I have a bossy boss reposted??

Question

the owner of the place i ride at, orchard end equestrian center, is a big cow and i have to do all the work nearly she only has 2 people working and the rest of us, Me, a 12 year old girl and a 14 y.o girl, a 15 year old and occasionally 2, 16 yearolds and an 18 year old.

but somtimes its only 3 of us me and the 12 and the 14 year olds in the list above

I own my own horse and the 12y.o leases a horse so she cant back talk or anything because she is trying to buy the pony off her but she is being a cow. there are tonnes of other people who ride there all the adults and there kids, they are in the owners "group" and there kids or them dont do any work at all, they just drink tea all day and ride for as long as they like.

all "the girls," have to feed up and all that, we ride until the owner comes down and says "ok u can go up now and Hit the stables", me and my friends want to hit her SOOO badly. and every day we seem to do something wrong and she kinda yells at us, we just cant meet her standards.

she treats me like i am leasing one of her horses and she rules over us.

is this free labour?? what should i do apart from yelling my head off ans swearing her to death

22 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.

Additional Details

21 hours ago

oh i dont actually work for her at all sorry, i just own a horse on her property.

she just uses me for work

sorry about the part with the numbers.

She has 2 actual emplyees, and the rest of us are just boarders.

and NO im not working for my board or volunteering. and not pony thingo either

Answer 1

Plan and simply move!  If you confront her she may take it out on your horse.  I would say sorry can't help today only have so much time and ride and enjoy, and keep looking.

Answer 2

if your paying to keep your horse there then why are you doing ANY work? it's your responsibility to clean up after your own horse and nobody elses unless thats in the agistment contract. tell her that, and if she gets angry then move properties, she sounds like she'll be a pain in the *** either way, so why not move? good luck!!

p.s. dont hit her!!!! (move properties then egg her house or something)

Answer 3

ummmm - JUST SAY NO

Stop the drama and simply don't do it.

But if you are hanging around the barn all day ...yup she is going to ask you to DO SOMETHING.

Something other than possibly over riding your horse...

Sounds like she feels you need supervision (actually some insurance states that kids under 18 CANNOT ride unsupervised)

She is not running a day care nor should she be expected to supervise you all day for free.

As a boarder you pay for Horse food and shelter - not for a place for YOU to do whatever you want.

Why was this reposted?

Answer 4

Ok here is my thoughts in the matter. If your paying for your horses stalls to be cleaned, them to be fed. then no you shouldnt be doing anything. and you dont actualy say what she makes you do so I cant realy give you a honest answer. at my stable we are required to pick up the p**p in the areana if are horse poops, we have to water down teh areana so they can till it, and we have to sweep the isle ways. I find this pretty fair especialy since we/are horses are the ones who amke the mess. but like i said i dont know exactly what you have to do.

Answer 5

Well, if you are paying to board your horse there on a full care contract, then full care should then be provided by the stable.  You should not have to feed your horse, much less anyone else's, or do barn work without volunteering to do it.

I do think that in general, plenty of barns do get 'free labor' so to speak in terms of how people deal with their horses.  Some barns only provide once a day cleaning, so often times, you will see a boarder muck out a stall or a paddock in the evening just so it's clean until the next morning.  I know I do it.

But that said, if you are upset with how you're being treated, read your boarders contract, find out if you have to give your 30 days notice, and leave.  Nothing is keeping you there and having to put up with that kind of an attitude with a barn owner.  If you feel like you are being treated unfairly, then get the barn owner where it hurts -- the pocketbook.  You're fully within your rights as a paying customer to refuse to be used as free labor.  By leaving, you free yourself from that situation.

Alternatively, you could have your parents talk to her, particularly since they were most likely the ones that signed the boarding contract (being as you are a minor, yes?) but in my opinion, I'd give my 30 days, and take off.  That's making more of a statement in my mind, than just telling the owner "No"

BTW, I do hope you have a boarding contract.  Do check it, and see if it says anything in there about you having to do any work.  If you don't have a contract, I'd run -- not walk -- as far and fast away from the place.  Give my 30 days and go.

And I might also caution you to be careful about how you say things on the internet.  Things do have a way of coming back and biting people in the butt.  I'm sure you do have a legitimate complaint, but I'd be careful how I worded things, else the barn owner can twist things around and make you look bad.

Answer 6

What do you get in return for the work?  If you're getting reduced or free board, then, dear, yes you do work for her.  

If not, then I would not clean anyone else's stall but my own.

If she's that bad, find another place.

If there is no other place (which is unlikely but possible) then you have a decision to make, and it is one that will help you make decisions your entire life.

You look at the plus side, and the negative side.  You ask yourself, are the plusses better than the negatives.  If the answer is yes, you just deal with it and go on.  You just accept that the negatives are part of the price you pay to enjoy the positives.  Only you can decide if it's worth it.

She isn't likely to change, and if she's at all like me, she doesn't really care who doesn't like the way she wants things done at her barn.  I'm kind of "take it or leave it" about such things, she probably is too.

I'm not her, I don't know her...but I can tell you this...anyone who ever raises their hand to me, or angrily swears at me on my own property would quickly find themselves on their buttocks in the road out front.  If I were feeling particularly magnanimous, I would pick up their teeth for them, place them in a plastic baggie and toss it out behind them.

If she really is a tyrant, her business will dry up because eventually nobody will want to deal with her.  Otherwise, it's just a bad fit and you'd probably be happier somewhere else.

Answer 7

I'd look for somewhere else to board. Or just simply state that you can't work today because of prier obligations. I'd look over your boarding contract carefully, if it says that you only care for your horse I would go by that. If she says anything I would just state that you were following the contract that was previously stated. I would try to be polite, but I would look for another place to board. Best of Luck to you

Answer 8

try moving your horse, or have a word with her, and tell her to"step off!!"

Answer 9

Well if your paying them to board i would do anything they said.  Or tell her when she starts paying you or taking money off your board you will help then.  

Answer 10

that sounds like the old stables that I used to board at. Wonder if it might be hehe....

Anyways, I'd say move your horse out. To me it sounds like the BO is taking advantage of you and everyone else there. I'm sure you are paying her enough that you don't need to work off board.

I was in the same exact situation that you are in, and I just left. I packed up my things, left a note with the BOs husband (because she was in bed), and the next day I loaded my horse and left.  

Answer 11

What ya have here, dear, is a failure to communicate.

You perceive that what she's asking you is somehow wrong - she likely perceives that since you're doing it, you're either pretty nice, a pushover or doing it because you like to.

Consider that some people have different personality and communication styles.  While she thinks she's 'asking' you to do something, you might perceive her "telling' you to do it.

You consider her a "cow" based on your own judgements about people - what makes her a "cow" - is she fat and ugly?  Is she just big and bossy?

what you need to do is put your judgements aside, sit her down and talk to her and tell her very politely how you feel.  Do not do this in a negative or defensive fashion - and forget how she treats others, focus on how she treats YOU.

At one time a comment may have been made by you to help her out - you intending one time, her hearing "from now on".  so you have to give people the benefit of the doubt - rather than simply labeling her a "cow" who's "bossy" and "mean"  - find out for sure by taking action and judging her response.

Here's what I'd do - I'd say to her "Hey, can I talk to ya a minute about something one on one?" and ask her to join you away from others - if she won't do this, then assume she's really not respectful of your needs as a simple other human being.  any person requested to talk real quick alone who refuses does not have your best interests in mind, their best interests in mind and likely not your horse's - find a better place for both of you.

If she will - then proceed from the standpoint of your feelings - not what she does or doesn't do that pisses you off.  Start by saying something like "Do you expect, as part of my board, that I will perform certain responsibilities here?"  She'll likely respond yes or no and return "why?".  Then you can say to a "yes" - "could you share your expectations with me - I am getting some vibes that maybe there's something wrong between us and I wonder if maybe you expect something from me I don't understand fully"  If the answer is "no" then inquire nicely by saying something like "well, I do a lot of things around here that my contact really doesn't stipulate I am required to do - and you ask me to do more, sometimes making me feel as if you are annoyed with me - I just wanted to see if you had some expectations of me or not.  You know, I certainly don't mind helping out when I can, but I hope you'll understand that with my other things in my life, I may not always be able to do what you need done - and I don't want there to be any hard feelings.".

It might seem debasing, but you have to almost prostrate yourself and turn back the laying out of expectations on her and do it in a positive and friendly way.  These are the same things you'd do with a friend - when they do something you don't like or you do something they don't like, what type of thing prompts a discussion between you two?  There will be times two people cannot agree, but can agree to disagree and move on.

After that, things should get better - you have not been nasty, mean, forceful - you've maintained your respect, control of self and situation - you haven't stooped to her level by being nasty or mean and you haven't given her the chance to see you as the upstart she might otherwise see you as.

Consider that if she's heavy and "cowish", she might feel great lack of confidence in herself which might drive her being nasty and doing unethical things to gain artificial friendship.  All people deserve to be rewarded for the good things about themselves and supported to help overcome their weaknesses.  Our looks and demeanor should not be judged at face value.

Good luck -