I have a problem with my husbands ex.....its not what you would think?

Question

See My husband had just found out last year that he is a father another child (this makes child number 3). Well we dont have any problems with this since the girl he was with was a friend first and then he slept with her and she took off so in a way it was a one night stand not anything he wanted. He wanted a relationship with her. Well she had taken off and she showed up in the area again and told my husband does she look like you (a picture of a baby was shown) and well my husband and i started a friendship with the mother to get to know the child there was no problems at all tell the mother took off again. I guess she went to our state to find him and she did and well last year he did a DNA test and yes its his daughter. Well last night I got a e-mail from her on my myspace account. She is looking into letting her husband adopt this child but the thing is we are already paying 25 grand for this child and keeping up with payments. the child is another state what can we do?

Answer 1

let that person adopt that child...its not about ourselves it involves the life of a child....25 grand or 1 dollar..doesn't make it an issue let the child be adopted you and the father have no emotional ties..only monetary and that is not being a parent to that child..it is being selfish...when this child has the opportunity to have a father who is involved in their life ...it is for the benefit of this child who can not choose for themselves....set aside your emotions ...money and think what is best for the child...he/she did not ask for this mess created by the mother and the bio father...so its time to step up to the plate and give that child a chance at life with an active father...the bio fathers greatest gift to the child is to let go and let the child have a DAD

Answer 2

He doesn't have to sign off on it.  His daughter too, his choice.

Answer 3

If her husband adopts the child, you will no longer have to pay child support.  It is up to you and your husband.  Your husband can say no.  Since you are paying child support, you are entitled to visitation.  I would a consult a lawyer from the state they reside in.  It would be easiest for custody issues if you actually moved there.

Answer 4

If your husband dose not want to give up his rights he  dose not have to... remember it is every bit as much his child as it is her's. Get a lawyer and go back to court. Get an order in place that she MUST notify you prior to moving and must keep your husband informed as to her address at  all times. Also even if you live far away get a visitation order in place. He is paying his child support so he has that right! Just because he is the man and normally plays second fiddle dose not mean he HAS to...if he wants to be in the child's life he has every right and the mother can not stop him!

Answer 5

Your husband should not give up his rights and should get a lawyer. Seems to me this woman was basically scamming him. Think about it. She wants a man she has known less than a year to adopt the child?  If he wasn't in the picture, why did she push for child support when she never told him about the child in the first place?  If he was in the picture, he was part of it.

A friend of my boss's was heavily pressured to give up rights to his son (then 8).  As an adult, the son was so glad his dad never gave up, even though they didn't get to see each other.  Georgia doesn't support the right of father's to see their kids.  

In many states, the custodial parent cannot remove the child from the state without agreement of the non-custodial parent.   Your husband's lawyer can check into this as well.

Answer 6

Your husband should assert his rights if he wants to maintain them. That means getting a visitation and joint custody order in place. This would prevent the mother from just taking off again and require her to allow your husband parental access..

I suggest he get a lawyer, ASAP

Answer 7

If your husband wants to have a relationship then he most definitely should not let her be adopted by this other man!  He will then have no legal rights as a father.  It sounds like he really doesn't want to do this, so he should hold firm and tell her NO.

Answer 8

If her husband wants to adopt the child, how does your husband feel about that?

If the other guy adopted the baby, at least you won't have to continue making child support payments on a child (it sounds like) he has no relationship with anyway.

She sounds like a real winner - hides pregnancy from him, shows up later demands a DNA test and starts collecting child support just until some other dude can adopt? Sounds like she was just running game on you two to get the money. She obviously doesn't care a stitch about your husband and his rights as a father.

Answer 9

i think your husband should get full custody of her because he has a right to see her at  longs as he is paying his child support at least give the little girl a chance to meet him and spend some quality time with her and then let her choose who she want to be with either one would work

Answer 10

contact the attorney general as long as the father is up with payments of child support, he doesn't lose his rights