I have a question about foster parenting/adopting?

Question

My husband and I are planning to be foster parents, but we have to wait until Feb. to start paper work and stuff b/c we haven't been married for two years yet, it'll be two years in August, but they said we could start the paper work in Feb. I was reading, and I don't know if I'd be able to do foster care, I don't think I could go through the pain of giving a child back, not knowing for sure if it was safe or not... So I was looking at adopting going through DHS, and it was saying at least one applicant had to do pre-service training, could someone tell me what that is? Also what else we'd have to do? Also, I was wandering if I should start buying like a baby bed, carseat, toddler bed, swing, etc. or should I wait until a child is in the home? I'm new to all this, and don't really know what I could be doing now to get prepared... I'd love to do foster care also, but just don't know if I could. Also can't I pick the age? I'd like to have 0-3yrs, would they let me pick that age?

Answer 1

I am a foster parent and all the questions you asked I asked too.

The training is to let you know the laws and help you know how to discipline children with out hitting them, ie spanking them.  It also gives you real life scenarios that you might go through.  The training is 27hours and both parents have to attend it.  (that is Oklahoma Laws some states it might be different)  It took us almost 4 months to be completed with paper work, your home study, back ground checks and training before we got our first placement.  We had a crib and an extra bed already.  The main thing is to show you can provide for the children.  You will need a carseat also if you are planning on doing children under 3.  My first placement was the hardest one.  It was the one I got attached to the quickest and but I have had 9 placements just this year so letting them go sometimes isn't as hard as it seems.  The children might not mesh with your home or they need a special type of home.  You can chose the age.  We caped at 6yrs until this past year and i went up to 13. But deep down I am always waiting for that next baby call.  you can also try it and if you can't handle it DHS will not get mad at you and say your not worthy, they know know that not everyone can be a foster parent it is a very demanding job and take special people to be foster parents.

Answer 2

tough one! well do not get anything yet for the baby until something is final the pre service training is more like  to prepare u for things to come about the whole process of foster or adoption but i think adoption is best that way u won't get attached to the child and then have to give it back then neither of u would be hurt u no and then through foster care u can also do adoption it's a long process but worth it as of the choosing thing i'am not quiet sure so good luck

Answer 3

i am a foster parent yes u do have choices on there ages but when u actually get a call and there in need of a home and they think u would make a good foster parent for this child/children then u will get the gut feeling if there 4 u~~`now u will be informed upon a little of the bk ground situation if u want to take kids from what they were taken away from for what ever reason then the need to be placed into your home~~~now i think the main thing u will want to get ahead of time will be a crib a few twin beds because many will have a sibling`~~they like to keep them together if possible~~~so get ready and remember u r there for them at a highly critical time in there life then when its time for them to leave u will cry ~it OK then they move on some day maybe u will c them also if its OK with the bio-logical parents alot of times u can keep contact ~~so its a good~~~welcome friend we need foster parents badly and may u enjoy your hand in the Handy work of the Lord

Answer 4

First of all good luck.  Either direction you decide to go is a long process.  Now every state would love to have more foster care families.  They are the hardest to find.  My husband and I just completed the training classes this year.  I did my classes in March and my husband did his in August.  Everyone has to take the same classes no matter if you decide to foster or adopt.  We are trying to adopt.  We decided a long time ago that we could never foster.  I couldn't take a child into my home and then give him or her back to a horrible situation.  Sometimes they will go back and everything will work out but usually not.  As far as the training goes it's not bad.  It takes a month of Saturdays all day long but then it's over.  The reason for the classes is kind of an overview of the kind of kids DHS gets and what some of their problems may be.  What kind of homes they come from and some of the baggage that they carry.  And then they give you ways to deal with that baggage.  You also have a ton of paper work to fill out, a home study to do, and background checks, fingerprints, and references.  Yes, it really is a lot.  I wouldn't start to buy anything yet.  It really is a long process.  The age groups are broken up from 0-5.  But there really aren't many babies.  Just thought I'd warn you about that.  What babies there are are really hard to get because everyone wants a baby.  I hope this has helped and not discouraged you.  Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

I'm not sure what state you are in, so things might vary from state to state, but our pre-service training prepares you for the children coming into your home.  It helps you to better understand abused and neglected children.  It also gives you an overview of the system and how things work.  You will want to have everything ready, especially for the homestudy, where they will come to your home and check it out.  Since you want younger children, I would also suggested baby-proofing your home, cabinet locks, outlet plug covers, etc.  Yes you do get to pick the age group you want.  Just remember, almost everyone else wants the younger children too, so it might take longer to get a child in your home.