I have a 19 month old grandson, who started biting in his daycare. Any suggestions on positive disciplining ?

Question

His daycare put him in time out when he bit a little boy same age on the forehead, they let him out and he bit another little boy on the finger and drew blood. Now they told my daughter that they don't want him in day care tomorrow as punishment but he is not even 2-years old. This is the same daycare that my grandson was at when another little boy slammed his finger in the door and he went to the hospital and got 6 stitches because it all most took the end of his finger off. Any ideas on how we can stop the bad habit of biting other little kids in the daycare.

Answer 1

I'll agree with the previous two responses...Your best bet for a long term solution is to find another childcare provider.  A key indication that your current provider lacks the knowledge and experience to best facilitate your grandson's social and emotional development is the "punishment" they have prescribed.  

First of all, "time out" does little to regulate the compulsive behavior of a 19 month old toddler.  This little guy is working purely on impulse and without the language skills to navigate him through the social network of a classroom setting...biting and hitting are bound to occur. The part of brain that controls impulses has not yet developed. So the best strategy is circumvention combined with modeling appropriate ways to communicate.  Gradually your grandson will internalize these skills and socializing will no longer be a tragic issue.

It is encouraging to hear you use the term, "Positive Discipline" because it shows you have some understanding that discipline used in the wrong way can have a terribly dismal effect on the development of your grandson's self esteem. This fact is not to be underrated.

Once again, I highly recommend you locate a center that will take interest in your grandson's development and general well-being.

Answer 2

I'm a toddler teacher of nine children all like your grandson - in my opinion, what his center is doing is not acceptable. Rather than dealing with the issue, they're choosing to ignore it! When this problem arises with my children, observe what is causing the behavior. A child who bites usually has an extra eye on him at all times until the habit subsides - he's probably looking for attention! Give him lots and lots of love while he's behaving well, and when he bites ignore the behavior. If it continues, try giving him a pacifier to keep his mouth "distracted" (a sippycup or even a snack will do, also) Your poor grandson has no idea how dangerous this behavior is. From the sounds of it, his day care center is somewhat to blame. It's impossible to supervise every single child in a classroom at all times - but it's another story if they are being negligent. Good luck!

Answer 3

Alicia is right, and I'll add a bit: It's important to look at what's really going on. Behavior doesn't come from nowhere. Biting often comes from one or another of the following, and what response will be useful depends on which:

Anger/defense (You hurt me in some way - whether you meant to or not - or grabbed a toy from me, so I retaliate.)

Defense of space (you are closer to me than feels good to me.)

Teething (I really need to bite down hard on something to help get this tooth through - you'll do.)

Desire to make contact (I want to get your attention and engage with you but I don't know how.)

***

I can't say as I'm impressed with what I've read about this situation, and I suspect that the long-term solution is going to be to find a better care provider.