I hate the Word Marriage?

Question

I have been with my baby father for nearly 9 years now. Everyone around my is getting marries, but me. All he have given me is heart ache. I'm tired of everyone asking me when I'm going to get married. Sometimes I just want to break down and cry. What should I do to get through this. Please be kind, this topic is very sensitive to me.

Answer 1

dont be afraid to ask him to marry you, , if you love him, go for it, you never know....good luck

Answer 2

After 9 years with him you have the right to tell him marry you or get out.  At some point you have to realize your just torturing yourself and depriving yourself of true love by staying with him if he isn't willing to be the man you need him to be.

Answer 3

He isn't going to marry you because he doesn't want to.  I'm sorry, but you should have never let it get like this.

Answer 4

Leave this relationship if you want to get married because it doesn't look like it's ever going to happen with this fool.  

Answer 5

You can't unring the bell. You already had a baby without being married. You are already playing house so why get married now? If you really want to get married then communicate with your baby's father and let him know how you feel. Next time someone asks just answer with "Whenever he asks me." and leave it at that. Maybe they will shame him into doing something he hasn't already done. I don't see it happening. If he hasn't done it by now I don't see why he would want to spend the money on a wedding when he already has a family.  

Answer 6

There is something wrong with a guy who is in a relationship for 9 years and can't commit. I was ready to marry my girlfriend after 2 years...no way she would have let it go longer than that anyway. He has commitment issues. And if out of 9 years, the bad outweighs the good...it's definitely time to emotionally and physically check out. Maybe, just maybe all he needs is a boost. He's comfortable and isn't budging so maybe you should take the first step and bounce. If he loves you, I mean really loves you, he'll do the right thing.

9 years? No way. Make him make a decision. Man that is so unfair to you.

Answer 7

If all he has given you is heart ache, why in the world do you put up with it?  Honestly, I am not trying to be mean in anyway but you deserve better than what you are getting.  If you did marry him would your relationship be any better or different than it is now?  It's wonderful to dream of what could be but be honest with yourself would he really change?  

Answer 8

girl, only get married when you are ready to. noone can tell you other wise. and you really need to get out of that relationship. love doent hurt and you seem like a really nice girl you can do better. if you need a friend im here for you girl. my email is [e-mail] or you can im me. good luck and always love yourself and keep your head up.

Answer 9

Ignore what people say....

And get out of this bad relationship.

Good luck.

Answer 10

I understand completely. I've been through it. I have a degree in sociology, so let me tell you a couple things that I learned

1. marriage is a social construct. That means it's just a made up idea. Someone, somewhere came up with it and it caught on. That doesn't necessarily even make it a good idea, much less right for everyone!

2. People want everyone else to act like them. It makes THEM feel more comfortable, not you. They are being selfish by wanting you to get married so that they have someone to talk to about being married.

3. People often tell you to be like them because they are jealous of what you have. Maybe these people feel trapped or bored in their marriages and they envy you your freedom. Maybe they don't know they're doing it, but they may be sabotaging you because they're jealous.

Remember, only YOU can decide what works for you. And there's nothing wrong with telling that to the people who are pressuring you. Also, you should feel free to tell them that it makes you feel bad when they bring it up. They're the ones who are out of line for pressuring you and there's nothing wrong with calling them on it.

Good luck, and congratulations on being yourself and doing what feels right to you thus far!

Answer 11

Runaway! The pain will go away eventually, but imagine how worse it's going to be in 3 or 4 years. If you want to marry him, then ask him, if not just let him know things aren't working the way they should and it's best fro you to move on with your life and find true happiness,

Answer 12

If you are not married to him, and he has been given you heartaches, then do not be with him any longer.

If you are not with him, and you are dating other men who have been given you heartache, then stop dating for a while and put all of your energies towards your baby.

Love will come around when you least expect it.

But leave him, you are not married, you have no marital ties, so make you and your baby happy and leave him.

You will feel so much better, plus, you can get him for child support!

Answer 13

you sound like you have been heart broken before you need to dig deep in your heart and find your self worth time is winding up and you will be lonely and that shacking up isn't the answer find a man that is worth keeping and that you know will love you