I hate my parents so much, what do I do?

Question

My parents, while they obviously tried their best to raise me, have really done nothing but given me grief, depression, social anxiety and self-esteem issues with their negativity, blaming every issue that I have on ME, and never ever even considering once that they might have something to do with it and letting out their anger about other issues onto me when I was a teenager. They always focus on how fat I apparently am, always on looks. The most important thing my mum cares about is her image, no matter how much she denies it, actions and behavior speak louder then words of course. She always critizes and judges people. My dad just has huge abandoment and self-esteem issues because he was adopted and unloved as a child, and has an explosive temper although it's calmed down over the past year since he got type 1 diabetes from neglecting himself. They both have no friends, no real social life, especially my dad who still likes to work to his grave.

Basically...I'm sick of feeling sorry for him and feeling like all my parents problems are because of me...that's exactly how they made me feel for so many years. Habouring all that guilt and self-hatred and not being able to develop properly as a person has turned me half-mental. And they wonder why I had to tell a relative about it and see a psychologist as well as go onto anti-depressants....and have anger and ignorance against me doing that. LOL.

I am desperate to get away from them and their bad influence, I am old enough to move out but still going to uni and cannot afford anything right now...meanwhile, can anyone suggest things I can do so their stupidity doesn't rub off on me while I'm still here because while I'm more distant towards them their unconstructive comments still anger and hurt me .TYVM.

Answer 1

I'm really sorry that you're going through all of that.

How much longer until you're finished University? Do what you can to save money while you're in school and when you're out you'll be able to leave and live on your own. Have you got a best friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend to turn to?

It's great that you realize that this is their problem and not your fault. That's a huge step. So many people in your shoes blame themselves and take the burden onto their shoulders. I'm glad to see you aren't doing that.

It's sad that this is how your family life is, but soon you'll be able to live your life independently and you'll have learned how not to make the same mistakes they have.

In the meantime, keep yourself busy with your own life. School, friends, work, etc. Join a club or activity that will get you out of the house a few days a week and something to look forward to as well.

DONNA S - What a horrible thing to say! I can't believe someone would write something like that to a person who is clearly upset with their home life. You're disgusting.

Answer 2

yeahhh i kinda feel the same about my parents

they pushed my sister in to serious depression and i am very unconfindent

keep your head up..

try look at things in a positive way

=)

Answer 3

Sometimes thinking that we are responsible for our problems is a more helpful way, since if we owns the behavior, we can change the behavior.  or the perception. Universities sometimes have counseling available, you could find help there. Good luck.

Answer 4

I kinda know how your feeling my family hate me too! and they annoy me but I'm trying to focus on getting out of here instead of worrying about them mistreating me. my dads said I was fat in the past and that hurt me so badly. seriously try and have a plan of getting yourself out the house, I've got to wait 2 years before I can because I have to finish college :(

Answer 5

Well, I think you've managed this far and if it's just to get thru school then I think you need to endure a couple more yrs. Your other option is to get ON CAMPUS.. get funding apply for loans. Put adds in papers for other students who need  a roomate.

I am sorry for the life you have lived. I truly am. And I mean this with respect... WE ALL have stories.. some worse than others. And if you keep going with the adittude that you are a VICTIM you will be for the rest of your life !!!

You need to think smart and help yourself.. Counceling may help you and help heal.

But it is all going to come down to you dealing with What is done is done and how can I change my future to be healthy !!

Look for resources around you. Like I said. Roommate, Funding etc..

Good Luck to you !!

Learn to forgive for you not them !

Answer 6

Hey join the club! there are loads of people feeling like you but it will get better. You will end up a better adult by not behaving like your parents. Most great interesting people have parents who are nuts you just have to find a way to release the pressure while you are still at home, try kickboxing or running they are both great ways to release anger and chill out.

Once you have left home you can contact them on your terms.

Sparky

Answer 7

To the two first posters... losers much? Why are you so cold and unhelpful? I'm in a similar situation and basically just trying to endure right now, I wish I could offer some advice but don't feel fit to. =(

Answer 8

I think you have to learn how to forgive them. they are your parent is a fact  which  you can't change it for this life.no matter what they did to  you i am sure they don mean it.  Just give them a chance try to communicate with them. tell them how you feel, after listening  to you, Who know they  might change because of  you.

Answer 9

My friend. why you are so mad of your parents.

We all should love our parents. and we shouldn't hate them. after all they are our PARENTS.

i know how u feel. but think calm. may be they are not good with you but if you go away from them or started hating them, will you be good. you will do the same they did to you so dont hate them.

try loving them and try making them understand which things they do hurt your feelings.

ask them to stop it. parents are also humans and make many mistakes so children like us should take care of these mistakes and give our parents instruction.

I hope you will think calm and find a solution for your problems.

best of luck.

Answer 10

Get over it. They're family.

Answer 11

The BEST revenge for a lousy childhood. . . . .is a RESPLENDENT adulthood.  Do some introspection and decide what it is you want to accomplish as an ADULT; what you can improve upon about YOURSELF; and deciding TODAY that you're going to accomplish POSITIVE THINKING about YOUR LIFE  !!!!!

I always recommend the movie "The Mirror Has Two Faces" with Barbra Streisand and Jeff Bridges to women with self-esteem issues.  What Barbra does in that movie to CHANGE herself is worth noting and emulating.  Get it and watch it.  THEN DO IT !!!

COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION. . . .is ALWAYS the best way to resolve conflict with people; even if they ARE family.  If you HAVEN'T tried talking to your parents (in a LOVING manner. . . .'cause anger gets no one ANYWHERE). . . . .then I certainly wouldn't neglect THAT option, too.