I have a problem at school. Can you please help?

Question

According to my parents, I'm not allowed to lend out stuff to people. In the past, I have had people not return things to me. I'm a very passive person and I have a hard time saying no. I don't like confrontation and I don't stand up for myself because I'm afraid someone will get back in my face. What are some suggestions besides saying no that I could use? I've thought of limiting my pens & pencils that I bring to school.

Answer 1

I had this SAME problem... what i usually did was only lend things out to my very close friends only, but if a person next to me needed a pen or pencil, i would let them borrow it and say something like "Give this back to me at the end of the block, okay?" Not too demanded but they know you need it back... as far as other stuff thats a little more important to you, say that you need it at the moment or at some point that day:) Hope this helps!  

Answer 2

If you play the victim in "life", "life" will always make you the victim.  Saying "no" IS a hard thing to do.  We all want to get along, to please others, to be accepted BUT there is a point.  You are a person, not a doormat.  You have to find those bootstraps and pull yourself up.  You could limit the # of pens you bring but that will NOT limit the number of people asking.  It appears you've made a reputation of being the "go to" person if someone needs something.  You have to break that cycle and saying "no" will break it eventually.  Stick to your guns and just say "no, sorry, I don't have any to loan".  You will eventually quit being the "go to" person and there will be someone else who will become that.  After all, where'd these people get their stuff before you came along???  

p.s. It is not silly to ask.  The only silly question is the one you didn't ask, when you should've. :D :D

Answer 3

kid i'm the same way. i used to be like that in school and i'm kinda still like that today. you have to learn to say no to people. i know it seems mean, but you can't be a "yes" guy your whole life.

Answer 4

grow up and get a backbone.  people are taking advantage of you because you have "sucker" written on your forehead.  what are you really afraid of?  rejection?  people don't respect a person who lets the world walk all over them.  you just need to learn to say no and stop enabling other people's laziness.  this will get you respect faster than handing out pencils or whatever else people fail to buy for themselves.

practice some answers like, Sorry, you're going to have to bring your own supplies.  Sorry, no.  anything that says you aren't going to play their games anymore.  DO NOT PUT this on your parents.  Sorry but my parents says I can't is truly infantile and not taking charge of your life.

Answer 5

Yup, don't take your pencil case out your bag,  just take a pencil and whatever else you need. I have the same issue, people always ask me to borrow stuff and never give it back.

When someone asks you for something, just say no, or your using it / don't have one / it's broken. Practice makes perfect. Although it may seem selfish to not lend people stuff, it's not your fault other people come to school unprepared and don't respect other people's property.

Hope this helps, good luck.  :-)