I have a 3 year old daughter and she refuses to go to the bathroom.

Question

I have a daughter who is 3 years old, and refuses to make a bowel movement. As in, she has held it in for 4 days, and gets a stomach ache, cries, but refuses to go. I brought her to the doctor thinking something was wrong, and he gave us medicine. She went to the bathroom, but than the next day, she refused to go so I realized its her holding it in. I hate to see her in pain, and I don't know why she is doing this. Any suggestions? Or has this happened to anyone else with a child? I don't want her truly getting sick.

I don't know if this has to do with anything, but last weekend she went in her diaper, but some got on the floor and I got a little upset with her. But than I told her it was allright, it was just an accident. So I hope this doesn't have to do with her not wanting to go. She went after the accident, but than started not wanting to go a few days after.

Answer 1

Now is the time to start potty training. Try asking her why she doesn't want to, nice and calmly. Then explain to her why she is wrong and that pooping is OK.

Answer 2

It is time to potty train her. Get her a little potty and some kind of prize and tell her every time she goes on the potty she gets a prize. For my daughter we gave her a sticker that she could stick to the potty.

Answer 3

you should try to communicate with her and ask here what is the problem. and if she is sad becuz u got upset with her, u should apologize and explain to her that it was accident.  

Answer 4

ummm well maybe you could sit her down and tell her how important it is to go

or maybe you could give her an example...kids like to follow their parents

Answer 5

It's probably PAINFUL for her...

Get her a stool softener... OTC or consult your doctor.

Answer 6

tell her to take a p**s god d**n it

Answer 7

Make a deal with her. tell her you will read her favorite story to her if she goes, or maybe a small treat. or tell her somthing you don't want to do but you still have to. i hope this helped! ♥

Answer 8

it could be the accident shes not reassured that going p**p is the right thing to do or that by doing it shes being a good girl so she scared to go..just keep telling her its ok and reassuring her maybe make a game of it...tell her that both you and daddy do it and everyone else does it to because it feels good and its good for her body

Answer 9

You need to find a method of positive reinforcement.  It is not easy because children to not always respond to the same things. Some examples I have seen work are praise and hugs, a favorite song is played.  My sister just gave her kid candy as a reward lol.  It sounds bad, but it was just an M&M or two so it worked out.  

Try to think about what would work to specifically cater to your child's personality.  

Go slow.  The problem doesn't need to be solved right away.  Don't get frustrated if it takes time.  

Answer 10

i eat p**p?

maybe that is what she is doing?

Answer 11

It could be that she is constipated and it hurts to go.  Next time she does go look at it...it is hard, little balls?  If so, get a stool softner or ask your pediatrician if they can recommend something.  If after that she still refuses to go, it could be a power play on your daughter's part.  There is only so long that she can hold it and then she won't be able to anymore.  I am thinking it will fix itself.

Answer 12

I'm sorry but is she "slow?" Because I don't understand why a 3 year old would still be wearing a diaper.

Answer 13

it could be a reaction to something traumatic, or stressful,, if thats the case, its no big deal.   for example, i went to boot camp at 18, and my first 8 or 9 days there , i couldn't go c**p. and it wasn't just me, several other guys in my platoon said the same thing.  we were all eating right, and for me, i knew i had to go, but it just wouldn't happen. it wasn't till i was more used to the stressful environment, then i went in there, and took a big old c**p, after like the 10th day. everything worked fine after that

Answer 14

get her the kando program. the kid gets to put stickers on each time they use the restroom. its wipes but it comes with a sticker progam which worked on my lil brother i hope i helped...also buy like a little prize and keep it up some where and she only gets it if she uses the restroom. or but a bell in and have her ring the bell when evere she uses the restroom. make it fun so she will want to go :)

Answer 15

hey liz,

At the age of 3 kids can definitely feel the sense of disapproval, however most kids don't hold onto that disapproval until you repeatedly discipline them. If you scolded her only once then, then the best thing to do is to draw her attention away from having to go to the bathroom first and help her forget that going to the bathroom is a problem.

Im sure you have done this, but I would makes sure the doctor checks her out and confirms that this is a choice of hers rather than some internal issues.

If it's a choice of her just refusing to go to the bathroom, try taking her to the park to play, or anywhere that is outside home and fun. Often times kids associate negatives with more negatives. If she remembers you scolding her in that bathroom, whenever she goes to the same bathroom she'll be reminded of it. Let her use a bathroom outside of home.

I would continue using the doctors medications, but take her out to various places to play and use the bathroom. Once she gets the feeling of approval from you and forgets her negative experiences in the bathroom, I'm sure you're daughter will ease up.

Also you can try to disguise the issue by trying to make her think the bathroom is a game. I would even find a funn picture book to show her when shes in the bathroom. Taking a bath might also be relaxing and help. The more fun she has, i think the more likely she'll start using the bathroom.

I really hope she gets better.

Answer 16

like da person above mii said whoop her she should be usin tha bathroom not holdin it in  

Answer 17

I think you need to talk her through it, and help her.

Tell her its ok to use the bathroom.

And try to find out what is the cause of the sudden fear of using the bathroom.

Answer 18

Do this...

Tell her that if she does not go to the potty then she will not get to play with her favorite toy or have a snack. Give her a reward when she does go potty.

Hope it helps,

good luck

Answer 19

Talk to a doctor about a laxative that is safe for her.  She cannot hold it in forever, and the laxative will force her to go.  Accidents will happen, and try not to get upset with her.  She doesn't do it on purpose.

Answer 20

eww

Answer 21

give her some x lax in her mac and cheese

Answer 22

Very many parents have this problem with their children. They have all tried everything in the book, but here's where the problem lies.

Believe it or not, they are holding it in because it's THE only thing in their lives that they can control. Apart from when they pee and p**p, YOU decide everything else for them. That's what a specialist told me anyway (and in our case, it was true)

So, take it easy on her. Have her decide what she should wear, what to play, where to go, things like that. Give her control for one day and see what happens. If she feels more relaxed, she might let it out. Now I am not suggesting that you let her rule the roost, and you can't let her find out what you are doing, or it will backfire.

You can also add more fiber to her diet. Add in raisins, raisin bran, things like that. Steer clear of cheese for a few days. Give her yogurt instead.

Answer 23

All children are scared of the number 2.  My little boy is potty trained but when it comes to the number 2 he runs around in a circle as if something is trying to get him he looks so scared.. All I do is sit with him holding him while he goes on the potty. Hope this helps