I have a 2 year old son who is very hyper and also violent, any ideas to help him?

Question

my son just turned 2. he's always been a really busy little boy, but over the past few months, he's gotten out of control. he gets really violent towards me, his dad, and especially his little sister. from throwing serious tantrums to just throwing everything in sight, i mean just really bad tantrums. he also gets really really hyper easily. he'll be calm then he'll suddenly just go wild and start throwing and screaming and running and different things like that. my husband and i have had some problems lately but i'm not sure if that is why he is acting like this or if he is just has a really bad case of the terrible 2's. any advice?

Answer 1

you may want to have his developement checked by a specialist. The tantrums you are talking about are not normal....but they are similar to the rages that my oldest son started getting around that age. He is now 12 and has to take medication for it. about 18 months ago we learned that he has pervasive developmental delay. PDD is on the autism spectrum, but does not have the right symptoms for any particular disorder such as asberger's or autism. Does your son talk? My oldest did not really say more than about 2 words til he was 22 months old....then he caught up over like a 3 month period, and even got ahead of his peers. My youngest has possible apraxia and only said about 10 words until he was almost 2.5 years old. He had tantrums because he was frustrated that he could not communicate.

your best bet is to take him to early intervention and be totally truthful about the things he is and is not doing. If he needs therapy they will make sure he gets the right kind. And when he is getting close to 3 years old they will arrange to screen him for free preschool through the local school system to continue therapy. the best part is that services through EI are not based on income (at least here in Ohio), but the needs of the child. I have not paid a penny for 6 months of speech therapy for my son AND he has recieved expensive sign language DVDs and the SLP is ordering him a bunch of other materials for free ( paid for by federal and local funds).

feel free to contact me if you want to.

Answer 2

It sounds like he just needs a way to release his energy.  Does he get a good amount of outside play time every day?  By a good amount, I mean at least an hour.  You could also try the bop bags, when he gets frustrated tell him he can do whatever he wants to the bop bag but he is not allowed to hit/throw things at anybody or anything.  Another idea is to give him a bunch of paper to crumple up.  Or you could tell him to jump up and down when he feels frustrated or clap his hands.  (I know this may sound odd, but I used to work with a very aggressive child and these things worked for him) Whatever you do, try your best not to yell at him when he does this, talk to him in a calm voice. This could be coming from the fact that you and your husband are having troubles, kids pick up on that really quick, even if they dont witness any arguing or anything like that.

Answer 3

he just wants antention, DON'T give it to him!!!

Answer 4

Put a shock collar on him.

Answer 5

Could be a bit of both.

Children are very sensitive and can pick up on distress in the home, even if you're trying to keep it quiet.  Kids know.  Acting out may be your son's reaction to it.

That said, two year olds pitch tantrums.  That's why they call it the 'terrible two's"  Sometimes, the best way to deal with those tantrums is to ignore it (assuming it's safe and feisable to do that.)  Reacting to the tantrum can be reinforcing the behavior.  The child got what he wanted: Your attention.  

But don't underestimate the effect that trouble between Mom and Dad can have on young children!

Answer 6

re the hyperactivity, have you noticed that a certain food or drink sets him off? possibly keep a log of his tantrums for a clue.

when he is violen towards you or your husband, hold him still and tell him you love him and he needs to stop

if he throws something that belongs to him, take it away for a day and tell him he can have it back when he won't throw it anymore.

if its just a tantrum like laying on the floor and screaming, tell him he is not going to pay attention to him and stick to it.

good luck to you

Answer 7

Diet explains a lot--but not always everything. He's at the age where he has ability but not understanding and control. So you have to (after you have made sure his diet is good) find things to keep him busy. He probably still needs quiet time (if he won't nap) during the day which will help him from getting too hyper. If a child gets too tired they get hyper--rather than dragging around like you might think her would. You might consider moving up his bedtime also. If he is having a hard time getting enough sleep that will effect his ability to behave during the day.

At this stage try helping him express his feelings. Sometimes the frusteration that causes the hyper activity and the violence is a lack of ability to communicate. Keep it simple--teach simple words to express how he feels and then simple ways to say why--i.e. I feel mad. I feel mad because sister took my toy...something like that.

you might also try making sure he gets outside and works off some of his energy before quiet time. This might help too....And when he has his tantrums just stay calm. Explain what you want from him and don't be afraid to use time outs or taking away special toys or privileges. Time outs for kids should be only a minute per year of age--so 2 minutes for a 2 year old. If time outs don't work then take away his special toy or tv time--whichever he cares about most. Make sure if you do you explain why it's happening. This is when you get to teach cause and effect. Two year olds are really smart--you just get to help guide them through this frustrating time when they can do so much but can't communicate or control themselves yet. Good luck!

Answer 8

this is the beginning of parenting and discipline. It is time for Time outs and consistancy. This is a link to site that I did a course in parenting. It is brilliant and I highly recommend it

Answer 9

there may be lots of ways to work on this issue - but one of them would be looking at his diet.

Look at what he is eating and cut out high sugar, highly processed foods - you may need to do some research into what food additives are known to cause problems.

Some children even react to the high sugar content in fruit (even though they are natural sugars it can still spin them out if they are susceptible to sugar).