I have a 14 month old.....and the stress of toddlerhood is starting to get to me!!?

Question

I am so happy that he is constantly learning new things and becoming his own person, but at the same time I find myself becoming frustrated with some things. He of course does not listen to no and continues to do whatever he wants when he feels like it, and I am not really sure what to do. I do not want to feel negative about it, yet I want to have a consistant disciplne "routine" so that he does not get out of control. Is a 14 month too young to really discipline? Do they really understand that they should not be doing it? My son is extremely stubborn and I need some advise on how to deal.

Answer 1

Discipline is more training than punishment.  Please bear in mind that, at this age, he may be so engrossed in what he is doing or learning that he simply does not hear you.  I don't think that he is purposely ignoring you.  (unlike husbands!)  However, he is testing his limits (and your consistency).  Choose your battles and handle each situation the same way every time.  If you've chosen not to allow something, don't ever let it slide.  Rule lists or charts with the most important rules are great (use pictures he'll understand and refer to it when explaing that he's done wrong)  Make sure you are at his level (eye to eye) when you correct him.  I've cupped my son's cheeks in my hands and forced him to look at me sometimes.  BTW, is this a first-born??  Are they all liket his????  HA HA

Answer 2

The sooner you nip it in the bud....the better.....trust me on this. Try timeout....just designate one spot where you consistently put him after he does behavior you don't like. He's testing his limits with you and will continue to do so until otherwise. I know some people may suggest spanking, but I'm not a big believer of that or of smacking of the hands....try timeouts and just be consistent!

Answer 3

i feel you. i have a 3 yr old & 6 month old  and im due n feb!   its hard at times but  we can do it   my little girl is stubborn!!!!!

Answer 4

Hey there!

My general rule of thumb... if they're old enough to be defiant, they're old enough to be disciplined.  They need to learn early on that there is a consequence (good or bad) for everything.  The best thing to do is to be consistent.

My little guy has been doing time out since he was 13 months.  If I'd have known how well he would do with it as early as then, I'd have tried it sooner! :)  

With my 15 month old, I verbally correct his behavior "Ryan, close the cabinet door, please.  You may not play there.  Then, I count to 3 (saying no lost its effect MONTHS ago and I only shout NO! now when it's a very real danger (ie electrical outlet, fan, something hot, etc)).  After I get to three, I tell him why he is going to time out. (You are going to time out because you didn't listen when Mommy told you to close the door, etc.)  I set a timer that has an audible alarm; the microwave timer works well.  One minute per year of age (so for a 14 month old, one minute should be sufficient).

Completely ignore him in time out.  So long as he stays put, the timer keeps going.  If he leaves his spot, the timer starts over.  Every time you have to put him back, say, "time out, one minute."

When time out is over, let him know, "Your time out is over.  You need to listen when Mommy tells you...," then, "I love you, give me hugs and kisses.  Let's go play."

My little guy is as stubborn as a bull too. :)  And I mean STUBBORN.  For instance, when I ask him to look at me please, he will look EVERYWHERE but at my face.  (And he's sat in time out just for that, LOL.)  But time outs have been his saving grace.  After even just one little minute, his whole attitude is changed, and he's ready to cooperate.

He sits in time out, no matter where we are.  ANYWHERE can be a time out spot.  I just plop his butt down firmly enough and tell him he's in time out... and he gets it.  At home, he has a special "Hot Spot."  But, when we're out at friends' houses, the park, etc... he sometimes needs a time out too.  This helps to keep discipline consistent.

You are right to want a consistent discipline routine, and only you can determine what will work for you and your son.  With a little time and some patience (and a LOT of perseverance... sometimes it can take HOURS for them to get one lesson!), your stress level will decrease dramatically.  Sometimes, we need a time out too! :)

Hang in there, and good luck!

Answer 5

My son was starting to show signs that he understood "no" at 9 months... then after his first birthday he just stopped caring.  Now he just turned two and he's consistently responding to my verbal commands.  Every child is different but I don't think discipline is out of the question, he has to learn that there are boundaries and that he can not control his environment, he has to work within its limitations.  Getting him to respond to these verbal commands will pay off when you find him reaching for a hot pan on the stove when you can't reach him in time before he burns himself.  I would smack my son's hand, not hard but enough to sting a little and he would just wail and roll around on the floor like he was being murdered, which I completely ignored... I surely wasn't going to comfort him for the repercussions that resulted from him ignoring me.