I have a hang up with her sexual past

Question

I love my girlfriend a lot. However I have a hang up with her sexual past. She could have been with 1 or 50 men and I would still obsess about it! I very confident about my sexuality and it is not about competition. It could be a hang up about possession or her being property I admit. I seem to have a problem differentiating between now and then. That was then, this is now….yet I imagine and torture myself with images of her with other men as if it were happening in the present in front of my eyes. Then I imagine us breaking up and her having future lovers. Of course I have no problem with my sexual past nor does she. In fact she is glad that I am experienced. What is wrong with me and how do I stop this madness?

Answer 1

You love her so much that you can't imagine her with anyone else nor do you want to.  You have to leave it in the past.  She is with you because she loves you.  Unless she is cheating on you you shouldn't feel threatened.  Everyone has a past.  I was molested by my brother but my husband doesn't think about it or hold it against me.  Don't torture yourself.  Just keep it in the past.  If you can't get past it then seek professional help.  Of course she will have future lovers if she doesn't wind up with you but don't let this obsession break you up if you truly love her.

Answer 2

You are looking to the past . . . when you should be looking to the future, with her.

If unable to accept the fact that she is with you now, wants to be with you, has chosen to be with you . . . if you are unable to accept this and start looking to a future together . . . then you need to let her go.  End the relationship.

She accepts your past, correct?  It is time for you to accept her . . . as is . . . and move on.  If unable to do so, you may try counseling.  But it would probably be best for her if you just let her go.  She deserves someone who loves and respects her . . . as is . . . with all her life experiences.  If you cannot do so, end the relationship.

Answer 3

There is a reason she broke up with them and chose to be with you. I suggest the 2 of you should discuss this problem together and see if you can work things out. If you are still having these issues, you should go get professional help, either just you or both of you  could go together.

Answer 4

you are going to have to realize everybody has a past! That's where it should stay is in the past.  She loves you and is with you now.  What's the difference in you being with other women and her being with men.........nothing.  But, it's before ya'll met each other.  Now is what counts not then.  Give yourself some piece of mind.......you are the man she's with now.

Answer 5

time to grow up ...you've been with her a while now..except it and move forward with her or reject it and move on with out her. The past is the past. The present is the present. The future is what you make of it.

Answer 6

this things hapen allot. you have to take a deap breahte, and get fresh air and thin SCREEEEEM!

"WHY DIDY OU DO THIS TO ME? WHY ID YOU DO THIS TO ME":

"I LOVE YOU!!!!!!"

thin you will feel better

trust me I no this things.....

Answer 7

I'm the exact same way with my boyfriend, and honestly, it's good to know that there's someone out there who's like me.

There's nothing wrong with you.  As soon as these thoughts start popping up, think of something else.  Think of good times you've had with her, or something that makes you really happy.

I know it's really hard to avoid these thoughts, but it's the only way to stop torturing yourself.  Just hang in there.

Answer 8

You need to start trusting your girlfriend and having confidence in yourself and your ability to please her. It seems like she is happy being with you, and you need to stop stressing and enjoy her. It may help if you both begin to be more open in bed. No, not talking about prior experiences. What I mean is that you should be communicating and telling each other what you like/don't like. It will help you to understand what makes her happy, and you'll become very confident very quickly.

After you're confident that you're pleasing her, a lot of your worries will disapear.  

Answer 9

shes with you isnt she now get over it

Answer 10

the fact is you feel insecure.

shes with you right now, so just enjoy the moment :]

Answer 11

What is wrong with you? You sound like you suffer from ruminative thinking, which is a component of anxiety. You think the same thoughts over and over again and can't stop them, even if you want to stop them.

My suggestion would be to find a counselor trained in cognitive behavioral therapy techniques. Additionally, seeing a psychiatrist who could prescribe you an antidepressant that works on anxiety could help.

Good luck.  

Answer 12

You're okay with your sexual past but not hers? Wow, what a sexist jerk. You should go see a counselor. Seriously.