I have a problem and it needs to be fixed, can you help?

Question

im 16 and im pregnant its not a issue because im starting medical school next year and working to become a medical assistant to get my life rolling for my baby. my ex has another girlfriend and said he hopes me and the baby die and his parents feel i should abort.. so there out. next is my mom and dad. my mom isnt really close to me, we barely talk but is taking me to the doctor but constantly fighting with me over stupid things.. my "dad" and i have no relationship what so ever, he punched two holes in the living room wall when he misplaced his carkeys. i feel like this is not a good place for my baby to be raised, but adoption and abortion are out of question. i have no job and no car.. i applied everywhere, but noone really wants to hire a pregnant teen, its just reality. when i tried to place myself in a pregnancy shelter for teens my mom told the center she wants me to stay home and things will get better and they havent. any advice at all would be soo helpful, thank you so much..

Answer 1

First off, you are not starting medical school at the age of 17.  You need a four-year Bachelor's Degree in order to go to medical school.  Going to school to become a medical assistant is not going to medical school

Secondly,  two days ago, you were here asking about adoptions.  So what gives?

Answer 2

If you are 16, you have a long way to go before you will be in medical school.  This is a big issue which you cannot afford to ignore.  Your parents may have some faults and problems, but they are together and they are supporting you.  They are your best option right now.  My advice is to do the best you can to make it work with them.  Help with the housework, act like an adult, do not hide from them or sulk, or complain, or any of those things that 16-year-old girls typically do.  You are expecting a lot from yourself, so it is not going to be easy.  There is a thing called "transactional analysis" which explains how people are treated the way they let themselves be treated.  Look for the book "I'm OK, You're OK" if you're interested in that idea.  Basically... if you act like a child, your parents are going to act like parents.  If you act like an adult, then they are more likely to treat you like one.  Remember that you are co-parenting with your parents, and they are going to have opinions about the care of the child.  This is not their first go-around and they may not be the best, but if they raised you, they weren't doing too badly.  Work with them and be glad they are willing to help you.

Answer 3

I really don't know what to tell you but, when you get the baby's money use it to get a place of your own, even if it is just a 1 or 2 bedroom flat for you and the baby. The father obviously doesn't want anything to do with the baby and your baby needs at least one parent in it's life, it's all up to you now. Being a parent means putting your kid's needs before your own, your baby will thank-you when it is older for being there for it when no-one else was. Sorry to hear about your situation. Think about it, i'm sure you'll make the right decision. There are alot of single parents doing it themselves these days. Your ex sounds like he doesn't deserve the pleasure of the wonderful thing you have inside you. Best of luck!

Answer 4

Mia has very good points. It would be good for you to work things out with your mom because, you need to finish high school. You need to talk to your mom and ask her what she thinks you should do with the baby while you go to school. In order to have any kind of future you need to finish school. You do need to get an education in order to take care of the two of you. Think about it though you need to go to school for something that you will make enough money to take care of you. Please make sure to find out what kind of money you make on different jobs before you decide what you are gonna be. You said you were gonna be a medical assistant. Medical assistants do not make enough money to support them selves alone. You could go to school to be an LPN or an RN. If you are interested you might want to look into different specialties like ultrasound, radiology. There are lots of different specialties. Just check to make how much money you will make before you spend a lot of time and money on a career to find out it is not a job that can support the two of you. I don't know how your mom is acting right now but, sweety you are the one that really needs her. So If I were you I would sit down with her and tell her you really love her. Tell her this is not something you would ever planned and you didn't have a choice in this but, you are having a baby. Tell her you really need her and you hope she will help you figure out how to get an education so you will be able to keep your baby. Tell her no matter why you got pregnant this baby is still a part of you. Then ask her if she has any suggestions for you because, you need all the help you can get.

Love,

Michelle

Answer 5

First of all, I know how you feel - sort of.  I'm in a similar situation, but a lot older than you.  Don't talk to your ex or his parents at all.  It will only stress you out and make things worse.  They don't deserve to be involved with YOUR baby.  If your parents are willing to help, take a baby-sitting class and get CPR certified.  Then start looking for baby-sitting jobs.  Maybe you can set yourself up with a nice steady position where you'll be able to also take your child after he or she is born.  As for your parents' house, you'll be eighteen before you know it and hopefully you'll be in a better situation to leave.  I feel for you.  Feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to.  Good luck.