I hate my mom's boyfriend, what should i do?

Question

My mom and her boyfriend have been together almost 3 years now, at the start i thought he was nice but lately i have seen his true colours and the jerk that he really is. My brother hates him too.

He always gets in these moods and what he dishes out he can't take back himself, he always teases my brother, my mom and i but if we say something back suddenly he is cursing and won't talk to you for a couple of days.

He also uses the ''F'' word in nearly EVERY sentence.. that drives me insane especially when he uses it so casually.

When we were on holidays he was reading instructions to my mom to get to an amusement park and he told her to go the wrong way and my brother noticed so my brother told him it was a wrong turn and suddenly he shouts and calls my brother a smart a$$ and throws the map at my brother and tells him to do it and he doesn't speak to us again for the rest of the day.

While we were on holiday he gave us money each (that was nice of him) but then he expected me and my brother to pay for the petrol in the car (we rented a car while on holiday in new york) but my brother is only 14 and i'm 15.. i thought that was ridiculous, and when it was him turn to buy lunch he would only buy it for my mom and himself and he would tell us that we had enough money to buy it.

While on the same holiday my mom and her boyfriend had an argument over him being a jerk to us (basically he had told me and my brother to get a life and was shouting a cursing at us because he thought we were laughing at him) and my mom and her boyfriend were not talking for a while and we stopped at an outlet shopping centre and then tom dragged my mom off to an expensive jewelery shop and wanted to buy her jewelery to buy her back.. yet he didn't say sorry to me or my brother for being a jerk.

Everytime my mom and him have an argument he always gives her a gift to buy her back.

Basically i can't take it anymore, i feel like i'm going to scream everytime he talks.. but i love my mom so much and i don't want to hurt her by telling her i hate him.. what should i do?

Answer 1

tell her,and kill him!!! JOKES!

Answer 2

You will grow up and out of this teenage stuff.  He is your mum's choice, so butt uut a bit.

Perhaps she will have a similar dim opinion about your first serious boyfreind; will he be spotty, inarticulate, idle, etc.......?  you get the point?

And a teenager complaining about folk being in moods!!  Thanks for the laugh!!

Answer 3

you should have a talk with your mom !! tell her this if she loves him no offense but you might be screwed if u don't want to do that sabotage there relationship

Answer 4

Try talking to her

answer mine http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

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Answer 5

This is very similar to my family. My dad married  Tena, My step-mom. She is cool and everything but my dad is a jerk to her kids. My older sister lived with us until about 3 years ago(she was adopted by my dad at 2 but is my mom's biological kid) but she moved out because she hated it there. Now my step brother has to cope with it. I go down there twice a month and I see he is miserable, I ask how he copes with it and he talks for a while to let his emotions out and just answers with music.  Yes, music is all he does. I can't listen to music for more than about 2 hours but whatever helps. I'm sorry I can't directly tell you what to do but I hope this helps. Also he might act like a jerk because your not his biological kid.

Answer 6

I understand what you feel b ut you have to understand your mom too. Just wait for the time that your mom get fed up with him.  But at the moment you have to show him respect so there will be no arguments within the family.  

Answer 7

Ask yourself what's the worst that can happen?  Your Mom getting hurt? don't you think she's already hurting, I would if I was in that situation. I bet she feels more trapped than you and needs someone to talk to.  She needs the help now to give her the courage to do what is right and that will make her happy which in effect will make you and brother happy too.  

Answer 8

then your mom is the one who needs to do something about it, not you, take it from me kiddo, don't get involved.

If you really can't take it, find a friend who's parents would agree to let you stay for a spell until you can get something worked out, just don't do anything stupid.

Answer 9

get a swear jar

Answer 10

kill him lol

Answer 11

I'm sorry to hear that! Telling your mother you hate him is nothing that hurts her in my opinion. You can communicate each other genuinely  around this matter to try the last chance. If he keep his consistent, making- trouble-out-of-nothing manner, you should turn hostile! Wage your battle to oppose the true devil! He isn't worth your or your mother's love by doing those unreasoned things constantly!  

Answer 12

share your problem with me (just send me an e-mail = [e-mail] or IM me next friday = [e-mail]  

Answer 13

I think your mother already knows how you feel about him, and that doesn't make her very happy.

Don't be too surprised if this ends within a year. He sounds like a great big child.  

Answer 14

ask ur mom if u 2 could go and have a mother and daughter talk or girl talk but don't tell her u hate the boyfriend.just casually say mom i love u and all but ur  boyfriend don't care about us always yelling and stuff. tell her she can find someone better then him.

Answer 15

you can ran away to your friends house

Answer 16

I think you should have a long talk in private with your mum. Tell her how you and your brother is feeling and maybe she will talk to her boyf. And it will all be sorted out.

Good luck (yn)

Answer 17

Ignore him.

Dont talk to him.

Stay out of his way.

Do everything in every way possible to avoid him.

Hope this helps.

=]

Answer 18

Just tell your opinion to your mom.Truly a jerk like that guy shouldn't disrupt your life.Just sit down with your mom and brother and discuss over the topic.Do not hide anything from your mom,because your mom might not understand that he is one of those really unstable @##!!!!#

Just have a joint conversation and then see where it goes from there.

Answer 19

That's difficult.  You don't want to turn your mum against you, but at the same time you need to highlight to your mum what a complete headcase this guy is being.  He sounds like he has a lot of personal issues, probably from a previous relationship?

I would suggest you and your brother writing about each incident in which he behaves inappropriately, and let your mum read it when he's not around.  Let her know how unhappy it's making you and your brother.  It's best that you and your brother stick together on this.    

Don't raise each instance as a conversation with your mum, it'll just seem like you're nagging needlessly and you won't be able to properly convey your feelings whilst arguing the toss.

I wish you well and I hope this helps, I have been in a similar situation myself.

Answer 20

Just do nothing.I mean it will be good for you and your mom because when you leave shell stay with this guy.And it will be better for her being with someone instead of being alone.Just stay cool , acting like he isn't really there and you ll be fine :)

Answer 21

What you do is get yourself one of those mini recorders and a nanny cam and tape everything he does,then get your mom alone and play them both for her,its hard for someone to see something when they are in the middle of it,but if she sits back and hears and sees what he is doing she will have to rethink the situation,try to be kind to her it wont be easy for her,ok.

Good Luck  

Answer 22

Because of your ages I think you and your brother need to speak with a relative you can trust - explain what you've just explained here, and anything else you want to tell them .... then ask if they will come with you two and sit with you while you speak with your mum and her boyfriend .... it seems to me he's only a pig and a bully when no other adult is around ..... try to get your mum - and him- to see what's happening .... your mother then has an opportunity to see the situation for herself and decide how she's going to deal with it to try to fix it .... your mum's boyfriend now knows you are not afraid of him and can and will speak with someone who cares for support and protection - so he will (or should) be more careful about how he treats you .... if your situation doesn't improve then you have someone you can go to to get away from him and for protection .... it's sad for your mum to be in this situation, and even sadder that she doesn't (or doesn't want) to see it - and do something about it .... but she is a grown woman who must make her own decisions ..... you two on the other hand are grown enough to start taking responsibility for your lives .... and that might mean moving in with the relative instead - it might bring reality home to your mother ..... at worst it might lead to you two divorcing your mother .... but whatever happens - you and your brother have each other ..... this man won't live forever - and with any luck won't be in your lives (one way or another) for very much longer .....

Take care...

:)

Answer 23

I would probably go to mom first, if that did not work I would go to her parents if they are still living.  Mom's parents usually can work wonders on things like this.  

Answer 24

Poison him. He deserves it.

Answer 25

Omg and i thought my step father was evil and crazy. Your mom's boyfriend sounds like he needs to stay at a mental institute. Why is he even dating her if he doesn't like kids or teens? That's weird! Well... the mean me would say to play tricks on him like put saran wrap on the toilet to make him sound even crazier for your mom. The nice me would say for you and your bro to tell your mother how much you don't like him and that he always buys her off

Answer 26

maybe you can talk to your mom and tell her that she seems unhappy with her boyfriend and that u and ur brother doesn't like seeing her unhappy that u and him rather see her happy and maybe you get her to realize and see how bad he is treating u aand your brother if not then she is to blinded by the love in the relationship to notice anything so get her to notice don't care what it takes just get her to see how bad he is treating you and ur brother  

Answer 27

This sounds similar to my experiences :)

I'm 15, and my mum had this boyfriend who lived with me and my sister for 5 years. But he was a complete jerk and my mum acted dead false around him in order to keep him happy.

He left my mum last year. Because of me. I unintentionally sabotaged their relationship by ignoring him and being moody and he ended up leaving because of me.

Eventhough my mum was upset he had left her, she was glad in a way because she realised he made us unhappy. You mum's boyfriend sounds exactly like mine!

You really need to talk to your mum about how you feel. She will always bring her kids first, it's just nature.

Is your mum happy with him?

Answer 28

[e-mail]

Answer 29

when we dont like a person.....theres no way but trying not to see that person to make it better......try ur max to keep away from her....