I have a really obsessive teen crush?

Question

I'm 17 and I've had a boyfriend for a few months. However, I've had a really stupid crush on a much older guy since I first saw him, going back about a year ago now. I later discovered that he was the dad of a girl my age I knew at school. Nothing has ever happened between me and him, and for so many reasons nothing ever will. But he's just on my mind all the time. I have to resist the urge to go out of my way to see him. He used to live near me but then he split up with his partner, and I really miss not seeing him as much. My boyfriend's great, much more in personality than the older guy, but I'm just so into the guy it's insane! How can I get a grip on myself? Any advise, thanks =] x & sensible answers only please :)

Answer 1

If he broke it off with his partner when they have a daughter, how would it work out in a relationship with you?

Answer 2

You should casually chat to the girl at school about how parents in general are annoying, and she'll put in a few moans about her dad's bad habits. You can then reflect on those. If you still aren't put off, grab a pen and paper and write a list of bad points about your crush, and also all of your boyfriend's best points.

Imagine what it'd be like to break up just for him, and how much you'd regret it. After all, as you've said, there are many reasons nothing will happen between you and the older man, so try and keep busy to keep him off your mind.

Answer 3

Just try to think of bad things about him. It's not hsrd and imagine what life would be lke if you two were ever together. Too many risks or whatever.

Or you can just keep on. You found out that yu like older men, ok its ok.  

Answer 4

remind yourself all of the good things about your boyfriend. then remind yourself of all the negatives of him. since it's just a huge crush, and you didn't do anything out of the ordinary, it something you can get over.

Answer 5

I think it's definatly in your interests to keep these feelings hidden from the people you know.

It could cause a lot of trouble for the older guy and really hurt your boyfriend.

Answer 6

Understand why you're so obsessed. In the current circumstance i think its just a pleasurable thought/desire. If you want to stop thinking about someone, Then, find something else pleasurable to think of..its just that easy. If you try that and it doesn't work, then, practice Self-control. I can relate to you since I once had a very obsessive crush but I just got out more and replaced my thoughts with other thoughts. sometimes you may get random thoughts, but those are just thoughts. Whether you are going to act based on your obsession is different. you have to make a decision. Will you make a attempt at stopping or are you going to keep making excuses for not stopping the thoughts? that said I know its hard to stop thinking about that person but hopefully it'll all work out

Answer 7

Try and think of real life, for instance if you feel your mind wandering on to him, list the reasons it will never happen with him. Deep down you must know that this is just a crush and in time it will go. Concentrate on your boyfriend, and how great he is. You can choose not to reveal your feeling as it could cause a lot of hurt for no reason. Maybe you would feel comfortable if your boyfriend knew you were prepared to share with him, but personally I'd keep it secret.

Crushes are only healthy, and in time they all go.

Hope I helped x*x

Answer 8

why do you like him? handsom? what has he got that YOUR boyfriend hasn't, obviously he has a daughter... and a few relaionship problems. maybe your subconcious is rebellious and wants you to go with this guy cause so many others would hate you for it. or maybe your guy has done something to upset you? has he? if he has then you got to sort it out. you also got to sort out your problem with this guy with him.

good luck

Answer 9

hmm ...try doing stuff you enjoy and being happy..like going to a fairground and enjoying yourself .. concentrate more on your studies..and the older guy will be forgotten easily....when ever you see him ..tell your self..hes old enough to be my dad .. just keep on saying that..and think of disgusting things that he might have done .. when he was 17...sometimes..if you don't see if a for a while...you forget him...eg:go on holiday..and send more time with your friends .. and hopfully you will forget about him ../..if your really lonely you fall for someone older than you..so go out and find someone ..thats makes you happy and excitie you ...!!

hope that helped you ..

good luck !!

Answer 10

m********e furiously until the feeling goes away