I hate my husband, how do i get out? ?

Question

I've been married 17 years, have two kids, 14 & 12. Problem is; i hate him. I find him repulsive to be around, I can't stand him. I want out of my marriage so bad I can't even see straight but the problem is I'm afraid to tell him that. I can't talk to him like a normal person-he is the type that flies off the handle and becomes verbally abusive. The last time I had a fight with him he said he should just get his gun out and shoot me in the head. (said this in front of my oldest no less) I've had the gun pushed into my face more than once so i went out and bought a bigger gun and I'm a better shot. I just don't know how to get him to talk this over like an adult because i'm scared to death. WTF do I do?? please don't mention counseling, we can't do that.

Answer 1

Sometimes it's better to stay for the sake of the kids, but sometimes it's better to get OUT for the sake of the kids. Your children are seeing this destructive behavior modelled by your abusive husband and your reaction to it, and there is a danger they might imitate it in their future relationships. Plus, you don't want your children to witness a shootout between you and your husband.

Please get out now.  

Answer 2

It's very difficult to see a way out when the rut is deep, isn't it.  There is no way out but to get out.  Make some plans and execute them (not him).  You'll not get him to talk about "this" like an adult.  That may come in the future when the truth hits him--or it may not (for me the day to talk about it as adults never did come).  

  Please act for the sake of the children.  They don't deserve to be in a house where there is stress, tension, and idiotic fighting.  Speaking of idiotic, getting a bigger gun than he has belongs in that category--you realize that, right?

Answer 3

Couples counseling?  Not a chance.  You will need counseling though, as will your children.  You & your poor kids should have been out of that house long ago.  Shame on you & your husband for putting & keeping your children in harm's way.

Answer 4

Pack up the kids and go somewhere safe.  Then have a attorney send him a letter asking saying that you are filing for divorce.  Also get a temporary protection order at the same time.  

Answer 5

wow

Answer 6

If your husband is seriously willing to shoot you, go to the police and take care of this without your husband.

Answer 7

okay this is what you do get as much **** as possible run for the ******* hill and take your childern with you he is crazy hide i dont wanna see you on the News you and your kids this is stupid run please run this sounds like he will kill you  

Answer 8

drive or walk your happy butt to a women shelter.

take the kids with you

and they will help you with the process, most states you can have a divorce without him saying ok to it

Answer 9

Everyone tells you to leave. Yes, that would solve one problem and create others. What would you children think and do? How do they feel about their father? It's not so easy to disappear into thin air. What about your family and friends and your children's friends? Will they be given up without any communication? What will you do for money? These questions go on and on. It sounds like you will have a nasty and possibly a violent divorce. Whew, a scary situation.  

Answer 10

ARE YOU CRAZY???!!!!! Leave now! Take your kids and get out of there. There is nothing to talk about.  

Answer 11

Choose your seconds.  Pistols at dawn.  Ten paces turn and fire.

The first chance you get, remove all firearms from your home.  A L L , no exceptions.  Find a divorce attorney to draw up papers that include a restraining order.  Pack his things and put them on the porch or in the garage and change the door locks at the same time he is being served.

Your children need stability, do not rip them from their home.  Demand a police escort when he comes for his things or have one of his family members come collect them.

See how simple that is.

Answer 12

pack your things and get out, since he is threatening you go into protective custody so he will not know where to find you. Get out before it's too late. He could fly off the handle worse next time

Answer 13

Just get up and go.  You don't owe him an explanation.

Answer 14

Move out, preferably to a different town, get a protective order immediately

Answer 15

  h**l two peas in the pot . One has a gun and the other is getting a bigger gun . d**n!! You two better stay together . Either one of you come out here in the real world one of you may end up in jail flashing those things around . Not only that you would have to find another gun slinger to marry you and you know how hard those are to find nowadays  

Answer 16

FIRST OF ALL......i'd like to know what made you marry the dude in the first place...!!!!  And y'all like to threaten each other with guns? Man....that is just crazy....ohhhh so it's the morphine huh?? Give him the morphine then. If not having morphine makes him crazy, shouldn't you give it to him? (If he chooses not to take it on purpose theeeennn.....well i don't know what to tell you) More importantly, where is your family during all this? If you don't wanna see a marriage counselor, then what are you gonna do? You gonna do somethin about it? Let your family know what's goin on!!!  Hah. I'll be happy for you if you figure this out on your own. And your kids......well like i said, i'd be veeeeeeerrry happy for you if you ever found your own way out of this predicament. I think you should do what is best for your kids AND you. Yeah, I'm sure they get sick of him and love him, but what about YOU? You must get sick of him and still love him. I'm not sayin you should stop lovin him, I'm just sayin you should do what's right for your family.

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What made you marry him again..?

Answer 17

when he's at work, pack your kids and belongings and GO  don't stop tell you find a town that looks safe and away from him.

Answer 18

if your not gone by the time you read this message you are a fool....... call the cops they will put you in a home............. i know i work with one of these homes................ you and your kids are better off without him

Answer 19

You need to contact a battered womens shelter in order to get the best advice possible. This is a horrible situation and the professionals would probably provide the safest/best advice.  

Answer 20

Like every one saying,GET OUT FROM HIS HOUSE before he kill you.ask for help from women abuse agency.i don't know where are you.either i can tell you.you don't deserve to treated like nothing but un-wanted things.GET OUT!!!!!!!

Answer 21

omg if hes threatning to kill you then LEAVE

and then get a restraining order so he'll stay away

Answer 22

You need to prepare to get out, do little things, pack a suitcase and hide it but do not pack allot of clothes so he won't be suspicious, same goes for your kids, save some money, on the road food and call someone you trust that he does not know where you live and call the authorities in your area just before you leave and explain the situation to them. Your kids deserve a better life than what they are seeing now. What they are seeing, they will think that is the norm and possibly do the same to their spouse when they get married. I hope this helps. Good luck

Answer 23

Get the h**l out of that house and take your kids with you, there is nothing to talk about if you hate him and the fact he has held a gun to you means he cant feel that good about you either. I'm a CSI take it from me ive seen a lot of bad things in these instances. Pack ur stuff and your kids and stay with a relative. Seriously you can do this...