I have a five year old diagnosed with adhd?

Question

my five year old was diagnosed with adhd in the begining of the school year and a month later his father died and then a month after that i gave birth to his little brother and now he is not doing none of his work in school now and i talk and talk i took everything he loves away and he still isnt doing his work he a good kid but he doesnt listen i dont no how to get him to do his work in school and listen without medicating him

Answer 1

im sorry to hear about his father and your troubles but i think medicine is the only way. sorry

Answer 2

It's been a tough few months and you need to step up as a parent.  Is he in counseling?  Is he seeing someone to go over how he's feeling.  He's had two very traumatic events happen in a short time.  You need to get on the ball and get this child some help!

That being said,  if you want to avoid medication then you need to step up your parenting skills and stay on top of what is going on.  Have you modified his diet?  Taken out all white sugars and processed food?  

I honestly don't think you understand what exactly ADHD is and how to manage it.

Check out this site for great info:

http://www.chadd.org

EDIT**  You really need to educate yourself on the different issues with ADHD.  It does not sound like you have an understanding of what is going on with the meds these days.  Sure some meds do not work with some kids, but once you find a fit it can be amazing.  Meds will work differently on each child.  What works with one does not work with another.  You need to find the right "fit", but realize that during growth spurts meds may not be as effective either.  My son is on Concerta.  We have used other meds, but after time certain meds lose their effectiveness.  This can be due to growth, a build up in tolerance, and biological changes in the child.  This is why you need to have a good solid relationship with all doctors and specialists involved.  Proper monitoring is essential as well.  Lab tests are usually required at six month intervals.  There is a lot to learn about ADHD and how to manage it effectively.  That being said, my son has never been a "zombie" on meds.  It just allows him to concentrate and get his work done.  The difference is night and day when he has his meds and doesn't.  

I forgot to give him his meds one hectic morning and I got a call from his teacher asking what was wrong with him.  Oops.  It does really help the child manage much better in school.  

For those who say that it isn't a real disease they need to educate themselves as well.  It is a legitimate neurological disorder.  Let's remember that Autism wasn't diagnosed 20-30 years ago either.

Answer 3

It sounds as if you are all going through alot. Counseling would definitely help. I have a 8 year old that was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 5. She failed kindergarten and I have put her on the medication that her doctor suggested. We have had to try several different medications and dosages but it has really helped. She loves school now and is top in her class! She likes the medicine because it helps her. She reminds me when it's time for her meds. Maybe you should at least consider the medicine. Sometimes it can work miracles.

Answer 4

my sister had adhd kids and stopped sugars and gave them advacado and other fruits and vegetables and fruit but the advacado seemed to have a very calming effect practice small amounts of concentration with him and build up...good luck

Answer 5

I have a son who is going to be five next month, and he has ADHD hyperactive.  I can tell you one thing that I have expeirence with him is that he can't handle any kind of change, and your son has been through some major life changes.  I took my son to a Child Physcologist and he determined that he had problems with anxiety and depression.  He put him on some medications and I hate to admit, it's really helped out.  He is more active in school, he's excelled far so much than my six year old, who has no problems of the sort.  I still have to avoid changes, but with your situation, it's a little different.  These changes he's going through, you're also going through, and I'm so sorry you have to go through it.  You may not want to try out the medication, and I respect that, I've been there, but talk to your pediatrician and see what they think about it.  Do some research, it helps to make a decision knowing as much as you can.  There are some good med's out there that do help, and maybe if it does help him, it might be best.  He probably feels like he's forgotten now that the new baby is here and it could cause some anger and agression too, just reassure him that he's not been forgotton and that Daddy's watching over him always.  Good luck to ya hun, I know you know what's best for your child, you'll make it through it okay, I promise.

Answer 6

That's alot of life-changing events in a short period time for any 5 year old, let alone one with ADHD. You should see about getting him into counselling, they'll be able to help you and him as well.

Answer 7

Has he had any kind of counseling to help him deal with his father's death? My step-son was the same age when his mom died and he never had counseling and even now at age 21 he still has a lot of issues with it.

Also, changing his diet is a good idea. The Feingold diet is great for kids that have ADHD and other behavioral issues.

Jaime: Drugs are NEVER a good idea for young children. My cousin almost died of liver failure because of being put on Ritalin. These drugs are not formulated for a child's body and can do great damage. Also, with all the people that are using drugs, do we really need to start them pill-popping so young? I don't think so!

I can't believe all the people that are telling you to put him on drugs! He is a child that has had to deal with the death of his father and the birth of a little brother. Drugging him is NOT going to help him. Only a counselor and maybe some family counseling is in order.

Answer 8

Sorry to hear about your child's father.  I have a child that was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in kindergarten.  I know it is difficult to make the decision to medicate your child, but I think you should try it as soon as you can.  My son had his first dose of medicine when he was 5, and it was like night and day difference in school.  Just remember, he cannot help it.  When my son started medication (Concerta), there was marked improvement on his handwriting, coloring inside the lines, and behavior.  Medication is not a cure, and ADHD does get easier as he gets older and he learns to deal with his symptoms.

Find an ADHD support group for parents.  If you need anymore ADHD support, you can email me, I understand.  My son is now 9 years old, and I can tell you it does get a little easier with time.

Answer 9

how did his father die? what was the relationship between you... i don't need to know just think

cause I'm thinking is it was a degenerative disease for instance could that of caused the child to withdraw or go manic. = adhd diagonosis

now hes got some sucky little baby and no dad

id be running round in circles

could you make up a our beginnings book do you have any photos funny moments, creative licence allowed for effect.

also suggest that he'll need to show the younger one boy things as he gets older, don't suggest he's the man of the house ...boy's good

Answer 10

Uh yeah meds will prob be the only thing that will help

Answer 11

First of all, he's 5.....

That is a bit young to be diagnosed with ADHD, just about every 5 yr old child can fall into the category if tested.   So lets just pretend for a moment he is a normal young man.....

He's a normal young man who's father died a few months ago, and in addition he has to deal with the fact that he is no longer the only kid.  Mom's  attention now goes to caring for the new baby, Dad is gone, and now we are in Kindergarten where people expect you to sit and do work rather then play all day like in pre-school.

Now to top it all off, Mom's going ballistic, taking away everything he loves..... as if that hasn't already happened.....

Forget he was diagnosed with ADHD, work with him as though he is a little boy who just lost everything he loved, has his world turned upside down, and doesn't have any direction to turn.

Give him time, give him patience, and you might even want to give him a counselor to talk to.....

Answer 12

I am so sorry to hear about your loss for you and your children.  I hope his family and yours are their to support you during this grieving time.  I to had a adhd child.  I wish that was his only issue.  Does he have other LD problems that you have noticed.  This could be part of the problem.  example: single task - left handed - color blind - dyslectic - wanderer - no visualization skills and wanted to be the only son (younger brother 3 yrs).  This was some of the issues my son brought with his adhd.  10 month was when I knew he was different.  He is now 22yr and has graduated from HS, can hold down a job, with a great work ethic, (works delivering for a major delivery company),  I am proud.

Discipline never worked well with him cause he did not visualize he did not get the what if this happen disciplines.  So what happened to stop the behavior for a long time was he got hurt, they got hurt, or it would break for him to get it to stop.  His stopper was broken, I have to teach that part to him. When taking things away only take the bit that works, like the seat for his bike or the power cord for the electronic device that seems to help them see the punishment better - out of sight out of mind - when it does not work they ask and the punishment is reviewed again. There is allot more to tell - I did medication too but only in the mornings for school and as light a dosage as possible. You can never care too much for a child - good luck with the new baby too.

Answer 13

This is what happened with my mom,my dad died then a couple mouths later i was born but she still had my brother to take care of and my brother was doing bad in shcool too and she ened up putting him on medication but if thats not something you want to do.Then try setting up a conferance with his teachers and let them know whats been going on,or just let them know thats your son needs so extra help in school and the teachers can work with him and pay close attention to him to make sure he is doing his work,and incurage him to do it.This is what they did with him,even tho he was taking medication too but i use to take medication and it did work but it also make me really tired and not myself.I havnt taken it since 6grade and  im in 10th ,teachers really can help a kid alot.

Answer 14

Sorry to hear about your problem, I can only say that hopefully with time it will get better, my son also has ADHD and it took a while for us to really see a change, sometimes I still get calls from the teacher telling me that he is refusing to do his work, also in the beginning we had to change the medication a few times to get it at the right dose.  Try and remember that your child has had alot of stress on him recently and this will talk some time to adjust, he is going through and dealing with things that adults sometimes cannot cope with.  I hope all works out for you.

Answer 15

I am so sorry for the loss of his father. Just new things like death and birth can throw a "normal" child overboard. My now almost 8 year old son has been on meds for a few years now. I have had them changed many times, due to the zombieness, and have found that Strattera works quite well. His teachers have said that he is sitting better in class, but still not doing his work. I talked to his doctor the other day and they changed his meds to Concerta 18mg and said that this might help get him to do his work better. He is also on Risperdal 1mg at night. Medications aren't all bad, and if it will help you help him, then that is something you need to look into.

Answer 16

i had the same problem with my son at the same age. Not meaning to be mean, but seek advice at his doctors i did the same for my son and yes they gave him medicine it worked for about 3 and a half months then they looked at him again and took him off the meds. and now he his doing fine and doing his work and likes it. Good Luck!!!

Answer 17

get him to a counselor. Look at what all he has been through this school yr. He has a lot of emotions that he needs to let out. With his dad dieing and the birth of a new baby all with in a month, i'm not suprised he is acting like this. Please he needs a child psychologist who knows how to deal with this young of a person emtions. It's not his fault for what happened but he probably doesn't understand it.

Best of luck

Answer 18

I am so sorry to hear all of this. Usually from what I was told ADHD is not diagnosed well until they are 7yrs old. Was he diagnosed by behavior alone? Did he have all of the testing to go with the diagnosis? I have a 15 yr old with severe Adhd and I didn't medicate him until he was in the 7th grade. It was a serious uphill battle and he was diagnosed at 7 yrs of age. He sees a child psyciatrist that specializes in ADHD. There is a number of tests that can be done to diagnose this.Blood tests, EEG's and personality profiles. These studies are best done when the brain is a little more mature. They need to find out where and to what extent the chemical imbalance is occuring. I hate to say this but he still has trouble with his school work but he is one of the most intelligent and creative people that I know. His teachers are all impressed with his personality and his intelligence but his grades are seriously suffering otherwise.

This much I can say, patience is a serious part of being an ADHD parent. Right now a councelor is imparitive to his well being. He has had a lot to deal with, losing his father and now not being the baby in your life. It is a lot for an adult to deal with much less a child. Take him to see a professional. You may need one too to help you cope with all of this. I know it is hard, I have dealt with this for a long time. I also have two adult kids that do not have ADHD and it is difficult to not compare him to them. They are very successful adults. I just want that for him too.

Oh and by the way ADHD kids don't respond to having there favorite things taken from them the way we think. Don't really know why.

Answer 19

Give him the meds to help him focus and get through this difficult time. As he grows older, you can try weening him off it them; but right now, he needs help.

Answer 20

ADHD is over diagnosed.  He just has alot going on in his life.