I have a family problem?

Question

ok my mom and dad keep fighting and arguing all the time i am so sick of this all my life they have been fighting and even more my dad he is so rude keeps abusing raising hands yelling on the top of his voice my dad drinks hes as good as an alcoholic when i was younger in school he used to fling my books and stuff out of the house when he doesn't drink hes a better person but when hes drunk he becomes an animal, i guess it runs in his family his older brother also is the same .i am so sick of all of this these fights have cause allot of mental and emotional problems to me i am emotionally week and don't make friends easily i don't talk allot always to my self . i am 19 now and it still worries me when i was younger i used to run in the bedroom and cover my self with pillows to try and dissolve the yelling but now i am older and i tend to fight too and it creates allot of unhappiness u might realize by the way i have typed this message also that i am frustrated and unhappy. some one plz tell me wat to do

Answer 1

you could pop in some steroids and pull a chris benoit

Answer 2

ACCEPT

You have to accept the fact that your family is just the way how you described it.

I don't believe there is a way you can change that.

STUDY

Study hard so that you will be able to land a good job or go into business.

By this you can be independent, the sooner the better

BELIEVE

Have faith in yourself so that you will be able to overcome all of your disappointments and problems maybe not now but in the near future.

BE HAPPY

Have a positive outlook in life.

Think of all the blessings that you have.

Do not vent your anger and frustrations on other people.

BE STRONG

You must have the determination to overcome all obstacles to your growth and development

The things I mentioned above are not easy to do you may fail and falter at one point or the other.

PRAY

I am not a religious person but I do believe in the power of prayer.

It will help you to keep in focus with your goals and in touch with your spirituality.

That's all I can say, brother.

.

Answer 3

Your "internal dialogue" (you may have heard Dr Phil mention this once or a thousand times) needs some serious attention. The thoughts that race around our heads everyday, ie "man I hate getting up this early" or "not this old c**p again" etc etc  are subconsciously repeated so many times it becomes like an old broken record, repeating over and over. The way we react to situations (for example like when an argument breaks out in your house) is predetermined by our internal dialogue. The human brain stores all of it and plays back responses just like a tape recorder. In your case its very unfortunate you have had to hear the negative fighting going on all your life because your parents are the biggest influence when it comes to stress management strategies and it sounds like yours have filled your head with some distructive thinking. Get yourself to a counsellor asap. Whether its through school, college, a church or your local doctor WHEREVER! You need to learn some ways of retraining your thinking so you are able to deal with stress effectively rather than copying your parents and passing it on to your children etc. I dont know how old you are but Id look at moving out asap too. See a counsellor while your young because the longer you allow negative thinking patterns to guide your decision making, the harder it will be to change. Good Luck.

Answer 4

if the drinking is out of control then you should try and do an intervention on him and make him go to rehab. theres this show called intervention on A&E and its about people who abuse drugs/alcohol. you should watch it and get some tips on how to do an intervention.

im sorry about your situation. i have big family problems as well. i hope everything goes well.

Answer 5

sorry for ur current situation. i think the only clue is to stop dad from drinking. use the religion to convince him & make him feel ashamed of it. also from the medical view, it is completely destructive (much to the LIVER,..etc)

Answer 6

Your dad is an abuser. You and your mom need to find someone to talk to about this.

If you are being abused in the USA, please call the National Domestic Violence Crisis Line 1-800-799-7233.

"Battering is a socially learned behavior, and is not the result of substance abuse or mental illness, advocacy groups claim. "Men who batter frequently use alcohol abuse as an excuse for their violence. They attempt to rid themselves of responsibility for the problem by blaming it on the effects of alcohol," they say.

Alcohol does not and cannot make a man abuse a woman, but it is frequently used as an excuse. Many men drink and do not abuse anyone as a result. On the other hand many men abuse women when they are sober. It can be easier for some men and for some women to believe that the violence would not have happened if a drink had not been taken.

It's part of the denial process. Alcoholism and battering do share some similar characteristics -- both may be passed from generation to generation, both involve denial or minimization of the problem, both involve isolation of the family." see citation below.