I have a 6 yr old son who does'nt listen to nothing unless i yell?

Question

needing some hard advice!!!!!! i have a son who acts out in alot of ways from school to home to visiting others home,he always gets sent home for some outburst he has had ,,fighting,,talking back,,argueing with other kids,,and other weird behaviours.... i have brought him to the doctors and workers for help,,but i get the same old thing,,he is normal,,,and one thing that bothers me is when i walk by him to tell him to do his chores he hides his head like im gonna smack him and in front of friends and family and i dont hit my son ,,i send him to corners or i put more chores on him or send him to bed really early,,and he lies about home and bout me,,,is this normal for a kid to do this to his mom,,,im starting to think he does not like me or love me for being his mom,,,i have three children one is a girl 11,,my other son he is younger and he is 2,,and i have no problems with them,,i would like some advice from only a mother exsperiment please,,i would love to get advice on how i can go on bout handling this in a proper way

Answer 1

what came to me right away was someone is abusing him. if you dont snack him, who does. why would he be scared of you if you dont do that. i have had many foster children and they would run, hide, turn away like i am going to hurt them. thats what they were used too. or does he go non stop. has he been checked for ADD. i would try to i would maybe see therapist also. i would get a second opinion too, you cant be to safe when it comes to your kids. and who knows him better than you. i know of course you are seeking answers, but you know something is not right so i would keep going until you find the answer. all kids "hate" their parents at some point but i feel 6 is too young to start that on a daily basis. good luck to you

Answer 2

He might have ADD. My cousin has it and he is about the same age he has all of the same symptoms yours has. Go to a different doctor.  

Answer 3

Maybe he feels you dont spend quality time with him. Heres an idea that i have. My son isnt that old yet he is only 8 months but this is what id do... Schedule an evening out with your son, without the ohter kids, just the 2 of you. Make sure on like a Tuesday or Wednesday you ask him if he minds if yall go do something on Friday nite. Then take him out to on of his favorite restuarants and ell him how you feel that he doesnt love you because you are his mother. See what he has to say about it. Ask him what you could do differently when it comes to parenting that he would prefer. Maybe he feels that you treat him unfairly. Ask him when he behaves unexcusably what punishment does he think he should receive for specific actions. Ask for example, " When you get in trouble at school for fighting what should i do about it when you get home?" Hopefully I was Helpful to you. Good Luck.

Answer 4

I've had issues with my 2 younger children-a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old girl.  They just ignore me, and I keep repeating myself, until I'm yelling and angry.  They yell back at me (yes, even my 2 year old).  A friend of mine told me to try whispering.  This works so well with my 2 year old.  When she's screaming, I wait for her to take a breath, and whisper, "Mandie".  Sometimes I have to repeat it a couple times, but usually the whisper is odd enough to make her pause to see what's going on.  When I yell, I just get more mad, and feel like spanking or hitting them to get my point across.  But whispering calms me down so much, and distracts the child.

I would also suggest taking your child to a licensed psychologist.  Something's causing him to act out, and now's a good time to fix it, before he gets to be a teenager and is bigger than you!

Good luck!

Answer 5

A whoopin wouldnt kill him you know

Answer 6

Stop yelling. Start whispering.So he has to be quiet to hear you, he should mind you because you told him to. Don't let him control your house, making you yell and act in any way that can adversely affect your whole household. If he doesn't mind you, then physically make him perform the bahavior you want. If you need him to clean his room, then TELL him once. If he disobeys, them walk over to him and stand him up and show him by moving his arms and hands, that he will do whatever you said(for example: picking up clothes or toys opening and closing his hands on the objects if he won't do it himself), until the room is clean. There is no choice here. Only your way is allowed. When he is set down for a timeout, then you make sure he stays there physically. If he gets sent home from school, then he needs to have a consequence from you like a week with no electronics. Also something my mom did was if we were sent home for any reason (including illness real or imagined) We were confined to a small space like the desk in the living room or our bed the entire time without any form of entertainment. If it was for bad behavior, then we would have to do triple the assignments our teacher doled out. When we were done, mom would check that they were correct, then dispose of them . She said if we wasted her time and the schools time, then she would gladly waste ours. It worked for four children.  As for the reaction like you are going to smack him, I would pay attention next time to see if it looks like a reflex action or a fake one. If it looks like a reflex, then maybe you should look at the people you allow him to be around. Someone may be hitting him, even if it isn't you and you don't know about it. If it looks fake, then start telling lies to his father about his behavior. When he gets upset by it, then tell him that the acting like you hit him is a lie too, and that as long as he does it, you will keep telling lies about him to the people who love him (including grandma, granpa, and any aunts or uncles). It really does work if you stick with it.

Answer 7

That sounds quite difficult and hard to deal with.

However, can I ask whether you have any sincere family time with the kids together and alone time with each?

Maybe you should try to be his friend a bit and slowly wean the discipline in as well. Spend some time with him. Take him shopping and have him pick a toy, book or something and something small for his siblings, or even a board game for the whole family?

Not sure if you have tried that but maybe another try would not hurt?

Answer 8

try when you talk to him to look him eye to eye let him no that you are serious by using a firm voice and don't yell as much. and than when you are around the people he has told lies about you with to regain your good mother reputation be very patient loving and caring towards all of your kids so they know that you aren't a bad mom that it was just a boy with a loud imagination.

Answer 9

He is acting up to get your attention. You have two other children who he thinks have just been soaking up attention. He is just doing all that to get attention, which is negative. To get hi out of this habbit i would punish him by sending him to his room, taking something he enjoys a lot from him until he can be respectful, or giving him a talk about why what he did isn't okay. then, when he tries to do the right thing make sure you give him praise and attention. It's normal, but it's also definitely not good.

Btw. when he turns his head again you can ask him in a sweet voice "What's wrong honey? Something hurt you?" It will tell others who are watching that he is acting up.

Chores are good, but it doesn't reeally teach them that much and after a while you're not going to be watching him that much anyway. Make sure that your other older kids act appropriately to give him a good impression.

I actually worked with this little boy who sounds a lot like your son. He was just very active, but his mom helped him to do stuff like the other kids. Maybe you should enroll him in a sport or activity so he can get all that energy out. He would have fun and he probably wouldn't get in as many fights. When he talks back to his teachers or you say things like "That is not okay!" or "Go to your room and think about your behavior!" Make it clear to him that you are not happy wqith what he is doing and be sure to praise him when he bahves. :) Good luck!

Answer 10

don't worry it is normal just other kids get more insurcure at different ages and some are worst than others! what i done with my nephew whenn his mother died is talked about straiges with the teacher like rewards and disipline.

now i don't mean hitting your  child but the school and your self working to erase this behaviour!

i done it by filling up his agenda such as putting him into sports and other activities, reward charts, and chores!

when the child is being disruptive he should get a warning, after the 2nd warning get down to his level even if he's not looking at you and tell him what you don't like either send him to a place with no toys by himself and put him down a level on the reward chart or make a naughty spot and take away eg. Sleepover this weekend, sport game!

the child should be on the naughty spot or in the naughty room for his age in time such as 6yr old = 6 miniutes. and do the same thing at school but not completely in front of the class as he will get too embrassed which could turn into something else! i hope i could help!

Answer 11

i think something is wrong try another dr.  

Answer 12

well i think you should do is look them strait  in the eye and speak to them clear.and dont tske no fore and anwser. you need to tell them with athoraty. and he love you really bad. thats only if you give him somthing then he likes you but when he dont he hates you. so you need to lay down the law. and it doesnt hert to disaplin your kids.

Answer 13

I have 3 children age 12 son 10 daughter and 21 months son. My daughter is so awful and nasty most days. She lies she screams stomps hits things. I honestly hate dealing with her i can't get her to listen. I wish i had answers there are days i hate being her mom. She has had a mental health doctor from age of 6 things only get worse every year. I don't know why my older son is nothing like her. I can't stand when people act like it's my fault she is a total brat. I have another kid who don't act like that so how is it my fault. I've tried EVERYTHING no sugar no caffine watching dyes in food scheduals structure she chooses to cause trouble.

Answer 14

I would suggest seeing a licensed psychologist for a comprehensive evaluation.  Do you provide positive reinforcement for his good behaviors?  Has he ever been abused by anyone else?  There are a lot of things that could cause those types of behavior.  I don't think you'll get the answers you're looking for on here.  You need a face to face assessment with someone who can see your son and make recommendations and really help you.