I have a controlling mother, what do i do?

Question

I am 16 years old and I will be a Juinor in high school this year. My mother is very controlling about what i do. I am not rebellious nor do i smoke nor drink. She watches every single thing i do and is always calling on me to make sure that i am not up to anything. She will not let me date. She claims she wants to move in with me when i go to college. I also got my learners permit in may and it is now august and she will not let me drive. If i do, i am stuck in my high school parking lot and the bus loop. She freaks out whenever i get in front of the wheel. She makes sure that when i drive she is AS CLOSE to me as possible so she has more control of the car than me.I went to see my cousin who is 30 and she let me drive on the roads and even in 6 o'clock traffic and I did just fine.What do i do so i can get more freedom and less of her being control-ish?

Answer 1

well I am 16 as well and my parents are sort of strict and controlling as well, they say things such as I can't go out when they work, or if I go out I have to be back within like 3hrs...but I sort of took things in my own hands and just sneak out. Since it a be now I'm sure u are coin have many things you're going to want to do, and maybe ur mom needs to understand that. Maybe u need to try having a talk with her. Hope it helps!

Answer 2

there's nothing you can do. your mother has serious control issues. she also refuses to acknowledge that you are a capable, growing adult. her lack of trust in you and refusal to let you go will only smother you, cause you to lose all self confidence, and s***w up your ability to function as a human being forever. the best you can hope for is to tell somebody close - like a family member or a friend of hers you know can influence her - exactly how much your mother's behaviour is hurting you and ask them to talk to her to help make her stop. you going at it with her will only lead to hostility and you'll never work it out. if somebody else makes the point, she may be more receptive to see how wrong and harmful she's being to you. if you get somebody to talk to her, they might wanna emphasize that if she keeps this up, when you're old enough, you'll grow to hate her so much that you'll leave, cut her out of your life in order to stay sane, and she'll lose you forever. because that's what inevitably happens when a controlling parent refuses to love and support their child and smothers it instead.

Answer 3

d**n, well i don't know, i am in a similar situation

Answer 4

Sounds like a good mom to me.  Perhaps if she wasn't as interested in you as she is you would be a smoker, drinker, pregnant and on welfare.

Answer 5

Let her know that in 2 years your gonna be an adult,

and that your getting older,

and if u want throw in a cheesy line by saying something like

"you have to trust that you've taught me how to be a great person,by giving me more freedom."

:]

and let her know that youve passed the driving lesson,so she should trust that ur good enough to drive on the road now.

[[hopefully that works]]

:]

Answer 6

Now your mother is some weirdo

Maybe you should just have a chat with her and tell her that you are a responsible person (if you really believe you are and know you are) and tell her you can handle things. Maybe get some of your other relatives like that cousin of yours to talk to her. Tell her if she keeps doing this your not going to have control of your OWN life. Yelling would help when she keeps insisting she should (: ( i do that) dunno if that works with you :P

Tell her its okay to worry about her and stuff but shes going WAY over board with all this protective stuff.  

Answer 7

Have you tried talking to her about how she controls you?  Most times parents are that controlling, it has nothing to do with you, but is all about their own fears.  She probably thinks that if she can watch you 24/7, then nothing bad will EVER happen to you.

You should explain to her that you're not a child anymore, and that you have to go out and start living life, because if you don't you'll be so sheltered that when you do finally go out on your own, you won't know anything about the world.  Tell her to show you some trust, and in return you'll make sure you call her when you get somewhere, or will tell her what time you'll be home (and make sure you are, or it will be perceived as you being deceitful).  She has to give a bit in order for you to start living.

Good luck!