I have a 7 year old son that is going through a attitude stage.?

Question

After asking him to help out around the house, or just telling him to be have in general. He'll ask why, and I say because I said so. Then he'll make a face and talk back. What type of punishment is approciate for this stage. I've already taking away his game sysytems. And grounded him from playing with his friends. But it doesn't seem to change his attidude. Any suggestions from parent's going through this same stage with their kids?

Answer 1

This is a normal stage. My 8yr old daughter is doing this now. It is really annoying too. I too have said "Because I say so" after so many whys.

I honestly do explain why to my kids though. I had a friend tell me about how her son kept playing her stamps. They are the peel off kind and he thought they were stickers. She'd try everything and he still got into them when she wasn't looking. Once she took the time to explain what they were he stopped.

We homeschool and I expect my kids to help out TONS around the house. When they ask why I tell them that since we have school at home they need to help out with the housework. Plus we are family and we all live here together. It is our job to make it look nice. (Our house is very messy by the way. lol)

Also I have made up a chart by the computer that says: NO COMPUTER TIME TILL : (then I list chores like bedroom is clean, trash picked up around the livingroom, toys put away, bathroom clean & so on) They are not allowed to play a computer game till all of those are done.

Also I've gone as far as to say "I want your daddy to come home to a clean house. He worked hard all day and he shouldn't come home to find a messy house." Which I believe is true even though other may find old fashion thinking. I've told them how hard their dad works for us and how I take the time to teach them at home that we need to work together to make our home a nice place to live.

Next time try to be honest with your son. When he asks "WHY" he must set the table or something tell him why. You may want to say "Because I've been standing here cooking supper for you and your dad for a long time now. I'm tired. I need to keep stirring this pasta so it won't burn. Can you help me out and set the table please?" If he complains again then when it time to eat then just don't set him a place to sit. Tell him you just to tired to finish putting out the plates. lol He'll catch on.

Answer 2

He needs an attitude adjustment.

Place child over your knee and give him acouple of

well placed smacks to his bottom.

Repeat as needed until attitude changes.

Answer 3

As in so many situations, I find that a Bible based solution tends to work best:

Deuteronomy 21:18-21



"If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;

And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.

And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear."

Praise!

Answer 4

when he asks why, try your best not to give the famous "because I said so" line.  It really isn't telling him anything other than you are the boss and he doesnt deserve an explanation.  Explain to him the importance of doing chores and that everyone has to help out.  Maybe you could try a chore chart. make a weekly chart and give him a star for each chore he accomplishes. At the end of the week, he gets a prize. Out for ice cream, rent a movie, play a game, or if he has had stuff taken away, let him trade his stars for one of his items back. If he gets an attitude during the week, he loses a star.  My son always tried to get as many stars as possible and negotiate whatever it was he thought he wanted to win that week lol.

Answer 5

I have 2 suggestions, Search out Love and Logic Parenting online, It is great. And also, there will always be one thing they can't do without. I taught elem school for years, and  we just kept at it until we found what they really can't stand to have taken away.   Good luck

Answer 6

Any 7 yr old would rather play than do housework.Just explain you need a little help, that you are not his servant, and if he makes a mess, it is his responsibility to clean it up.

Answer 7

I totally agree with Wendy b about "Love and Logic" as it is VERY effective.

Further, as Dr. Phil often says, "Every child has his currency," meaning there is something that motivates every kid.  If you find out what that is, then you can use it to decide what to do with your child.

I, too, was an elementary school teacher for 30 years. While there are a number of effective 'punishments'--IMHO the best ones are those that fit the misbehavior.  So, if he makes a face at you, then I would put him in time out for 1 minute of each year of age...so for him, 7 minutes.  This always worked on me as a child!  But, I couldn't talk to anyone or do anything while in time out.  I usually had to sit in a living room chair, and it was especially hard to be able to see things going on in the dining room, kitchen, and family room in which I could not participate.

Best wishes to you!  Supernanny Jo Frost has a great technique in having kids help to make the rules.  At the same time, have them choose consequences for not following them.  You may be surprised at how tough they are on themselves.

And, the absolute BEST thing you can do, IMHO, is to be consistently consistent!  Always enforce the rules, and NEVER knowingly allow misbehavior to go unnoticed.  It helps to be specific about what you want from him, like:  "Please pick up your toys and put them in their places."  Of course, each toy has to have a place for this to work.  If the toys are NOT put away, it seems appropriate for them to go to limbo (i.e., a well-hidden place) for a day or two.

Best wishes, and it wouldn't hurt to check with your school counselor, teachers, and principal.  Sometimes they have lending materials to help parents. Hang in there and be strong, so that your child learns the tough lessons now--before  making faces at his boss and being sassy get him fired!