I have a 16 year old son that does not listen and is headed down the wrong path with the wrong girl.?

Question

He has smoked pot, and drank. That seems to be the thing to do. His freinds are all into it. His girlfriend just wants to run him. But when he is with her, he doesn't do the other stuff, but if she ends up pregnant, there goes that. His grades are VERY poor.

Answer 1

Sounds like a normal kid to me. (ha ha)

If his friends are all doing it, the drinking and smoking you need to monitor that and start having his friends hang out at your house, where you can monitor more closely. If he isn't doing those things with the girl, sounds like she may not be such a bad influence.  Buy him a box of condoms, some boys are embarrassed to buy them on their own, It doesn't mean that you are approving of him having s*x, however, you need to explain to him that they are there for him to use. Better to be safe than sorry even if she is or says she is on birth control.

He's a boy, boys want to have s*x. Its that simple.

I have 3 sons, 24,17.14 and have just bought the first box of condoms for the youngest one.  the older ones have told me that they were glad that I did it, because it made them know that I was "smarter" than them.

Let him hang out with the girl all he wants AT YOUR HOUSE. That way you can keep an eye on him.

You also just have to talk. talk, talk to him all the time.

I also had told my boys that anytime they thought they wanted to have s*x with a girl..."think of me (mom) being naked" and that should sway them a little bit.

The grades are a problem too. If he doesn't get the grades up he doesn't get to hang out with the girl.

Instead of looking at the girl as a bad thing, use it to your advantage.

Tell your son that girls like smart boys better!

Answer 2

This is only my opinion and I don't wish to offend anyone, but most of the teenagers today have there TVs, computer games, ipods, mobile phones and goodness knows what else and because of this they don't really know much of the world or what is going on, even though they think they do and they say that they can handle it and don't meddle in my business, and they can give this up just like that, then there is peer pressure on top of that trying this that and everything else just to try and fit in and look and be cool, after a while when they fall as low as they can go they look back on what mum or dad has told them would happen and think why the h**l didn't I listen to them, they didn't listen because there is no discipline,because the government make it to easy, because they are getting older they think they know it all, I think the best thing you can do is not nag your son but keep at him about what he is doing to himself what it is doing to his body what sort of a reputation his friends are giving him, maybe convince him to go to a drug unit and show him what happens to those people, but as far as stopping him it will be up to him until he realises what its doing to him and until he really hits rock bottom I don't think much will change. I hope it works out for you and your son from one parent to another.  

Answer 3

Ground him, and take all the drugs away from him.

Replace drugs with reading books. Empty out his room, lock him in it with only educational books on a bookshelf, and s bed.

Answer 4

Threaten to kick him out of the house. Explain to him that this is your house and he has to abide by your rules. Now is the time for tough love..  Ground him, don't allow him to go out with friends, do whatever you have to and if he still won't listen, he's gotta go!

Answer 5

Bottom line, he'll find a way to do what he wants with you knowing or without you knowing.  At least you know what's going on now.  Let him find out by himself, "Trial by Fire" if you will.  I did a lot of bad stuff when I was younger but because I understood the consequences of all my actions (not that I cared), I turned out fine.  But I did see some of my friends go off the deep end and end up in places and doing things I could have never imagined.  AND, if you tell him you don't like what he's doing and try to control him, all that teenage angst will make him mad and he'll do more.  My advice would be constructive criticism or just give him advice, without really telling him what to do.

Answer 6

give him some condoms and drinking is natural experimentation , just because they have s*x wont mean she will get pregnant

the only thing you can do with kids who are so close to adulthood is remove them from the situation , so this mean moving him schools and away from his freinds, do you have some family far away he could stay with for a year while he gets over the silly phase?

he will be very angry with you for a while but he will quickly see you saved him from himself.

Answer 7

So be the parent in the situation.  Don't let him hang out with his pot - smoking/drinking friends, forbid him to see the girl, and force him to study.  If he has to come straight home from school every day, then so be it.  If he doesn't come home and goes out with his buddies, sic the cops on him.  If none of that works, I say send him off to boot camp.  There's a program in which at - risk youths go through the same training as the marines; I suggest you look into it.  Good luck, and I hope your son is back on track soon.

Answer 8

I used to be just like him, but if you punish him, you will just make him rebel more.

Start to take him away from that sort of thing but not too quickly.

You should try to not let him out so much, but don't tell him its because he is grounded, say its because you want to spend some time with him.

You should also try taking him on a trip or starting him on a collection, if he gets interested in something, he wont care about smoking and doing other bad things.

In school, try meeting with his teachers and buy him a planner. In that planner, require him to write down his assignments each day and then have each of his teachers sign it.

Try your best to not make this intervention into a punishment because then he wont comply with it.

You need to be very careful in doing this.

If you want, you could show him the above the influence website. It has an interactive section called the Sketch Pad and it shows and explains what happens to you when you do bad things.

I am 14 and used to be just like how you described your son,

its no way to let him live.

My parents punished me, and it got them no where, so above all remember not to make it seem like he is in trouble.

Good luck!

:)

- A

Answer 9

Sounds like a pretty normal teenager.  Not that I agree with pot and drinking but this does seem to be how teenagers are. What is the girlfriend doing that is so wrong.  You said that he doesn't do the pot and drinking when he is with her.  That sounds good?  Maybe you need to talk to your son about birth control.  You can not put all the the birth control on the girl it is a two way street.  You can not stop him from having s*x but if you give him the information and if you have to purchase condoms for him you might stop a pregnancy.

Answer 10

Wow that is a problem, 16 year olds are very hard to handle they think they know it all, maybe some counseling whether in school or church or other help, just give him your love and support and try to have talking sessions with him in case he wants to unload problems on you, just guide him in the right direction by being a loving parent. Good luck.