I have a baby with my boyfriend and he wants to Join the Military?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have a two month old baby and he wants to join either the Coast Guard or the Navy. Do we have to get married? We are planning to get married in the future but is it necessary for him to join?

Answer 1

You would have to get married to him to get any beneifts , plus he would get paid alittle more if he is hitched. If you do get hitched then you get all the health benefits, BAH pay, etc... He doesn't have to get married just as long as your kid has one of you or someone to take care of him/her. But you will not have the same health benefits and moving to where he is stationed is all on your dime.

Answer 2

Do not get married because you have a baby together or because he is getting in the military. Those marriages do not last. In fact brochures are there in most installations on reasons not to get married to  somebody in the military.

It is not necessary for him to join, but he realized he is now a father and needs to be responsible and provide for his family. He is making an adult responsible choice.

Answer 3

It's not necessary, but IF you are already planning on it, go ahead, it will make the process much easier. As a g/f fiance you have no rights but as a wife you will be able to live on post and are entitled to health care and other benis.  

Answer 4

You need to get married so the child and you can have Tricare coverage, and stop making the child be a b*****d too.

Answer 5

It's not necessary for him to join, but you and the baby's life would be much better if you were married.  I'm not saying this from a moral standpoint, but more from the point that you and the baby would be much better off if you guys were married.  If not, your baby would be okay but you'd be treated like a second-class citizen when it comes to health care, housing, and other necessities.  

In other words, get married.

Answer 6

he cannot enlist as things stand now.. he is a single parent.  his only options are to get married or to get a court order stating he has zero custody whatsoever of the child.  he will also need a second court order requiring him to pay child support if the baby is to get any benefits at all.  

you are entitled to none at this point.  

Answer 7

if you get married you can live on base basicly free its a smarter thing to do

Answer 8

You don't have to but it is HIGHLY suggested as you will get ALOT more benefits as well as your child.

Answer 9

Unless you two are married you will receive NO military benefits (health care, dental, recognition that you exist, etc). Your baby would receive health care, dental, & recognition as a dependent. Suggestion - if you two are planning on getting married anyways... Do it before he leaves for basic. That way you can be covered by health care, dental, you'll be a dependent & have a dependent ID. You'll be able to move with him when he gets to his first duty station.

Answer 10

In short, he would require a dependency waiver in order to get in.  Waivers are not guaranteed. If the waiver is not granted, it might be just as easy to get married then once he's in, get an annulment.  You can always get married again.  Or stay married.  Sure it's been mentioned that the odds are not in your favor in staying married but then who knows?  Yours could work out just fine.  As a spouse of a military person, just remember to keep an open mind and be flexible.    

The following is directly from the Navy Recruiting Manual.  

COMNAVCRUITCOMINST 1130.8F

2G-4 Eligibility

a. Applicants with no dependents are eligible to enlist.

b. Married applicants with one dependent are eligible to enlist unless they are disqualified based on the provisions of the Enlistee Financial Statement. Married applicants with more than one dependent require a waiver to be eligible for enlistment. Note: Because of the difficulties encountered by personnel of lower paygrades in the areas of subsistence, housing, shipment of household effects, etc., do

not encourage married applicants with more than one dependent to enlist in paygrade E-1 through E-4, if they are not otherwise restricted from enlisting by this paragraph.

c. Unmarried applicants who have dependents, but who do not have custody of the dependents, are considered eligible for enlistment or reenlistment, with regard to dependency, only as follows:

(1) Applicant may not have more than one dependent or be contributing to the financial support of more than one individual/dependent to enlist without a waiver. Unmarried applicants with three or more dependents are not eligible to enlist, no waivers authorized. Members who reenlist with continuous service do not fall within this group unless separated for dependency or hardship reasons, but must comply with MILPERSMAN Article 1160-030.

(2) Definite legal custody of the dependent has been awarded to a former spouse, parent, or another adult and such transfer is documented by an order of a court of competent jurisdiction. See paragraph 2G-6 for custody determination procedures.

d. Custody Determinations

(2) Father of Child Born Out of Wedlock. If the applicant does not have legal custody of the child, he is eligible for enlistment. The problem is making the determination of whether or not he has custody. In general, courts still apply the old rule that custody of an illegitimate child resides with the natural mother. If such is the case and no one acted in any way to bring custody into question, the father does not need a court order showing he does not have custody. However, this rule varies, not only from state to state, but from case to case depending upon the facts. In order to get the child(ren) dependent benefits, there must be court order requiring financial support for the child(ren).

Answer 11

Military marriages don't last from what I saw when I was in the Marines.  Almost every single married guy I ever had in my unit, cheated on his wife.  And quite frankly, I think most of the wives were cheating too.

I would make sure your relationship is VERY strong.  And when I say VERY strong, think about when your man is thousands of miles away with other single men, and they're all drinking and going home with women.....Will your man last?

Regardless, good luck.

Answer 12

If you want to live on base together you must be married.  If you are worried about health insurance your child's able to get on his insurance even if you are not married...if you're married when he goes in there are some perks to this....I know this since my hubby and I were married only 2 months before he went in, we had gotten pregnant on our honeymoon.  It is a difficult way to start a life together since you will be a "single mother" for his time in boot camp and AIT (his specialized training).  The benefits are great, the pay increases faster than it would in the civilian world....my husband learned a trade in 3 months for free which would have costs thousands of dollars and he can make great money once he finishes his 3.5 years as a civilian and we can keep the benefits and all the time goes to a federal pension...not to mention the new GI bill lets ANY family member use the college fund, you, your child or your husband....you will also have a lot of support by the military support services even if you are not on a post.   Let me know if you have other questions.