I have a difficult situation...?

Question

I know I shouldn't really be asking for help on here, but I really don't have anyone else I can talk to, or trust that this wont become public knowledge.

Anyway, when I was 15 (3 and a half years ago) I was raped. I didn't report it because I didn't have any family support and my counselor told me I would be wasting my time because the police wouldn't believe me. I did try to tell my best friend at the time, however she called me a liar and now she's best friends with him.

I got a text from a friend this morning (who doesn't know about the rape) telling me that the guy was at a party last night that she was at. My friend went to this party with a girl I do not know. She left her friend alone with him (not intentionally), and came back and her friend was crying and he was gone.

No one knows what happened/ my friend wont tell me what happened between them.

I'm really worried and upset that he's hurt her now. I don't know what to say or what to do.

What do you think I should do or say or anything?

Thanks.

Answer 1

I think you should go to the police and tell them that something happend to you 3 years ago and you heard through the grapevine that it's happend to atleast one other person very recently...explain to them that you were young at the time and were told by the couselor going to the police would be a waste of time..but you're concerned that htis person is a preditor... IF you feel able and comfortable enough to do so.. I suggest you ask your friend to let you meet this friend of hers and have a conversations with her about your expieriences and your concerns. because it's happend again i do think somehting should be done about it.. because often times more people are willing to step foreward if they dont feel alone.. this guy is a jerk who preys on people and wont change obviously on his own

Answer 2

I would strongly suggest to your friend that she talks with this girl and let her try to find out what happen.This girl may be more willing to trust her friend and speak openly about what happened.At the very least suggest to your friend  that she give this girl the phone number of a crisis hot-line so if  and when she gets the courage to speak these people can help her.It is important that she tells what happened.If she has not laundered her clothing  it might be a good idea to bag it and save it.i'm no expert on DNA but it would at least provide some evidence that he was with her.It is important that any marks or bruises be recorded.If nothing is said he is free to continue doing this to other females.The danger is that he may become more violent.If your friend suspects that something like a rape has taken place then you may have to reveal what happened to you.This guy needs to be stopped.Take care.

Answer 3

Dear Sarah,

The only thing you can really do, is file a complaint for your assault, and provide the police with any additional information you may have, regarding other assaults.  There would be an investigation, potentially turning up other victims.  Even if you can't get a conviction for your charges, there still may be a conviction for another victim.

I recommend, you talk to a rape crisis counselor, at your school, or in your locality.  I realize, you are not in the jurisdiction of where the offense occurred.  However, I believe they should be able to advise you.

I wish you the best,

Larry

Answer 4

I think you should speak to the girl directly. If she was raped, too, you could talk to her. Help her out.

Answer 5

Well, if you can, confront your friend and explain again what happened to you when you were 15. Then, hopefully if it matches the other girls story she will believe you and then you can tell the police. They are more likely to believe that it happened to two people. I'm not sure if this will work but it's worth a try right?

And I'm sorry about the rape, I know how you feel.  

Answer 6

Omg, you have to get that poor girl and you to the police station, that b****** needs locked up, I'm am so sorry this has happened to you and if your ''Ex best friend'' was any type of friend she would have believed you and got that pervert locked up, try and get this girl to talk to you and then go to the police station and report him, and and a word of advice, SACK THAT UNHELPFUL COUNSELOR!!! omg I cant believe they said that to you

Hope I helped =)

Erin M

Answer 7

I think you should speak to the girl directly, and tell her indirectly that he as physically abused somebody else before, and if he did to her, then her and 'the other girl' could get some official help in locking this guy up.

Good luck!

However; it really depends on how open you are with your raping.

Answer 8

some times it is easy to talk to someone that has been though it before so maybe telling her what happened to you will help her come out and say what happened.

but their is a few things maybe you should talk to a councilor and see what they think.

would it have made it easy for you to tell if you had someone said that he had done it before when it happened to you.

Good luck  

Answer 9

Unfortunately, as long as nobody reports this guy and he keeps getting away with it, he will keep on doing to others what he did to you.

It's possible that your "best friend" didn't want to believe it happened because she liked him herself.

Answer 10

wow girl, this is a really confusing situation.

i would ask for your friends friends phone number and call her and tell her what happened with you a couple years ago and maybe she will tell you what happened and maybe she can get this guy in jail.

Answer 11

It is a very sad thing that this man is left alone to keep doing what he is doing, and that the people who should have been your support group have totally let you down. Go talk to this girl who was crying and see if she will open up to you. Find out if she was raped by him, and if so see if she will go to the police and tell her you will go with her for support. He has to be stopped and you have the perfect opportunity to do this. If the girl you mentioned won't go to the police with you, then go by yourself, and tell them your whole story. He has got to be stopped from hurting anymore young girls. If you do go to the police, I strongly urge you to tell them about  your councillor too. He should be severely reprimanded for telling you what he did. The school should be made aware of his attitude toward your trauma. I hope things work out for you, I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you and good luck.

Answer 12

You should tell this girl, in confidence, what he did to you. Then she will be more willing to open up to you.

Then once you and her know what's going on, you can both go to the police and report him. Having 2 girls say he raped them is pretty damning evidence.

Good luck to both of you!

Answer 13

gee that hits pretty close to home on my part. I know counsellers might say not to, but you need to tell the cops. If this guy did something to that girl, and she knows that he did it to someone else, she might be able to pride evidence of it. There were three people at that party that saw that girl cry, maybe some random even saw it happen. But im telling, you telling the people is the best thing you can do for this girl and yourself. If you tell the cops, this girl will feel more comfortable about the telling the cops aswell. And who knows how many other girls he could have raped.

Please tell the cops, if not for yourself, then for this other girl.

good luck and god bless

Answer 14

Oh gosh. I have been in this situation before, only my friends friend wasn't raped. She was sexually assaulted by that's kinda the same thing. I think you should really talk to her though, try to get her to open up. Its easier to talk to a stranger (in that case; the stranger is you) than it is to talk to the people you're close with. So definalty try talking to her and explain what happened to you three years ago