I have a girlfriend & she loves me very much but my family doesn't like her. What do I do?

Question

I have a girlfriend and we've been together for 19 mos. already. During that very long time, my family doesn't like her because of her dysfunctional family members. Her mother's a gambler, her siblings don't want to study, and she lives with her stepfather who harasses her sexually. I'm her "only hope", meaning I'm her only motivation in her studies and everything she does,but all of my relatives who are Christians don't like her and want me to break up with her because they think she's a hindrance to my ministry and she's not "God's will" for me. We love each other and I don't want to leave her 'yet', but frankly, I really don't want to break up with her because I'm afraid I might destroy her life by leaving her and she's very loyal and kind to me. By the way, she's 19 and I'm 24. She's still studying and I'm already a professional. What advice can you give me based on a Christian perspective and what is the right thing to do?

Answer 1

Well you do have a problem, first I think you need to try to get your girl friend into counseling for her problems. second you need to decide if you really love her or if you are trying to save her. as a christian woman i would ask you to seek out a councilor for yourself. Your local pastor might be a good choice.You might also try good old fashioned prayer. Your family is just trying to protect you because they love you and just want the best for you, but ultimately all of the decisions are yours.  You must also understand that you are not her only hope, you are her most convenient hope. She is 19 and IS capable of making her own decisions, she found you didn't she?  God Bless you.  

Answer 2

do you even love her? or u just feel sorry for her?  

Answer 3

you shouldn't care what your parents think if you really want to be with her. you're 24 for Christ's sake break away already.  

Answer 4

well what would she be without you then

she needs you

ur family arent in the relationship you are

just because her family are like that doesnt mean she it,

your family sound like snobs, and make me angry:@

Answer 5

get a spine!!!!! if you love this woman, if she is worth it, and she makes a good effort for your parents, then they obviously have to let go. its their problem not yours. live your life and be happy, they are your parents sure, but they may never like anyone you date, so just be happy with her and concentrate on your relationship!!

Answer 6

If you love her that much...elope! You should respect your parents..but don't try to please everyone...Just be careful that she is not just using you to get out of her issues. Plus if she has been "harassed" you need to make sure that she is not simply using you as a life saver...Once you save her...how will she be? Best of luck...and God Bless

Answer 7

the thing i fail to understand is . if your folks are god people ' should they give everyone the benefit ' of the dought .

Answer 8

I think you should be able to decide what you want. It is not very fair to promise her things you can't give her since she relies on you so much. If you feel you don't want to leave her "yet", trust me, it will hurt much less if you do it now. Staying with her because you feel sorry for her is not helping her. :)

Answer 9

you will never be able to fully please your family.

think well if you really love her, if you don't why don't you try and get her to know god and that somehow she will never be alone with god by her side.

please think of you 2 instead of your family, is it worth it?

then you will have your answer.

Answer 10

If she's 19, then she is an adult and can move away from all the negative influencesin her life.  You, however have little or no responsibility to her in the realm of her personal motivation so if you are thinking of leaving her, be sure to avoid dragging things out.  It is possible that if you have an open and honest relationship, you can remain friends and perhaps be there for her in that aspect.  

Answer 11

I'm going to tell you this and I hope for your sake it sinks in ,,,,This hasn't anything to do with religion so much as it does the facts of life where this is concerned ,,,,Your nationality doesn't matter here ,,,,  You are both adults ,,,, Your relationship(s) and with whom is NONE of your families business plain and period ,,,, I assume it's your parents over the rest and mostly your mother that is giving you the greatest grief over this ,,,, You DEFINITELY need to tell them that you are old enough to make your own decisions where your private social and love life is concerned ,,,,

They can't live your life for you or make your decisions or make your mistakes for you either and it's for sure no one is going to step up to suffer the consequences for the mistakes you make in your life either ,,,, That one is yours too ,,,,  

This may muddy up the water in the family pond so to speak but you need to tell every body that if you make mistakes in your life they are going to be yours and no one Else's ,,,, That you refuse to live with mistakes that were made for you by someone else ,,,, There's nothing more up setting or irritating than interfering relatives and especially domineering  mothers ,,,, If you let anyone bully you into leaving this girl then you could very easily wind up living a life of regret ,,,, NEVER settle for what you consider second best or decisions that were made for you ,,,, You'll regret it the rest of your life ,,,,, You'd better listen to that part believe me ,,,,

A hard learned lesson is a lesson learned the hard way ,,,, There's nothing you can do to correct the mistakes and the consequences are unavoidable ,,,, You need to tell every one concerned to mind their own business ,,,, That you are going to make your own decisions and that you'd greatly appreciate it if they kept what they think and their comments to themselves ,,,, This might get worse before it gets better but it's your whole life and hers in question here not theirs ,,,, If you make mistakes then it's you that has to live with them not them ,,,,

Christians huh? Well lets hit on religion for a minute then  ,,,,Christianity is a two way street ,,,,What ever happened to Christian cherity ?,,,, It wasn't with the converted and saved that Jesus spent his time it was with the harlets and sinners  ,,,, It's not the well and healthy that need the physician it's the sick and infirm,,,,  Maybe your family should take a look at themselves and try to figure out what makes them tick ,,,, They claim to be Christians ,,,, Who among them has the right to set themselves up to judge anyone let alone this girl ,,,, The prostitute ran to Jesus and he said to the accusers "let anyone among you with out sin cast the first stone"  when the accusers left he asked her "Woman where are your accusers now ?"  She replied "Lord I have no one accusing me"  and he replied  "Neither do I ,,,, Go and sin no more",,,,

As I said religion is a two way street ,,,, It doesn't matter if a persons body is clean or not ,,,,, It's what's inside that counts ,,,,  A person can be sparkling clean on the out side but totally filthy insided ,,,,  The Lord said "Come out from among them and be ye seperate" ,,,, It sounds like this girl has done that or is trying to anyway but what reward is she getting for it other than to be scorned and ridiculed  by Christians ??,,,, //