I have a question about white culture

Question

I'm black & have been around all types of people. One thing I've noticed is that sometimes they don't come out & say what they have to say. I'm used to the direct method. I've noticed this when there is a conflict or if they're trying to insult me. Sometimes, I get confused b/c I can't decipher some of the mixed messages. How can I deal with this?

Answer 1

Well, white people in general are afraid to speak our minds because when we do, people pull the race card on us, then we're screwed for life.  

Answer 2

I think thats called passive aggressive;

Ill get the definition

4. Passive Aggressive

A defense mechanism that allows people who aren't comfortable being openly aggressive get what they want under the guise of still trying to please others. They want their way, but they also want everyone to still like them.

Jane: It's time to go, we really should get going now.

Passive Aggressive Ann: Oh...okay. I just...well okay, I GUESS we can leave now.

Jane: Ann, do you want to stay? Is that what you're trying to get at?

Passive Aggressive Ann: Huh? Oh no, we can leave if YOU want. I just didn't get to do everything I wanted to do yet, but no no, we can go I guess.

Jane: God dammit Ann! Fine, we'll stay, are you happy?

Passive Aggressive Ann: Oh okay! Yeah! That sounds great too!

(Ann got her way without having to openly ask for it)

-----Yeah I hope that helped..?

Answer 3

Im white and dont relly pay atention to the skin colers i am somwhat coler blind which is great becouse i dont judge people on there skin colers becouse every one is prity much the same coler just a difrent shad and so i cant relly help you with that but you could just give them the same fealing they give you just to let them have a fealing of what you feal or just ask them whats up with them acting like they do .

Answer 4

talk to the person you are havingg conflict with. All people react differently to different situations I know exactly what you are talking about too. I guess there might be a certain amount of fear involved, butdon'tt get it twisted, not all are afraid or unwilling to give you a piece of their mind. It is an individual thing. Talk to the individual and watch them run.lol

Answer 5

I didn't know we had a culture. This is great.

I don't know if it is a racial thing, but a lot of people I know who are white, do hold back what they really mean. I guess most of us aren't exactly the "in your face" type.

Answer 6

Your question is loaded and separates people based on skin color.

Continue to be direct and try not to get too involved with those you find confusing.

Answer 7

Prejudice is real but beware of paranoia.  You could be imagining some things.  I heard a black girl on the radio who complained about a white girl she saw on the escalator.  The white girl moved her head quickly to put her hair back in place.  The black girl thought she was showing off the fact that her hair was not like the black girl's.  Your coherent writing shows you are more educated than most people irregardless of what degrees you have on the wall.  You remind me of a Harvard educated black guy I saw briefly on TV.  He said he is paying the price for all the black guys going around with their caps on backwards.  Suggested reading:  "My Grandfather's Son"  by Clarence Thomas.  We judge racial groups in large part by the actions of individuals.  After reading your well written question black stock has gone up with me.