I have a question for PARENTS / WOULD BE PARENTS?

Question

i believe that most of the time having kids changes the way you see the world, do you think this is true?

what you think is right or wrong or moral or immoral as a teenager may not be what you think it is as a grown adult with a child.

and i do not believe it is hypocritical, more changing and maturing to life's experiences.

what do you think?

Answer 1

I found that my moral compass hasn't changed but my priorities have shifted a little. I have a 14mth old boy and am 31wks with baby#2. I am more focused on family life and encouraging individuality in each member of my family including myself.  Not to say that I live my life as an immature teen, but that I was raised to be a responsible adult for majority of my life, so it just makes sense for my life to come this way.

Answer 2

It does change everything.  I guess before kids you don't really care because you have no responsibilities, but you definately care when you have children.  You are constantly protecting them from the world.  There are way too many wrongs that are very clearly seen through your eyes!

Answer 3

i now what you mean you have to grow up really fast and its dead scary at first

Answer 4

There is no doubt that having a child changes the way you see the world.  I think that to decide what is moral/immoral is what you believe in yourself, and you can not get other people's answer because we all have our own perspective.  I know quite a few people who had children while being teenagers, though it is looked down upon, it is possible for it to happen and turn out great.  It COULD make a teenager more mature, but that is not necessarily the case.  Once a baby is brought into the world (if for example by a teenager), there is no turning back, so therefore it must be accepted by family, friends, and so on.  It is a new adjustment.

Answer 5

I think most of the stupid restrictive and anal rules and reg.s my parents had became reasonable, logical and right when I became one. For many people this is the first time they have ever had to be responsible for another life. How could it do anything but change a sane persons view. How many times I heard my parents voice saying shut off that light or pick up your room ETC. coming out of my own mouth. No wonder parents wish we have children just like us. lol. The rewards are worth the change and sacrifice.

Answer 6

Having a child changes some of your views of the way you see the world, but not completely.  Altho there are things I've done as a teen that I would not want either of my kids to do, if they do, I can't be a hypocrite and chastise them for it.  I have to do the best parenting I can to help them not make the same mistakes I did, but if they do make them, I will be there for them.

Answer 7

Agreed....changes the way you see everything....

Answer 8

Interesting question.

I think that having children does change one's life and the way people see the world.

Many people's version of morality will change with age.  Mine certainly has on certain issues though I have remained pretty open on others.  I don't think I was trying to be immoral back then, rather, I was limited by experience and indeed maturity.  We reason differently as time moves on.

I don't think it is hypocritical either.  People who cannot change their points of view to expand with new knowledge of a situation are very self limiting and actually very frightening people.  This is one of the reasons I get frustrated when "good" people in politics are slapped for changing positions on things.  Well, based on set of facts a, b, c & d a person might reason one way and draw a conclusion for the best course of action but that same person might need to re-evaluate and change directions once e, f & g are included in the equation.  To not change in light of new information is to be a fool.

Answer 9

Absolutely. Just being 27 weeks pregnant (like me!) changes things. I love this baby so very much, and oh, my....I would do anything for her. I would do anything to spare her pain, to make her happy. As a child/teen/young adult, you see things in a more 'me' based way. It's natural to look at things like that...you just simply don't have the ability to see things from an parent prospect all the time (not saying that some can't guess, but you can't know). Being a parent is so hard and wonderful, it changes you completely...inside out. I promise that if kids were parents for 6 months and then went back to being kids, they'd view their own parents in a completely different light. This is not saying anything negative againist kids, no one WANTS them to be adults before they are ready. But there is a difference

Answer 10

yes i agree that having a child or children changes you, but i believe that it truly changes you for the better, puts your life on the right track, and sets your priorities

Answer 11

Yes it is true.

Answer 12

agreed 100% they way i view things now is totally different from before i had a baby. before having a baby i wouldnt think twice about getting in the car after a long night out at the bar now i wont even go to the bar let alone let someone who as been drinking drive me anywhere i dont care if its only a block away. now before i do anything i think about how it will affect my son

Answer 13

Having children not only changes the way you see things, but you no longer can be selfish and you learn a great deal about love and sacrifice and forgiveness.  I love being a mother.

Answer 14

i agree......especially because you are now responsible for a human being of your own.

Answer 15

i believe that most of the time having kids changes the way you see the world, do you think this is true?

absolutely true. they are my heroes.

what you think is right or wrong or moral or immoral as a teenager may not be what you think it is as a grown adult with a child.

exactly.

and i do not believe it is hypocritical, more changing and maturing to life's experiences.

absolutely correct!

what do you think?

you're exactly on target with your own thoughts.

Answer 16

Yep, It's an eye opening experience. The things which once seemed so important no longer seem to matter. It's the natural progression of life :)

God Bless!

Answer 17

Yes it is very true...you outlook on life is completly changed.

I would die if my kids saw me smoking and if I let a curse word exit my mouth I freak out...you can't tell your kids not to say $H!T when you are saying it, you can't tell them not to smoke if you are doing it in front of them...etc etc