I have a 17 yr old son, how can I keep him in school, when he DON'T want to be there?

Question

I have a 17 yr old son, how can I keep him in school, when he DON'T want to be there?

Answer 1

i only had to remind my son one time.  if you are not in

school get a job and pay all your own expenses,  including

rent on your room and a stipend for your food.

Answer 2

tell him tough and we don't always get what we want!!! You are the parent, you be the boss.  Don't allow him to determine his future now by dropping out of school

Answer 3

Ok, this is coming from a 14 year old, so I might be seeing this a little different from those who answered above me, and more from your son's POV

First of all, try finding out why he doesn't want to go. If it is too hard for him, or people are mean to him, make an appointment with a guidance counselor at the school to move him into easier classes or to discipline those who may be bullying him (bullying can happen to anyone, btw, regardless of gender or age- I know some pretty nasty girls who make guys think they like them, just so they can hurt them) If the school is uncoopertive, try online classes- they work pretty well for some people

Second, tell him his options. Discuss this calmly. Suggest he maybe repeat a grade. Also tell him that if he drops out, he will have to get a job, as you will not support him like a child if he does not get schooling like a child. Suggest a trade job to him (such as plumbing or being an electrician) those happen to pay EXTREMELY well. If possible, suggest going to a trade classes (they are offered at your community collage, more likely than not) so he can earn his way.

Third, make him understand that you are going to be behind him no matter what. Sometimes, kids my age feel like all their parents want to do is criticize, and yell at them. Take your son out to lunch one day, and just listen. Don't judge, listen. See what he has to say- it may open up your eyes to what he is feeling right now.

Fourth, this is his choice. like it or not, this is his life, and his he wants to mess it up, so be it. But try to guide him- not order him, bc if you do, he will drop out just to spite you

Answer 4

I am presently having trouble with BOTH of my teen sons attending school.  

My older son is autistic and despises going anywhere period.  If left up to him, he would never leave our apartment.  He just turned 18.  He is in his second year of 11th grade with no hope of receiving credit for this year, so it looks very much like he will repeat 11th grade AGAIN.  

His younger brother is also in 11th grade.  Now, there is nothing deficient about him, yet he has taken advantage of his older brother's behavior and skipped school so much that now the school has filed a complaint with the Juvenile Court system here in WA.  

His court hearing is next month.  I have done everything I could including changing my shift at work so that I could personally escort my boys to school every day.  So I actually asked the assistant vice principal to put my younger son's name at the top of the list for prosecution.  

He has to learn the consequences for his actions, and apparently, I have been remiss in teaching this very valuable lesson to him as of yet.  He is 16.  He has to be made to see how this is ruining his chance for choices later on in his life.

Answer 5

Tell him "FINE. If you don't want to stay in school, you can drop out and be a failure. You don't have your diploma so you can't get a job (or keep one, if he has one). You'll be on the street your entire life because face it, I won't support you. Stay in school or get out."

Answer 6

I think you mean "DOESN'T".

Answer 7

I agree that you need to talk to the school. Perhaps there is an alternative.

Answer 8

... No children WANTS to be in school. It seems to me he's at the age where he gets to choose whether he wants to throw his life away working at McDonald and Walmart for the rest of his life.

Answer 9

If he wants to drop out, make him start paying rent.  Take away his car and make him pay for it if he wants it.  Make him buy his own groceries. Tell him you'll only help him financially if he stays in school, otherwise he's on his own.

Answer 10

you cant, but you can alert the school that he isnt going so that you wont be liable for the fine when you get one. If he is skipping or whatever, call the truant officer when you know that he is and let them deal with him

Answer 11

kick him out of your house

Answer 12

You cant but you might entice him to finish by home schooling for a while to get him that ever important diploma.

Answer 13

don't let him to continue to live at home. if he isn't in school then he needs to get an apartment and a job. once he sees what its like working and paying bills he might change his mind about school.

Answer 14

Has he always hated school, or is this recent? WHY doesn't he want to be there? Is he not doing well in school? Is he not popular, and gets picked on? Teens can be very cruel, and I totally get how some things could make him never want to go back. Embarrassment and humiliation. Could he be having problems with a specific teacher? I stress all this first. Then, got to ask, has he been getting into drugs and drinking? Those kill motivation and the will to do anything. How is his behavior other wise? What does he want to do with his life? Is he confused and torn? He is in the stage of life where he is searching to know who he is, who he wants to be, and in reality who he can become. Its not easy. There are lots of pressures in teens lives these days, they grow up so much faster in some ways.

Is he a junior or a senior? If he is a senior try to stress how difficult life will be for him without a high school diploma, to just stick it out. Even if he doesnt have the grades for a great college, he can always start and a community college and then transfer. Once you're in college, high school doesnt matter anymore. College is nothing like high school. Maybe take him to a college for a visit. Set something up to show him the wonders of it all. Tell him how awsome dorm rooms can be :-D Tell him he can "put off" being an adult for a couple more years. If he is a junior maybe you can talk to the school about a school/work program. He only takes the essential high school courses, and works the other half the day, or could even take college courses at community college. My bestfriend did that her junior year, it worked wonders for her. College was more suited for her than high school. Maybe high school is boring him?

No easy answers, and in most states it is leagal for teens to drop out at 16. If you cant convince him to stay in school, either kick him out (kind of harsh imo), or start charging him for room and board. Tell him if hes not in school, full time job is required to stay in the house. Still try to get him to get his ged, and and talk to him about going to college. Maybe he just needs a break from it all.

He will always be your son. Love him, still try to guide him. His future is his decision. You wont always like the decisions your son makes, but he is just about an adult. I mean, he could join the armed forces. Maybe thats an option? If he doesn't know which way to go, it may help him discover who he is.

Answer 15

Have him read your question, then tell him that if he doesn't want to end up like you, he needs to stay in school.

People who go to school learn to communicate with other people in a way that does not draw criticism or critique.  They are able to ask questions that deserve answers.    They are able to read book about parenting and know the value of school.

Most importantly they learn that we all must do things that we do not like doing in order to survive.    Mankind in general would have preferred to lay in bed and watch the world go by, but that nagging feeling in the pit of the stomach said we need to get up and kill something, bring it home feed ourselves and our family and even though we don't want to do it.... survive.

Answer 16

Make sure he knows the consequences of dropping out of highschool later on in life.. Like not being able to make any more than minimum wage (if even possible to get a job without highscool).. Not being able to support a family.. Probably will have to live off of wellfare.. Etc.

Right now he probably just doesnt want to go because it seems like the cool thing to do. Try telling him what will happen the rest of your life. Without highschool you have no possibilites these days.