I have 3 kids. One is 12, one is 10 and the youngest is 8. I worry about my 10 year old............?

Question

She is prone to overreact to minor problems. She is very unorganised, especially when it comes to doing her homework. She seems a bit immature compared to my other daughter. She is very bright. I worry she has a minor case of Asperger's Syndrome. I have mentioned this to her teacher and to my Doctor, both feel I have nothing to worry about. I still can't help worrying. Any ideas?

Answer 1

well shes two years younger, i was that way when i was 10, and im okay.....well, some would beg to differ, but im basically okay. ;)

Answer 2

Stop.  Worrying.  It's this kind of worrying that leads to the overdiagnosis of REAL problems that other kids have when it's just merely growing pains or minor behavorial phases that will be grown out of with patience and parenting, instead of diagnoses and drugs.

She's a middle child.  Middle children are attention seekers, because they're not "the oldest" and they're not "the baby".  You say she's immature compared to your other daughter--which one?  The older one?  Of course she's going to be more immature than the older one.  But more immature than the younger one?  That's the "Hey, pay attention to ME, I'm not chopped liver!" thing going on.

So just be a parent and recognize that you have three daughters and the one in the middle of everything is going to feel "unspecial" or unimportant at times.  Give her a little more attention and praise, but don't reward bad behavior.  Show her how important she is to you and the rest of the family, too.

Answer 3

Sounds like a lot of 10 year olds to me.  Here is a list of signs of Aspergers:

    * Engaging in one-sided, long-winded conversations, without noticing if the listener is listening or trying to change the subject

    * Displaying unusual nonverbal communication, such as lack of eye contact, few facial expressions, or awkward body postures and gestures

    * Showing an intense obsession with one or two specific, narrow subjects, such as baseball statistics, train schedules, weather or snakes etc.

    * Appearing not to understand, empathize with, or be sensitive to others' feelings

    * Having a hard time "reading" other people or understanding humor

    * Speaking in a voice that is monotonous, rigid or unusually fast

    * Moving clumsily, with poor coordination

    * Having an odd posture

I would listen to your doctor and especially the teacher..after all..the teacher would notice I would think.

Answer 4

Honestly it sounds as your daughter is starting puberty (if not already) and has ADD. It is a hard time for Girls/Young Women with ADD/ADHD (Puberty) as they are more sensitive to minor issues than most. I would recommend the book "Understanding Girls with AD/HD"

by Kathleen G. Nadeau, Ph.D. and Ellen Littman, Ph.D., and Patricia O.Quinn, M.D.

It doesn't sound like Asperger's - my nephew has that and he is 19yo and a Jr in College Doing AMAZING for any 19yo and he is not a social outcast or seen negatively by peers (even in HS or Elem/Middle School he was popular).

Answer 5

maybe she just needs a bit of time to mature,each child is different and maybe you subconciously compare your kids? give her time and maybe a shopping trip with just you two,kids like to have a bit of individual time with there parents,maybe a few chats with her alone will help.

Answer 6

My video will help you understand I have Asperger's and made this video to help http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbgUjmeC-...

Answer 7

I've noticed with both my boys (the youngest being 10 now) that at this age they go through what I call "practice puberty" It, of course fully blows up at the age of 16-17 (my oldest - sigh :) .

Answer 8

Don't compare your children to each other,they're all individuals. If your doctor says there's nothing to worry about,

there probably isn't. Help her with organizing her homework,

teach her about appropriate behavior,but don't make problems where there aren't any. She'll be fine.

Answer 9

hey x

i am 10 and I'm a girl....i am like that all the time ... my mum took me to the doctors and the doctor said it was nothing, just a certain stage in my life.i hope i helped...not that anyone takes any notice to 10 year olds...

Answer 10

You may not have anything to worry about then again a Mother's Intuition is not something to Ignore.

If you feel that she may be a little different then you should be pushing to get a diagnosis one way or another, I know from experience that a mother is not always listened to by doctor's, I have been treated this way in the past.  You may need to change doctor's get another opinion.  Your daughter's school should also have some kind of system for referring kids maybe via the school councillor for tests to do with learning difficulties.  She may not have Asperger's or ADHD, which was my first thought when I read your question, but wouldn't it be better to try and sort it out now when you can help her before she falls too far behind in school or suffers socially.

If they don't find anything to worry about, at least you can stop worrying and know that you have done your best to look out for her.

Best Wishes.

Answer 11

well I'm not an expert about birth order but it makes sense to me that a middle child would be more prone to "overreact to minor problems" aka be more dramatic and do other kinds of behaviors to get attention. don't worry about it everyone is different.

Answer 12

my sister was just like your daughter but after couple years she changed alot

so don't worry i'm sure she's not gana stay like that for the rest of her life