I have a boyfriend and i want to dorm at college. what do i do?

Question

ill still be in the city but i still feel that the relationship will get a little strained. is it possible for him to visit me like every week? im not sure how visitations work at college. can he sleep over every now and then? i dont think we can keep an apartment together in nyc with rent being so high. if he can visit me, or even me visit him, i think well be ok. how can we keep our relationship working if im going to be away? :/

Answer 1

visitation is very relaxed at colleges, unless it is a private (christian/catholic) school. however you will need to work things over with your roommates so that they are ok with him staying in the room; if they are not ok with it and they tell the administration you could be punished by a simple warning to an expulsion from student housing.

Answer 2

it depends. some colleges have stricter visitation rules than others, so you'll have to check with that particular school. you might just need to fill out a form for him to stay, or you might not be able to do it at all. just find out what their policy is.

and even if you're away from each other, it might actually help your relationship. sometimes missing someone makes you appreciate them more and you get to look forward to seeing them :)

Answer 3

This isn't going to work...just accept it.

Answer 4

First off, realize that this is not the only relationship you're ever going to have and so don't just stick with him and try to make it work when it's not.

Colleges are generally lenient, although they will want you to check him in when he comes so they know otherwise it would be a security problem. But be aware that you are going to have a roommate and SHE might not want him over all the time. Usually a person can't sleep over longer than one full week at a time.

Also realize you're not just going to be going to class then coming back to your room. You're going to be having a lot of work to do and you MUST devote time to that. You're going to make friends and you MUST spend time with them. The most obnoxious thing about some people in college is that they can't "let go" of some things and purposefully skip out on hanging out with friends to hang out with just their boyfriend/girlfriend and drown in sorry when they can't spend time together.

Answer 5

Of course he can visit.  Especially on the weekends.  You may have to sign him in with an RA, especially if he's going to sleep over... but he can stay.  

I was in a situation like this.  The best thing to do is to be very open (don't do an open relationship) about your feelings the whole time.  Talk on the phone a lot, but also have some space... it's college.  

Don't make your distance-relationship your main focus at school.  It's an added bonus to everything college has to offer.  

Have fun!