I have a 17 year old teenager, he refuses to go to school or get a job.?

Question

I have tried everything possible...

Answer 1

tell him he won't get into a single college because since he hasn't been in school and will bomb his SAT's. tell him he's setting himself up for failure. if he wants to become a sports star and thinks he doesn't have to go to school tell him he's wrong. he's won't get into a good school that has a good sports team so the talent scouts won't even look at him. he's just being a sullen teenager. sorry for being harsh, but he has to get a reality check

Answer 2

my brother is the samem way and my dad is having a hard time with him too. i just don't know what is going on with kids now days. i used to loved to go to school, a day with no scholl i'd be going crazy.

Answer 3

Show him the front door and tell him not to let it hit him in the butt on his way out.

Answer 4

Take him to a shrink.  He may be depressed.  At least they can find out what's going on with him.

Answer 5

Have you kicked his butt out to fend for himself? He may find its not as easy as it looks.

Answer 6

Call up your local soup kitchen and make a date to go down and volunteer there for a day with him.

It helps them out & gives him a glimpse of his future

Answer 7

call the police and have him escorted to school.  he needs to finish high school.  as for the job, i would say as long as he is still in school, its not necissary to get one, but i wouldnt give him any money either.

Answer 8

I think that an appropriate question for your som would be "why".  There may be a lot more going on than he is letting on and he may need someone to talk to.  Try creating a movie night for just the two of you and spending some one on one time together.  When his defenses are down, try informally talking to him and asking him open ended questions to get to the root of the problem.

Have you considered home study or homeschooling?  It is only a year and I think that you will be happy to made the investment.

Answer 9

Have you tried counseling? He may need it depression or panic attacks? Look into it talk to your doctor.

Answer 10

Honestly, you can legally get into trouble for him not going to school but if hes impossible Department of Social services will get involved. So take the hard line call them and get a pins petition. Especially if you have younger children. Good Luck!

Answer 11

Thjis is a really difficult situation. I feel for you. Do you think he may be on drugs? Does he have any friends or any interests?

Is there some reward that might give him incentive. If you finish this year out you would buy him something he is interested in that you can afford? Does he drive? Could you remove driving privileges until he improves.

Could you let him know that he can only live with you after 18 if he is working or in school?  

Have you checked out alternative schools. Some school districts have these schools for kids who are having trouble with regular schools. They are more lax about some of the rules. But kids can graduate from them with a highschool diploma. A lot of kids who have had substance abuse issues, or pregnant teens have used them. They have extra people to help them etc.

Can his father help out at all, encourage him in some way.

Ok, most important for last. I would pray (in Jesus name) and ask God to help your son and you. I'd ask for encouragement, and wisdom, and the right people and programs to help. I'd ask for your son to have a desire to work and do well.

Answer 12

Drugs might not have anything to do with it at all.

Im 17, and yes a girl, but this is my experience:

Last year at school I just hated everything, I got bored of the same old routine, I didn't want to work, and I found out the worst the teachers could do is give me attention or yell at me. So I started to yell back, I did not fear or respect them anymore.

My mum and dad took me to the polce station obbsessed that I was a junkie. I'm not a person to fall for peer pressure!!

So, the test came out negitive, and then they had nothing left.

I told them that I hated it, and everything was boring, and the teachers were always on my back, which i knew was my fault, but I didnt want to take the responsability.

Im not saying don't cross out drugs, but do please be aware there are so many other different reasons, they may just be as simple as this.

Fist time Ive ever told anyone this.

Thank you

Good Luck and give it time.

Kit

x x x

Answer 13

If he was my son - I would show him the front door, he is responsible enough to fend for himself.

If you cant show him the door, make rules like you don't cook, clean or do his washing.  Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind if you know what I mean.

I have a seventeen year old who attends college and works.

He has to begin to stand on his own two feet.

We love our kids - but at times they need a bloody shock to their system.  Good Luck.

Answer 14

kick him out when he 18 or  else encourage him to run away