I have a 7-year-old daughter who all of sudden is afraid to be with her father.

Question

Her fear of being with him has just shown up within the last month or so. She has not told me about anything particular she is afraid of just that she does not want to go on her week-end court ordered visits with him. My concern is this: I was just told by my friend that last month she caught my daughter naked from the waist down lying on top of her son who was also naked from the waist down. She stated she just thought it was kids being kids but decided she should tell me after I told her about my daughter not wanting to be with her father. I then began to talk with my friend who reported that even her father was abusing her sexually because my daughter is active in sports if her hymen is torn or no longer present this can be explained by her active lifestyle.

QUESTION: Has anyone ever heard about a child rupturing her hymen from playing soccer??

Answer 1

Maybe he did something to her!

Answer 2

It could happen, but I would not judge whether or not she was being sexually abused by her hymen alone. Take her to the doctor, call the court and say that you are not trying to be crazy but you think her father may be abusing her and ask for emergency measures to be taken for her protection and for her to not see him anymore. Talk to her and ask her if her father is touching her in her private areas and such. This is important, and her acting like she's having s*x with your friend's son is a sign that she is either being abused or exposed to sexual behaviors, because she would not know to do anything like that otherwise, and both situations are unacceptable.  

Answer 3

coming from a person who was molested as a child:  get her to a psychiatrist fast.  they have ways of getting a child to talk when a parent is unable to (and you can be there and be part of the whole thing).

and get her to her pediatrician fast too.  even if her hymen isn't broken, if he is molesting her (also rubbing his parts on hers), he could give her an STD, and if she has one, then you'll have your answer.

PLEASE don't delay on this.  i wish my mother had paid attention to the signs, but she just thought we just didn't like going to our sitter's house (her husband was the molester) because she was strict.

p.s.  i have heard that sports and other rough play can cause the hymen to break, but not sure if it would in a child that young....

Answer 4

it can happen.  Little girls can rupture it from riding a bike, playing rough, etc. But these are not signs to be ignored at all! I would take it very seriously that she is afraid of her father.  It's really common for children to re-enact what has happened to them as well.  TALK to her.  Get her to tell you what she is afraid of.  I'd talk to child psychologist to.  It's too important, this can't be ignored.

Answer 5

you should immediately talk to a child psychologist, what are you waiting for? here is a very good place to ask about not very important issues, but not issues like that. Nobody can help your daughter here. good luck

Answer 6

Oh my, I would really be concerned.  Something is not right.  Contact your lawyer or the courts to keep her from going to her dad's for now, until things are sorted out.  Ask your daughter questions, begin by saying you will NOT be mad at what she tells you and that you love her.  Also, don't put thoughts in her head, let her explain with her own words.  If your daughter has been to father's house within the last 72 hours I would have a rape kit exam done on her right away!

Yes, hymen can be broken from being active, but I think people that are REALLY active like Olympic gymnasts not just from playing a little soccer in high school.

I must add I am a little confused, can you please clarify the last few sentences you wrote?

Answer 7

Well before you jump to conclusions you need to either try to encourage your Daughter to talk to you somehow and if she won't then I would consider taking her to a psychologist. She may be more willing to open up to someone she doesn't know versus you. I would be worried to death about her going back to your ex's. The whole naked thing might be curiosity and then again it may be more. I think too if you are that concerned you might let your Daughter know what will have to be done if she doesn't tell you what is going on- let her know that she will need to go to the doctor and talk to someone.

It sounds too fishy to me and I think you need to go on your Momma instincts here or you will never be able to forgive yourself if there is something going on. Do you trust this man? Has he given you any indications of mistrust? I would also call the police and let them know that you do suspect something and you need to keep her away from her Father until things get settled.

You can also make up some excuse like she is sick or you have something really special planned and ask if you can switch weeks until you can get things figured out. It will atleast bide you some time.

I just hope and pray nothing happened and it is just something simple that can be solved for your Daughter's sake. Get answers soon. Don't let this continue on.

Could it be someone else that is abusing her or making her feel uncomfortable like this boy you mentioned.

Answer 8

"The hymen is also not an indicator of virginity. The tissues of the v***a are generally very thin and delicate prior to puberty, so many girls and teens tear or dilate their hymen while participating in sports like bicycling, horseback riding, gymnastics or while inserting tampons. A girl may not even know this has occurred, since there may be little or no blood or pain involved when this happens. Remnants of the hymen are usually still present until a woman delivers a baby vaginally."

http://www.livestrong.com/article/12449-...

if shes afraid, take her to the doctor. there is generally a reason, and if shes half naked with ANYONE she should go to the doctor, and you should suspend any visitations until the matter is resolved.