I have OCD and I'm scared to get into a relationship?

Question

I'm 21, and used to have an active sexlife when I was 16 and 17. 5 years on, nothing. I gave up looking for the right girl when i broke a girls heart pretty badly, and could only blame myself. it's a long story so i won't go into it. i found out last xmas that i have OCD, and because xmas time was particularly stressful it got a lot worse. now i feel repulsed by the idea of touching people i don't know or trust.

how can i possibly start up a relationship with someone when i have no idea what's going to happen when we get to the bedroom. a few things could happen: i could tremble in fear, freeze solid in fear, rock back and forth crying, or i could be alright. the problem is, it gets worse the more i think of it because it'll stress me out. so how do i not think about it when it's the second biggest thing on my mind at the moment.

the biggest thing on my mind is, none of my friends or family ever help me out with my OCD. but 2 months ago i started being friends with a girl at work. i fancied her to start with, but this soon grew into love because she helps me out so much. now i love her like a sister, and fancy her all the same. if this wasn't confusing enough, i fear i'm turning into the same love rat i used to be because i'm getting jealous again. she's my best friend, and she knows how i feel, but she's told me she's got enough friends saying the same at the moment. how do i get my friendship back, and how do i move on when i know i'll be thinking about her the whole time i'm with the new girl?

Answer 1

I believe you would benefit from counselling and also from cognitive behavioural therapy, which is used to combat OCD.  If you see your G.P., he/she will be able to arrange this for you and may also suggest medication.  It isn't worth struggling along alone with this, there is some help out there.  I have a friend who has this condition and it isn't the condition itself that gets on my nerves but the fact that she won't do anything about it and refuses to seek medical help.  I just avoid her now.

Answer 2

that relationship maybe needs time and lol this reminds me of Dexter's laboratory, his mum used to have OCD and couldn't touch people so now she wears rubber gloves but yeah when she went through counselling she had to touch things, just try touching people a handshake or a quick poke when they're not looking, if you love her that much then you could use her as a goal, someone to work for because when you get passed this OCD you'll just concentrate on her and the OCD won't hold you back

Answer 3

firstly, I'm sorry to hear that you have Oppressive Compulsive Disorder

secondly, if a girl truly loves you, then she will not care that you have OCD

tell your family and friends that you want their support with this and tell them about all of your confusing feelings

lastly just tell the girl how you feel

hope i was of some help

Answer 4

There is no need to do anything as such just take things slowly and stop thinking about it so much, take each day as it comes and keep talking to your friend as a friend.

Things will move on if you are both ready to, just enjoy any time you spend together.

When it does move on you may need to go back to your gp if you are still repulsed by touching bodies though.

Answer 5

Readpets.. I hope that was a syntax error as its Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I think your just going to have to take things slowly with whoever you have a relationship with, your gonna have to build up trust with that person and given time I think that you'll be able to open up to that girl and let her be intimate with you and you back to her.

It sounds like you have anxiety issues as well as O.C.D. which both can be eased by undertaking C.B.T. as someone else has said and you don't have to be taking medication to able to access this course. As long as you have an applicably condition then you can get on the course. Some areas are better facilitated then others for this course so expect a possibly waiting period to get on a C.B.T. course.

As far as your jealousy issues go, only you can improve this. The more you get to know someone, the more you'll trust in them and it should become less of an issue. As you've already recognised this flaw in you, you've taken the first step to becoming more dismissive of your jealous urges.

Finally, if there is no chance of a relationship with the girl you mention, then I'm afraid it s simply a case of moving on. I'm guilty of thinking about other girls from the past at times ( more so when I'm single ) but if you really love who your with, it shouldn't become an issue. You may think about a past love from time to time whilst in a relationship, but as long as it doesn't become to great and your often fantasising about a past love whilst with someone else, isn't this just reminiscing? I hope you find happiness mate