I have a question about circumcision, I'm confused. Help?

Question

I don't really want a debate, I just am confused about something. We don't know if we're having a boy or girl, but if we have a boy my husband doesn't want to circumcise.

My husband was born in 1979. He wasn't circumcised, to quote my mother in law, because "all the little babies screamed so hard and they were in so much pain I couldn't do it to him."

He wasn't circumcised, but he was STRETCHED: (I wince when I think of this) the doctor took a long, thin blunt instrument, and put it deep down between his p***s and f******n, and ran it around the p***s quickly. Apparently that made him scream and cry and he was very sore. The doctor did this so the p***s could be cleaned- then, even on such a little baby, my mother in law could slide his f******n down and clean him. My mother in law says that if you don't retract a baby's f******n and clean the p***s scrupulously, the baby boys get infections.

I've never heard of this. My mother in law insists that she looked after my husband's cousin, and they didn't clean under the baby's f******n and he got a horrible infection.

I have been reading that you are never to retract an uncircumcised baby's f******n, that it can damage it and cause the bacteria to multiply, that the p***s and f******n are self cleaning.

Have you ever heard of "stretching" a newborn's p***s with an instrument like that? And is it true that you have to pull down a baby's f******n to clean it?

Answer 1

I've never heard that ever! It sounds awful! You do NOT pull a baby's f******n down to clean it. It's attached like your fingernail is attached to your finger. That would hurt right? You simply clean it like it is a finger. That's all you have to do. The f******n will eventually loosen on it's own and with the help of your (maybe) son.

ETA: My son is intact and has never had any infections. Like I said above, I just clean it like it's a finger! No need to do anything else until it loosens ON ITS OWN. Forcing it back to clean it could actually cause infection, not prevent it!

Answer 2

I dont think we as a species would have survived to this day if circumsision or stretching of foreskins were necessary.  The body naturally is made to work best.  I doubt "scrupulous" cleaning is necessary.  I was walking with a doctor once and a little boy came in.  She looked at him and pulled it back and told him to pull it back and keep it very clean.  Im sure this pediatrician knew what she was talking about.

Answer 3

That's horrible. I can't believe that the doctor managed to force his ignorance upon your husband as an infant even though his mother refused circumcision.

That doctor was an arrogant fool. You do not need to retract an infants f******n and it is sexual abuse to do so. If a doctor forced an instrument into a baby girl and caused tearing, where would he end up? In prison, I hope.

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.o...

Please don't have your son circumcised. I am a circumcised man and it was not botched but I feel that I was mutilated against my will.

I am actually in the process of restoring my f******n non-surgically as I am extremely angry and disappointed that a healthy, functioning part of my body was removed for no good reason other than societal customs.

The risks are very small, but many boys have lost their penises due to botched circumcisions and some have even died due to bleeding or infection.

The risk is very small but it is a risk that I would never even consider when the alternative is to leave my son the way that he is intended to be and carries no risk of death or disfigurement.

http://www.icgi.org/

http://www.noharmm.org

http://www.nocirc.org

I think that it is important for everyone to read what's behind the following link.

http://knol.google.com/k/george-hill/cir...

PS - If you have Netflix, or Blockbuster Online I STRONGLY recommend that you watch the documentary, "The Business of Being Born". Everyone thinks of hospitals as the place to give birth but countries that have higher percentages of assisted home births have lower rates of maternal and infant mortality. A hospital birth is one that gives no respect to the way a woman's body works or her right to a natural birth.

http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/

Answer 4

that is what they use to do but now the the doctor  ( most anyway ) know that pulling a baby for skin back is can actually cause damage to the p***s.  I have 2 boy that are not circumcised  you just bath him like normal and diaper changes just wipe him off  with a wipe.  

Infection is not a real reason to circumcise.  My boys have never had an UTI  but my daughter has had a few  ( so what dose that mean  she needs to be circumcised? NOT )

Here is a few links on how to care for a uncircumcised baby's p***s.

http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/aap//

http://www.nocirc.org/publish/pamphlet4....

  edited to add  that the greater risk of HIV in uncircumcised males is higher  well there are studies also that find that  to be untrue.

http://www.cirp.org/library/disease/HIV/...

On occasion, a male is born without a f******n. This abnormality, called aposthia, occurs very rarely. When it does, hospital records must report it as a birth defect. It is truly ironic to think that this unusual defect is forced upon more than half of the males born in our country.

Answer 5

My husband did not want our son circumcised, he is now 6.  My doctor was also adamant that it is unnecessary.  We were instructed that you should never retract the f******n also.  We cleaned the tip of the p***s, and he never had any issues.  No infections at all.  As he gets older and hits puberty he will be taught to clean properly and told what can happen if he doesnt.

I was unsure about deciding not to circumcise him, but thought that my husband should ultimately make the decision.

Best of luck if you do have a son :)

Answer 6

Humans have been on earth for centuries now and if foreskins were unnecessary we wouldnt have them at all.

They would have been done away with through the natural process of evolution.

Me or anyone in my family or broadly my relegion(hinduism) are not circumsized and it has been so for generations now.

We never suffer any problems.

Problems will occur if poor hygeine is maintained so, as long as your son can keep himself clean all his life he should do just fine.

Please check up on the benefits v/s the pain you put a child through (which i think is wrong) before you go into it.

Answer 7

That doctor was very wrong and could have caused your husband permanent damage by doing that.  What the doctor did to your husband is the first step in circumcision and is excruciatingly painful, like pulling a fingernail off.  Doctors know better now days (or they should, anyway).

You should NEVER was under a baby's f******n.  The f******n is fused to the p***s at birth and there is no cavity for germs to collect and breed in.  Until the boy pulls his f******n back himself, there is no need whatsoever to pull the f******n back and clean under it.

My 5-year-old has been retractable since he was 18-months-old and an ignorant doctor forced his f******n back.  He started pulling it back himself a few weeks later.  It would be okay to rinse it with water, but I don't bother to at his age.  His dad and I will teach him to wash under it some time before he hits puberty, but for now I just leave it alone.  I don't know if my 2-year-old is retractable yet.  I've never seen him pull it back and I'm not going to try.  Neither has ever had an infection.

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.o...  

Answer 8

If I had a baby boy I wouldn't circumcise him because it's not necessary.

What happened to your husband is horrible and should not be done. In babies the f******n is attached to the glans. That's normal. You don't need to clean between the f******n and the glans, because you can't. And no dirt gets in there because they're attached, so there's nothing to clean! All you are supposed to do is wipe the outside, sadly a lot of people don't know this including doctors (especially back then) because they are used to circumcision as the norm, so they thought it was right to forcibly separate the f******n and the glans! It causes a lot of damage, but if allowed to heal, it's ok. If the f******n is constantly ripped off before it can re-attach, that can cause a lot of problems in the area, mostly diminishing sensitivity.

It's easy to take care of an infant who hasn't been circumcised, just wash the outside, the part you can see and don't meddle with the f******n. Somehow in non-circumcising countries people can manage that just fine and infections are rare and treated when they arise! I know loads of intact boys and men including my boyfriend and they had not had any problems down there.

Harriet

Answer 9

You are totally right to be suspiscious! An infant's intact p***s should NEVER be retracted! As long as the f******n is not retractable, it should be left alone and only the outside should be wiped when cleaning.

When the f******n becomes retractable, then, it just needs to be retracted in the bath/shower to clean with water. The intact babies whose skin is forcibly retracted are more at risk of infection, especially if cleaning products are used.

Basically, an infant's intact p***s is the easiest thing in the world, you just need to leave it alone! :)

I have two intact boys. They are 3 and 4 1/2 and both just had their skin retract. I have just started teaching them to clean in the bath, that is all there is to it. They have never had an issue with their f******n or a UTI.

You will read a lot of uninformed answers from pro-circumciser, I suggest you listen to people like me who actually have experience.

And, by the way, congrats on your pregnancy! :)

Answer 10

my son is cut but i will not be having my next son done if i should have another boy- i've done plenty of research to learn my lesson. You should NEVER retract the forsekin of a baby- within time the f******n will become retractable within time. retracting it before hand can cause pain andd injury and actuallly introduce bacteria causing an infection. f******n isn't retractable for some time. they will probably figure it out on their own- ask your ped about it or you can even ask to speak to the docotr who performs the circs and he will advise you on what to do with it.

a doctor today would never do that for one and most peds today reccomend against circumcision. even teh doctors who perform them state that they are nothing butu a cosmetic procedure

circumcision are NOT best for baby and whoever says that obviously hasn't done their research- like i siad most doctors today would advise agaisnt it because their are no medical benefits and only 20% of men in the world are circumcized. now, only about 50% of boys are cut todad in the US with the raztes declining

Answer 11

Go with the circumcision it is less painful than the complications from not doing so. I have seen skin completely block ones trac from bad stretching and at a later age complication during intercourse and the repairs horribly painful. It's also more hygenic to do so.

Answer 12

your poor husband to go through that suffering as a baby. it almost would have been better to just circumcise him. regretfully, we did circumcise our sons for cosmetic reasons. there is nothing wrong with not getting your son done. please though, NEVER EVER allow a doctor to manipulate your sons p***s for any reason. that can cause adhesion's that are painful. your sons p***s will gradually loosen by 4-5 yrs than you can teach him to pull his f******n back and clean it. mothering .com has a great forum about circumcision. you will be able to find great advice on f******n care etc.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/

good luck with your decision.

Answer 13

Never heard of stretching but it sounds worse then circumcision. I wasn't there when my son was circumcised so I didn't hear any screaming. If infection is the worry, why not revisit the idea of circumcising? Just because your husband isn't doesn't mean your son can't be. I would ask your husband (not mother-in-law) more questions as to why he wouldn't want his son to have it done.

Answer 14

Never heard of the stretching procedure, but I think you'd be making a good decision if you don't circumcise. Its so unnecessary in the developed world where sanitation is adequate, and it is a painful and irreversible procedure. The rates have declined in the US from 80% to 50% nowadays anyway, and the AAP doesn't even recommend it, saying "it is not essential to the child's wellbeing".

Your MIL must've had some bad advice from a dodgy doctor back in the 70s. A baby boy's f******n does NOT have to be retracted to be cleaned. Please read these useful websites for all the information you would ever need:

http://www.circumstitions.com/Care.html

http://www.circumstitions.com/Itsaboy.ht...

Answer 15

I have not heard of doctors routinely forcing separation of the f******n and the glans for anything other than circumcision. It is excruciatingly painful, the f******n is fused to the glans in the same way that your nails are attached to your fingers.

A lot of things that used to be done often are not done at all anymore. What was considered good practice when your husband was a baby is not necessarily what is recommended today.

I have, however, heard of ignorant doctors who think that boys should be retractable at a young age- a few month or a few years and forcibly retracting the f******n. This is an unfortunate by product of the high circumcision rates a few decades ago- these doctors, having never cared for an intact p***s themselves, have no knowledge as to proper intact care. It is always best to discuss your expectations about absolutely NO retraction upon first meeting the doctor, before letting them anywhere near your son.

It is not true that you need to retract a baby's f******n. It is completely connected to the head. There is no space for germs to get stuck. The p***s cleans itself. You don't go rooting around in the folds of a baby girls v***a, a baby boy is no different.

Cleaning an intact boy is simple- wash the outside like a finger, and leave it alone. It is best to avoid harsh soaps. Even bubble baths can irritate a boy (just like they irritate girls). Plain water will suffice.

The first person to retract a boy's f******n should be the boy himself. A study in Europe, where circumcision is extremely uncommon, found that the average age of retraction was between 10 and 12 years old. Some boys retract earlier, and some boys do not retract until they pass puberty. All are normal. Even if your son is retrable, there is no special cleaning need. When he hits puberty, then he needs to start retracting and washing underneath- just add it to his puberty talk as one of the new hygenie procedures he'll have to do now that he's grown. He'll figuire it out, you don't need to show him, just explain it (along with using deodarant, shaving, etc etc)

Congrats on the new addition! If you need more information about circumcision or care of an intact boy, feel free to contact me. I'd be more than willing to send you more information and some links. -Neb

Answer 16

They perpetrate all sorts of genital torture on male babies, it's illegal to even prick a baby girl's genitals with a pin.     Sexist, and unconstitutional.    Where are equal rights for males?

Doctors themselves are frequently members of the minority religions perpetrating male genital mutilation on others, and have no idea about the actual purpose of a f******n, all they want to do is chop them off and collect the money.

In this country, circumcision was so widespread a few years ago that people still think that an infant's f******n is supposed to be retracted and cleaned.      That damages the f******n's elasticity, causing phimosis and infections.    

n Europe, South America, Asia--most of the rest of the world in fact, they don't mutilate their baby boys when they first come into the world, and they function very well, as evidenced by the birthrates.

Most doctors and nurses and many parents are ignorant of the proper care of infant boys' genitals, which is mainly "leave it alone!"    The surface should be washed with normal bathing, but NEVER retracted forcibly.     Sometimes I wonder if the doctors do this deliberately.

If you have questions about infant care, contact NOCIRC, simply type it in on your browser, you can also look at the CIRCUMSTITIONS website.     NOCIRC is an organization founded by a nurse, Marilyn Milos, who saw the cruel, savage brutality of circumcision and refused to be a party to it.

I am a victim of male genital mutilation.     In my case the nerve damage and resulting lack of sensitivity were greater than most, making it impossible for me to achieve o****m in normal s*x.

That is why I am so adamantly opposed to male genital mutilation.

I have anger and depression over what was done to me, both at my parents  (deceased) and the medical profession that still practices this atrocity on helpless infants.      Genital integrity is a basic human right that needs to be protected by law.

Thank you for posting this.   It may save others from the unnecessary mutilation.

A f******n is not a birth defect; it is a birthright.

Answer 17

I've never heard of that before! You NEVER retract a baby's f******n!! NEVER EVER!! Even when my son's pediatrician asked if I was getting it done and I said no he said great so there's absolutely nothing you need to do for it, just LEAVE IT ALONE. It will retract on it's own when he gets older. And it's NOT true that if you don't retract it it will be dirty and cause infections.

You don't need to do ANYTHING for it. My son will be 8 months on Wednesday and he's never had any kind of infection.

PS- My reason for not getting it done is because it's the way ALL boys are born and there's no reason to change something natural. If he wants it done when he's older, HE gets to decide, I won't be making the choice FOR him.

Answer 18

Don't ever ever ever pull a f******n back. It will eventually retract on its own between four years old and puberty. I just wipe him up like normal and that's that. When he's older you will have to teach him to pull it back while bathing, or better yet get hubby to do it since he's experienced in that sort of matter.

Answer 19

No No No! Never retract, and don't allow a doctor to do it either!  The f******n is fused to the p***s like the fingernail is fused to the nail bed.  How do you clean between your nail bed and your nail?  The answer is, you don't.

Do people typically get infections between the nail bed and the nail? No.  Do you think they would get infections  if they peeled their fingernails back daily in a painful bloody mess?  Yes.

How do you care for an intact p***s?  It's extremely easy.  You don't need to do anything.  I personally only use wipes when there's p**p in the diaper, and if any gets on the p***s, just wipe it off like you would any other part of the body.

Caring for an intact p***s is ridiculously easy.

Answer 20

I've never heard of "stretching" and from doing research know that you are never to put the baby's f******n down to clean it.  Sometimes, the "old ways" are the wrong ways.  Always check with your doctor first before doing anything that you have questions about that family is telling you to do.  And when the family asks you why you're not doing it "their way" tell them, "The doctor said....."  and that usually makes everyone stop giving you advice.

Answer 21

A intact infant f******n needs no cleaning. The p***s forms as one organ and at birth the f******n is usually fused to the glans like a fingernail to its finger. So there is no cavity for germs and dirt to collect in until it separates naturally later; sometimes not till puberty or later. Only the boy himself should retract it and then he can be taught to skin back and rinse with plain water regularly.

Misguided attempts to retract too early, often by doctors and nurses, are the main cause of damage to boys’ foreskins and the real main reason for childhood circumcisions.

To perform a neo-natal circumcision the circumciser has to rip the f******n away from the glans with forceps. Then the f******n is either cut away or clamped until it falls off. Both methods cause the baby extreme pain and his raw glans and wound sting every time he urinates. It's quite common for the raw edges of the cut f******n to fuse to the raw glans during the healing process, forming skin bridges or tags. These complications and other more serious ones are often not found till puberty and do not show up in complication statistics.

More serious complications, though not common are immediate. Some babies lose their p***s to infection, bleed profusely (often because they are haemophiliac) or even die each year.  

Answer 22

YOUR HUSBAND'S DOCTOR WAS AN IGNORANT BUTCHER!  A baby's  f******n is naturally fused to the glans for at least a couple of years.  That invasive cutting his doctor did is nearly as bad as circumcision itself.  Let your son decide for himself if he wants to be mutilated, when he reaches 18...few grown men do.

The cost is more than the dollars. There is a cost in depriving him of an important part of his sexuality. The f******n is meant to slide back and forth during intercourse, and give pleasurable sensations. And the glans of circumcised men gets keratinized(desensitised) over time. Circumcised men have to bang away frantically to get even part of the sensations avaliable to uncircumcised men, And don't believe the BS about doing it for hygiene reasons. Ten seconds is all it takes to wash oneself daily. You will smell better as well.

Check out these n Google:

Mothers against cicrcumcision

Doctors opposed to circumcision

Catholics against circumcision

Muslims against circumcision

Jews against circumcision.

Source(s):

Uncircumcised and thankful it was left to me to decide for myself.

3 days ago

Answer 23

I've never heard of the streching either.  But you DO have retract the skin so that you can clean the p***s.  The reason babies are circumsized to begin with is the fact that if you do not circumsize, they are more prone to infections/ bladder infections from the bacteria.  

Answer 24

CIRCUMCISE!!!!! It is true you have to pull it down to wipe if not circumcized. It is more prone to infection. I recommend doing it when they are born. They give them some tylenol and it takes about two minutes. Talk to your doctor and maybe view a circucision at your hospital. (my hospital allowed me with the consent of the parents of course). It is not as painful as a lifetime of infections for your little guy.

I had a boy and decided to do it because the long term problems are greater with a uncircumcised boy.

as for stretching. yes it does happen in severe cases of infection. my cousin had it done at age 5, 7, 11 and 14. very painful.

Answer 25

I would circumcise, I know you are h**l bent on not doing it but it's really best for the baby. My son didn't cry at all during his circumcision he was very calm. I know a guy that was uncircumcised and he was always getting bladder infections (as an adult)

Answer 26

You are correct about not retracting a baby's f******n. It is fused to the head until about 5 years of age, sometimes longer. Until the boy can retract it himself you only need to clean whats visible. You don't need to scrub either. I have two boys. My oldest I had circumcised because although I didn't really want to have him done, I didn't know too much about it and my husband insisted. The second time around I was much more informed. I refused to have our second son circumcised. There is really no need to have it done. I have had no problems with my uncircumcised sons p***s. I've had few problems with my circumcised sons p***s. He was cut and somehow, even though I took care of it properly (which is a huge hassle compared to my uncut sons p***s) the little skin that was left adhered to his head again. So much for being easier to keep clean. I still pray that my oldest will forgive me for letting someone cut away a piece of his once perfect body. Bottom line, I don't think you should get your son circumcised or stretched. Keep him perfect the way he is when he is born. Good luck and congratulations.

Edit: And for Mz.Rahi_Mami, who insulted Jillian's intelligence. You said your son didn't scream and it was done in your own living room?! Well that's strange considering that the stretching that you said would cause pain and screaming is part of the circumcision procedure!  How can circumcision not be painful when the f******n is not only stretched but ripped off the glans and then cut?!!