I have a 10 year old boy and he has been very defiant... my husband punished him by taking away his DS ?

Question

He wants to take it away for ever and I don't agree with him. I think take it away for a while so he can have something to look forward too. what do you say?

Answer 1

I think you and your husband need to sit down and discuss the way you are going to consistently discpline your child when he breaks the rules and agree to what the rules are and the appropriate consequences that will be applied each and every time by both of you! Nothing confuses and frightens a child more than inconsistency and the knowledge that parents don't agree about him. And when a child is confused and frightened he tends to be defiant and aggressive in order to learn what the limits for his behavior are.

Stop arguing, start communicating, and teach your child together!

Answer 2

I think it should be temporary with clear stipulations placed on his receiving it back.  Taking it for good offers him no incentive to change his behavior.  He'll just find something else to occupy himself with if he knows he'll never have the DS again.

Answer 3

Make him do all his chores, confiscate it for a week, every time he does something bad, take it off for a week.

Answer 4

Apply the 'Stick & Carrot' principle.

When he does good, starts behaving, THEN and ONLY THEN, give back the DS.  If his behaviour gets worse after that, then take it away again.

Answer 5

i think it should be only temporary...but keep it long enough where your 10 year old reckognizes that he has done wrong and explains to you what he is going to do about it...and keep taking it until he stops completely

Answer 6

Whatever a DS is....

Every child wishes to know where the boundaries are for behavior,,,, and they test them constantly.

If you have rules in your house, they need to be written down...

And none of the consequences ever ought to be physical punishment...

As well, kids remember for a week, maybe 10 days, so if this is something he likes, a week of having it gone is adequate.

The only things to take away forever are things he ought never to have had in the first place.... like a pistol, a rifle, a bomb.. etc.

Raising a child successfully, is a constant system of rewards and punishments.... sticks and carrots... make too many punishments and sticks, and yo get a very unbalanced, resentful kid.  Make too many rewards, and carrots, and your child thinks the entire world begins and ends where he sits.  The trick to being good parents is for your child to know exactly where the boundaries are... i.e., that he can go up to them but no farther, and he as well needs to know exactly what will happen if he does.  

Answer 7

i say if you cannot discipline him, then don;t open your yap cuz at least your husband is trying.

Answer 8

10 years old?

Take it away for a set time, but let the boy know how long that time will be, and STICK TO IT.

Answer 9

Punishment should not be a "forever" thing....

Maybe for a month - but not forever.

Answer 10

I agree with you.  Take it away temporarily so he can have a reward when his behavior finally changes.

Answer 11

keep it away from him for a good while...not forever..

make him earn it back but let him know that its gonna take some time for him to do that...

Answer 12

Explain to your husband that if he does not take out the garbage and pick up after himself, you promise that you will only withhold s*x for a short time and not FOREVER.

Answer 13

Your husband is a jerk.  Your husband is very immature and abusive.  You don't treat a ten year old like that.  You should take away your husband's  belongings forever when he misbehaves to give him a taste of his own medicine.