I hate my ex my boyfiend with a passion for all that he has done to me, i can not forgive, show mw how??

Question

me and my ex have been going back and forth for about 3 years, it took alot of more pain and hurt for me to realize that we could never be and for me to deal with it, and slowly but surely move on, he was not my first but he was my first love, this men had me so gone that i forgot who i was as a person to the piont where my freinds and family would say things like, what did he do to you, he did not do nothing but hurt me and i was in love, i loved him whole heartley, but he kept on hurting me, i all ways been the type of female with a back bone but this man broke me down,i tried leaving him but i got stuck in this depressing mode where all i would do was sleep and cry, he had the power to just come back and in my life when he wanted to, and me being foolish i would accept him, Well last year i had enough, i saw him and i just blacked out, all that i was feeling i just went crazy on him, he was shocked,but he came to his sences, so from that point on, we just had enough, so it has been 5mths and he ups and calls me

he says he trying to change for the better, and that he wants to get to know the lord, forgive me because i laughed when he said that, but i have no faith in this man, and my heart will not allow me to forgive, and he came to my house asking me to get everything off my chest so that i can not be so angry and be easyto forgive him, i hate this guy with a passion,but still i may still love him, i am just emotionial'

what should i do?? please help me

Answer 1

You need to forgive him for the pain that he has caused, regardless of whether he apologizes or not. Release him so that you may be released. You cannot hold him down in unforgiveness and expect not to be in bondage. Ask the Lord Jesus to reveal the truth to you, for it is within Him your faith should lie. There may be hope for reconciliation. Remember, God can fix what we are unable or unwilling to repair; trust in Him.

Answer 2

Look him in the eyes and say for as long as I shall live I will never forget the pain you have caused me.  But I am a bigger and better person because of this pain and in order for the next person that is even better then you to come a long and love me and for me to love him in return... I FORGIVE YOU I wish you luck in your soul searching and I hope you never have to experience the pain I went through, now since I have given you the forgiveness you seek get out of my life so it can be complete and whole again.  And when he walks out the door let go of him and the pain.  As time goes by and you see him months down the road, smile at him say hello even if you are not over him make him think that you are.  Giving another human being the gratification of hurting you is too much.  Never let a man have control of you like that.  Good luck!

Answer 3

Well i think you have to accept the fact that as much as he hurt you... you allowed him to hurt you. it is as much your fault as it is his. I know that sounds crule but its the reality.

You can forgive him for hurting you but that dosent mean you have to be with him. Forgive him and let the past go... but dont take him back into your life.  

Answer 4

Well if you can't forgive you just have to move on.  He's done enough to blight your life without him having the opportunity to ruin it forever more, so move on and forget about him or he's won!  You'll find someone more suitable - someone who is willing to show you kindness and respect and that's where your energies should be.

Answer 5

Think about it, darling.  With all that energy going into hating this man, you have far less energy left for healing.  And you do need to heal.  Sadly, the bit about getting to know the Lord is merely a ploy. He's a master manipulator, and he's doing his damnedest to work that evil on you.  

Let him go. Busy yourself with other activities, such as volunteering at church, at the local YWCA, with the local Girl Scouts, the local battered womens' shelter - h**l, even the local animal rescue agency (SPCA or ASPCA), walking the dogs, socializing the cats, cleaning the kennels is better than brooding about that stinking creep!

Take a full year - yes, a year. The trauma you're struggling to overcome is as severe as losing a long-beloved parent or sibling.  It's very much like mourning, and it HURTS!  You've got to give it time for the raw edges to wear off.  And then - and then you'll be able to look at the possibilities of other man/woman relationships, and be able to devote the energy needed to make that work.  If you're still devoting all that energy into hating this ex of yours, you won't be able to devote enough of you to the new relationship, and that too will fail.  You'll find yourself trapped in a never-ending cycle of bitterness.  You are TOO GOOD for that!  You DESERVE better!  Illegitimatum non carborundum, is how it's said in Latin...in other words, don't let the b*****d grind you down!

Answer 6

Your question would be much clearer if you would punctuate and capitalize properly. That being said, if you're done with this guy (which it doesn't sound like you are) then you cut off contact. Stop taking his calls and change your number if it's necessary. Don't give him an opportunity to give you his line of BS, because you're right not to trust him. Then, you forgive what he did, but you do it for yourself, not for him. You let go of the anger because the anger is really only hurting you.

Answer 7

It depends.

How many more nights, weeks, months, years do you want to spend crying?

To you want to wake up one morning when you are 30 and realized that you've wasted so many tears and love on this guy?

How hurt are you going to have to be before you realize that circumstances change, but people don't?

Answer 8

Block his calls, his emails and any other medium of communication you've got with him.  Forget him and move on.  Join a new social network and move forward with your life.