some people dont know how to show there true feelings especially father/daughter as of all the "abuse" claims these days it makes it harder but deep down you probebly dont hate your dad you hate what he does and how he makes you feel and this doesnt make you a bad person it makes you human just remember you might grow and up have kids one day and you will no what Not to do with your own kids sometimes parents treat there kids how they were treated and it may not be right but it can be all they know...hang in there and for the piece sake if your mum wants the chair give it to her sometimes its just easier to avoid a fight than deal with the hurt you feel when mean stuff is said i really hope this helps and that no matter what your parents do love you.....they just might not show it

Answer 9

"Oh my god Leah, the bloody rubbish you always go in with "My daddy hates me, he doesn't love me, I don't exsist thru his eyes? Are you serious? **** Leah. blah blah"

(said with a scrunched up ugly face and raspy deep voice)

Answer 10

This only seems like a no big deal but from my personal experience these kind of remarks from someone you love and respect can tear you and at times you just feel like you want to run away.

If you really have someone whom you are really close to lets say like  a school counsellor or some of these community organisations .You should speak to someone about this because this kind of stuff can  decrease your self esteem and you can even sometimes feel unloved.It seems like your dad does not value or respect you his child .

gd luck :-)

Answer 11

hey don't worry

i have a similar situation my grandma and my auntie do that. i just don't talk to them they me call me fat and stuff and i should go to gym so don't worry about it.

and talk to your mum thats what i do!

Answer 12

me too

Answer 13

well, i understand it, but when he does that, you just think that it could be worse.or don't pay attention to him.or stop acting like he's not your father.

Answer 14

im sorry about your situation...

first increse your self esteem and confidence....

be proud of you you are....

he is still your father...

you know its better to ignore him... sometimes when people think they don't get the same attention to a person..they would seek ways on how to get your attention...sometime then they would realize what cause your lack of attention to them...or

show them what you got...be better..compete in a good way with your brother when it comes to school or other things...or

just be the person you are...speak up...in a good way of course...

Answer 15

I'm sorry, I would love to help you but I don't know what to tell you. . . You can pull through it though, this will only make you stronger in the long run.