I have a really big problem, its his friends..?

Question

im caitlin 16 and 4 months pregnant. my ex of two years doesnt want anything to do with me or the baby and his parents wanted me to get an abortion. im doing it on my own. ill be starting parenting classes, training to be a medical assistant, and working hard to be a single mommy. he got a new girlfriend and all of jarreds friends are like HAHA YOUR A DAD on his facebook wall, and sending him things like DAD I LOVEYOU and hes getting mad.. and i think they are driving him away, they are making fun of him so he wants nothing to do with me or the baby.. i dont fully blame them, but come on, they should stop... should i do something? jarred wont talk to me and i feel like they are just giving him more of a reason not to be in the babys life..

Answer 1

You're right, I do think that Jarred's friends ARE causing him to pull away more. However, he was already pulling away, wasn't he? Just face it: he doesn't want to be involved in your life, or your baby's life. You're really young, and I don't think that he's ready, as boys mature slower than girls. However, that still doesn't excuse his behavior. He has fathered a child. He had s*x with you, knowing the potential consequences, and now he needs to be responsible. Even if he doesn't want to be a daddy, he still needs to support you. Talk to your family lawyer, and ask him about child support, if it would be possible in your situation.

I wouldn't worry about Jarred. If he wants to be a dad, he will get in contact with you. Until then, just stay away. You don't want an irresponsible, scared, and immature guy as your boyfriend and your child's father, anyway.

I wish you ALL the best with your baby- five months, and you'll be a mommy! Good luck, and I hope you have a wonderful life with your baby. :-)

Answer 2

in my 22 years about to be 23 i have realized that no matter how hard you want someone to be a certain way you can't make them.  I stand behind your decision about keeping the baby 100% if you're able to provide for it.  I fell in love with the most wonderful man you could ever imagine then i got pregnant...my grandparents made me get an abortion and then my boyfriend proposed to me out of pitty i assume but it looks to me that your boyfriend is still just a kid himself h**l my boyfriend right now is 21 and still acts very young.  I think this guy should be in the baby's life and he will realize this...maybe not know but in time and then you guys will be able to talk and grow together as parents in unknown territory so congradulations and good luck on motherhood!!

Answer 3

Wow, I really admire your courage and strength to make a good life for your child. You are awesome! I think you need to let your baby's father come to terms with fatherhood on his own time. Unfortunately that means you are going to have a really hard road, but you cannot control what his friends are going to say and you also cannot control his feelings or reactions in regards to your child. I think it would be best to apporach him in an understanding and caring manner. Maybe call him or invite him over and say something like, " I know this is really hard and I understand that you are scared. I am really going to make this work and I would love to have you in our child's life." If you take a more sensitive route he might come around more easily.

If not, then remember you are doing a wonderful thing in raising this child and bettering yourself. His friends are idiots and if he wants to go off and be with his retarded friends than be a father to his child he is going to have to live with that. Just remember that he is the father and he does have a right to be with the child, regardless of his girlfriend or friends (just make sure its a safe situation ok :)) You are doing awesome and I wish the best for you and your soon to be beautiful child!

Answer 4

hunny your young and have alot ahead of you.... mad respect to you though being a single mom  is hard i was one for 2 years until i met and married my husband. but within that time it was just easier to do things on my own. trust me having ur babies dad around isnt all thats its cracked up to be. my babies dad wanted nothing to do with her but i pushed her on him and then i blew up in my face he now uses her as a weapon and tool. i would seriously cut all tyes with him and his family. you made a brave choice to have this child now its time to really grow up and do whats best for you and this child. sounds like ur off to a good start and as far as his friends go dont even give a c**p about what they say and dont go following him around trust me you will regret it when he does take an interest and files for custody and u have no choice but to give him the baby every other weekend or whatever then think about how his new g.f. will treat ur baby she might abuse it or they might treat it bad or hurt it think this through

Answer 5

well first off, good for you for taking responsibility and doing the best you can. 2nd he has to make that decision for himself, no one can make it for him, and his friends will not effect his decision in the long run, i would say move on, and make him pay child support

Answer 6

Hi Caitlin, I'm sorry that you are going through all of this at such a young age and I can tell that you are really trying to make the best of your life to provide for your baby.  Jarred may be getting teased by his friends online and that is making him mad but if he really wanted to be with you and accept responsibility for his child the teasing would not stop him.  You really can't change that so understand that he does not seem to have been mature enough to handle creating a baby and being a Dad at this time and he may never accept it.  Yes, his friends are also being very immature and they shouldn't be doing this to him.  You need to keep up with your training and classes and prepare yourself as much as you can for your baby.  He may change his mind later about being  a part of your lives or he may not and there really is nothing you can do about that.  Best wishes.

Answer 7

everyone else pretty much covered it.

Answer 8

they are NOT the reason he is not in your life. you are both young. Your not doing it so leave it alone. It bothers him because he is embarresed and should be by not helping you and being there for you. Move on and forget about him. you sound like you are doing the right thing, is this a person you want as a dad for your baby? remember this....Dont' ever let anyone live in your head "rent free"

:)

Answer 9

i guess if he really love you or at least did, he wont bother about what his friends are saying. i know you feel bad but dont feel it much, your pregnant. does your parents know it? the best thing to do is to go to your long-time friends and look for their comforts and they will support you and fill the absence of your ex. try to tell him, "be a man! you werent responsible that's why im preggy now! i did not do this alone, i was with you!" if he will respond positively maybe its good but if not, try doing it yourself

Answer 10

if he doesnt wanna be in his baby's life because of what his friends say....s***w him, you dont want him in the baby's  life anyways! he is a deadbeat.....okay. so just let him be, you cant force anything.

Answer 11

I f he doesn't want anything to do with you, Why worry about what his friends tell him ?