I hate myself. I want to die.?

Question

I'm not one of those people who seek attention. I truly hate myself. I'm not pretty,im really skinny, ugly complexion, ugly face, ugly everything.

When I was younger, I was sexually harassed by my cousin.

About a year ago, i was sexually harassed again by this man, in my own house while i was sleeping.

most people dont even know i get depressed, they think everythings good but thats cause I know how to hide it. And hide it really well too.

I used to cut myself. Cry myself to sleep. write hate letters. sleep all day. not eat like in 2 days. stay in my room all day. take sleeping pills. anger problems. rebellious.

never tried drugs. a & b student. going to highschool this year. 14.

that was before though(not eating , sleeping pills, rebellion etc) but now its happening again.

i dont need your sympathy either... I just want to be normal.

help me.

please leave out any rude comments, I dont need that -_-

ps. excuse my spelling, grammar etc....

Answer 1

Hello, it sounds to me that you are having some depression..I know because I have been through that many times. I would see your Doctor and tell them just what you wrote on your question here...there is help out there. Medication and counseling...whatever works for you..

Take care.

Answer 2

I too suffer from depression and have done so for many years, please please please take care of yourself and no you are not worthless every one has some contribution to make in this world and you are no different from any of us I am sure you are intelligent enough to figure this out and work thru it I f you have any doubts about yourself maybe you might like a friend to talk to [e-mail]      -anytime I can help

Answer 3

well i think evryone goes through this stage hunny you just need to see it through your body changes alot when your that age and it will get better .... youl be fine evrything feels like this and majority of people have been sexually harrased or assulated at least once during lufe so your not alone but you do need to tell someone about it its the best thing to do to let it owt i was sexually assulted my my second couison when i was about 6 and i onli just told someone im now 17.... i told my mum and then she told me she had been aswell there are alot of sick people around these days but not all people are bad youl make lots of friends and you will soon forget about this this isnt sympathy alot of people can relate to you  

Answer 4

Please do not listen to even well meaning people who say it's all about hormones, they should at least know how to spell hormones,

If it was all hormones why is the #4 killer of kids 10-14 years olds SUICIDE?? (NIMH-2004) The number get worse as we get older.

I know you say you want to die and you hate yourself, but think about it. There must be a big part of you deep down that does not want to die, because you are here asking for support--that's the survivor in you talking.

Please get PROFESSIONAL help. Ask yourself, if it was my child, would I get her help, real help. Talk to your parents, if they won't help, talk to a school counselor, they have heard everything and they are LEGALLY obligated to help you.

Please take care, treat yourself as you would your baby.

Answer 5

14.

Hormoanes.

Join the queue of millions of kids who feel the exact same as you do.

Seriously. I promise you that feeling like this is normal at your age.

I bet you listen to some branch off of rock music. Maybe even angry hip-hop, but most likely rock music.

I'm not being rude love, but you need a dose of reality it seems. So many kids think they're depressed these days because they expect everything to be dandy.

Life sucks. Hormoanes suck. Almost every teenager cuts themselves. It's a ******* irrational epidemic.

Go to your Doctor if you're that bothered. I predict prozac or placebos, and counselling is in store for you.

Because it's always the same with 'depressed' teenagers.

Answer 6

If you are proud of yourself why do you hate yourself?you are contradicting yourself.If you are proud for what you are why do you want to be something else?

You need to tell your parents about the sexual harassment.It will help you release your stored pain and very likely get your cousin to prison and/or banned from your house.

As for your perceived ugliness you are wrong.Every woman is beautiful it only depends on who is looking.

What makes you think you are ugly if no one else said you are?You need to raise your self confidence.You need to socialize more and receive honest compliments from others.

If you want you can post your picture here for us to convince you otherwise about your appearance.

Only you can change your life with your actions.No one here can do it instead of you.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry about the sexual harrassment  but I'm more worried that you think you are ugly.  Self esteme starts with looking in the mirror and liking what you see. Don't try drugs. Itt'le make you feel worse.

You can be normal. I'll help you. email me as soon as you can.

[e-mail]

         or

[e-mail]

P.S. Being unattractive is something that you can controll and change.

Answer 8

1)  Tell your parents or guardians about your cousin's behavior toward you.

2)  Start seeing the counselor at your high school.  This is one of the things they're there for -- to listen to you and help you through your problems.

3)  Understand that sexual harassment is not your fault.  It's the fault of the person doing the harrassment.

4)  Accept that you have every right to be angry toward your cousin for his actions.  Don't turn your anger in on yourself.  You're not the one to blame.  HE hurt YOU.

5)  Recognize that you are not alone, and the harassment you've experienced does not make you "abnormal".  1 out of every 4 women experiences sexual abuse, usually by a relative.  Take a look around your classrooms and realize that 1 out of every 4 girls you see have probably experienced something similar to you.  If you have friends you trust, talk to them -- you might find out that one of them has gone through something akin to what you've been going through.  You're really more "normal" than you know.

6)  Do NOT let anybody try to tell you that sexual harassment isn't something worth "rocking the boat" over.  It's hurting you, and that makes it important.  Your cousin deserves whatever happens to him as a result of his actions.  You don't deserve to suffer so he can be protected.

Worst case?  Go to the police.  Or, if your cousin comes into your room again, scream for help.  Or tell a reporter.  You're a teenager, and it's frustrating to be a teenager when something's wrong because you feel powerless to do something about it, but there is somebody somewhere in a position of authority who WILL listen to you and help you.  Find that person and get the help you need.  You don't deserve to suffer for any of this -- period.

Answer 9

I used to do those things when I was younger. Sucks being a teenager huh? it always feels like no-one understands you.

However, I did grow out from those bad habits as I was thinking that the only person who can control my life is myself, and it was up to me to choose between the good or bad path. So please don't choose the wrong path for you.

If you have tried talking to people, you might feel that you always get the same answer, but really you have to help yourself first so the others can help you.

But yeah, talk to someone who understand you the most and who you trust the most. Piling up all the hatred to yourself will just do more damage.

I really hope you'll be okay soon.

:)

Answer 10

You should report the guy who assaulted you to the police or a rape crisis centre. You should talk to your parent(s).  

Answer 11

OH MY!!! I hate to say it but you really need to talk to an adult who can get you help!! it sounds as if you are having Depression and it is not just a word for an excuse to be sad!! depression is a very seriuos sickness!!! I lost my onlu blood sister to it 2004!!! You have had alot of trama!! Let alone having to be a teen!! Going into highschool!!! I know how bad that can be! Worse if you feel bad before youe even get there Seek Help!!! that is your best way to go!!!!!!!!!!!! Your spelling and grammar are GREAT by the way!!!

Answer 12

I think you should talk to someone about it. Perhaps your new school nurse? She can help put you on the right path. Or even your doctor, they would be able to give you good advice. Good Luck..

Answer 13

make friends

Answer 14

We all have to be careful that we do not listen to other peoples negative opinions of us, nor even our own at times.  Speak with your parents about your depression and let them know that you would like to have someone help you like a counsellor.

If you are unattractive then that is something that you cannot control, just ensure that you do take care of yourself and your body.  Focus on the areas in your life that you can control such as schoolwork, household chores, homework, reading, sports, going out with friends and socialising.

Write a list of 10 things that you are grateful for each day, this will help to increase your positive feelings.  Include a list of everything that you have accomplished in your life so far, this will increase your self-esteem.  Lastly write a list of goals to achieve which will help you focus your mind.

Answer 15

Assertiveness and Wellbutrin would go a long way...

Have you seen the movie Rocky Balboa, there is a saying; "The stuff in the basement"...  You have it and now you just need to focus it!