I have a brother that was adopted...

Question

Okay he was adopted in 1988 right after he was born. The state of Illinois says that the parents have until he is 21 to tell him he is adopted. Okay next summer he will be 21. Do you think he already knows? I would assume he would. But I am his only real sister and I want to find him. All I know is his birthday and that he was given up to a wealthy family. What do I do? Where do I begin? I feel so lost. I have waited this long. I just want to find him. Online is such a good resourse but I cant get anything here without a name. And I dont know what name they gave him. Anyone that can help me please do. Or lead me in some different direction. Thank you! Also I am 21 and I wasnt adopted I was raised by our parents. And I have lived in Wisconsin for the past 16 years.

Answer 1

join renioun.com he might be on there looking for you. and u could find him on there

Answer 2

You can read about your options available for Illinois adoptions here:

http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?...

There is a lot of information here about registries and the Illinois Confidential Intermediary system.

Also, the adoptive parents are not required to tell their adopted child of the adoption, no matter what age s/he is.   The age 21 is simply the age at which adopted persons can use the reunion registry without their adoptive parent's consent.  Talk about demeaning and discriminatory!  However, these days the majority of adoptive parents are honest about the adoption by the time the child reaches adulthood.

Finding siblings isn't easy, but it can be done.  I was able to locate and connect with mine.  

Answer 3

speak to the mother of him (maybe ur the dads side or something,i dont know u did not state)

so get the info about the adoption proceedings,lawyer.company that took care of it all

maybe he knows but does not know how to contact u like u dont know how to contact him,or he may not want to contact you guys(sorry but possible)

u dont really know much so it will be hard,speak to his mother(birth mother) abouot maybe she spoke to them about a name or where they live,maybe just a state(they could have moved)

its hard and tough but i think u can find him !!

xoxo

Answer 4

ask your parents I'm sure they have more information on him. Definitely find out what his last name (and first if you don't know it) is now that will make searching more easy. Finding out where he lives will also help alot.

*edit* that does suck. If they are willing to help you they may be able to go to the hospital he was born at and pull the records from then and find out some information for you. It has to be your parents though, they will not give them to you because of the confidentiality laws.

Answer 5

Hi there,

I am an adoptee who has reunited with my natural family.  My mother and I found each other over the internet in 2004.

I'm so glad to hear that Illinois has mandated that adoptees must be told of their adoption.  That's not the case in many states.  In answer to that part of your question, he probably knows.  I HOPE he knows.  It is much less common to keep one's adoption a secret than it was 30, 40 or 50 years ago.  I always knew I was adopted.  I was born in the early 70s.  If he doesn't know, he has probably suspected all along.  That is VERY common.  'Google' the term "late discovery adoptee" for more information on that.

I'm not trying to be rude here, but I'm afraid that the other poster who suggested that your parents go get the birth records from the hospital doesn't realize that natural parents (yes, the one who GAVE BIRTH) can no longer get the records of her child's birth once an adoption has taken place.  That is part of the 'sealed' record.

How do I know?  My mother -- the one who gave birth to me -- could not get MY birth record from the hospital where I was born because I had been adopted and the birth record was sealed up with all the adoption records.

I realize that most people do not understand that the information they are telling you do use -- you do not have.  I know how it is to try to do a search when you have almost nothing to go on.  I did one -- a successful one!

Please see my answers to the following two questions earlier in Y!A.  The answers are long but contain a lot of information to answer your "Where do I begin?" question.

In the first, I'm answering to an adoptee, like me.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

In the second, I'm answering to a natural sibling who wants to find her sibling that had been adopted, like you.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

If there is any more information I can help you with, please feel free to contact me through email by clicking on my profile icon (avatar).

Best of luck to you!!

Answer 6

As far as I know, you can advertise publicly that you're looking for him but he has to seek you out if he wants find you.

Answer 7

Do they know what agency/group they used for the adoption?  If so, I would call them and they can help you.  Most states have registries where you can register your information and if your brother has done the same, then they will release your information to each other.