I have a low self esteem and a low self confidence.. Help!? ?

Question

like for example i put myself always under some people..i think most of the times that i'm ugly and that nobody wants me...and that there's something wrong with me and the cause off these thoughts is because i wass bullied alot in my school and now this feeling is not going away...f.e: I don't even dare to wear some clothes that i want coz off it..

Some people called me mean names or weird..or gothic cauz i weared black alot.. but i'm not a goth!!! i'm just hiding all my bad things inside the black clothes... HOW CAN I CHANGE??? AND NOT THINK ANYMORE OFF OTHERS OPINION??? I'm always so sensitive/emotional to other peoples opinion..like a half hour ago a guy said to me.."who wants a girl like you?" I'm far from ugly but i'm not miss perfect.. Sooo... :(

Answer 1

Have you heard this song before?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJ...

It's good for a pick-me-up.

Anyway, I'm not very good when it comes to questions like these..

The only things I have to say have probably been said before.

Those being..

Other people's opinions don't matter. If you live your life the way you want, why should you be criticized? The only people that choose to hurt you, aren't worth caring about anyway.

I'd say the past couple years I was in your position. But recently, I stopped caring.

I'm a junior now, and I've already had a fun year, although I'm only two weeks into the school year...

But I basically stopped caring what kids thought. Part of this is probably because having a girlfriend has given me a confidence boost, but I don't care what people think anymore.

I stopped caring what kids thought was "g*y", or "nerdy", or just not "cool".

I spend my time fishing with my dad, playing paint-ball with friends, and the rest is spent with my girlfriend. I know I have a great life, so why should I care what other people think?

Anyway, I'll wrap this up.

After you're done with school, you'll realize you're worrying over nothing.

When high school is over, you'll never see most of those kids ever again.

Don't worry about it, have fun, and if you ever want to talk without asking a question on Yahoo, feel free to email me.

____

Oh, and about the guy thing...

1.) Only shallow guys date girls based on looks.

2.) You don't want to date a shallow guy.

Besides, if he said that about you, he clearly doesn't like you.

Do you compliment people you don't like? No.

So his opinion is biased, and therefore doesn't count.

Answer 2

The best thing that you can do is realize that these people who are saying mean things about you, are terrible people, so therefore their opinions are worthless, so why should you care what they think?

The best advice I can give you, is to be happy with yourself, that way nobodies opinion will bother you because you will have internal happiness.  If you don't like certain aspects of yourself, then do what you need to make yourself happy.  Nothing you do should be to change someone else's opinion, because what do they know? :D

Answer 3

at least you know that youre far from ugly

sometimes when i get to thinking the way you seem to be, i think of the things that I'm good at

I may not be the best at my job and, compared to some of my friends at work, I'm not as good as them,  flat out.

But, Ive taught a few of these better techs how to play guitar, or how to do an ollie on a skateboard

Just think of something that people rely on you for, as well  

for example:

At work, whenever someone is typing a letter, or doing something that has to do with words, they'll ask me how to spell a word, or if its spelled correctly, or if there is a more intelligent word they can use instead of a particular word.  

They ask me because they know I love english, they know i want to be an english teacher one day, and they know that I'm good with english.

I'd bet that for every example I've provided (if you think hard enough) you'll be able to think of at least one as well.

Answer 4

Do like me, move 3000km away

Answer 5

Make a list of things you want to do.  Accomplish these things and mark them off your list.  I can relate to your situation.  Any accomplishment will go a long way toward building confidence.

Good luck!