I have a serious problem with my dad

Question

My dad is a very controlling and really loves to just crush you and make you feel like you can't do anything. He and my mom are divorced for this reason and I am stuck seeing him 2 weeks out of the month. I don't have words to describe the way he makes me feel.

I no longer know what to do. I have yelled at him and just tried to hurt him with words the best I could but nothing seems to work he makes me feel so helpless and stupid. He had gone crazy ever since my mom left him. I need some help what should I do

Answer 1

rays idea is very good and if it doesnt work just remember their only words words cant hurt you at least hes not beating you

Answer 2

The reason he acts this way is because not only that your mom left it also has to do with his upbringing and how he was depicted in his earlier years. With the divorce between him and your mother has nothing to do with you and you should never feel upset or angered about any situation your father tries to put you in. If your dad loves to put you down and loves to see you unhappy is because he is an unhappy camper himself. The best thing to do in this situation is to maybe seek some sort of family counseling so things would not get too out of control.

Answer 3

i'm sorry =(

maybe you should try talking to someone, a professional. or you could write a note telling him how you feel.. good luck, hope you're okay

Answer 4

I am so sorry. I would just tell him that you don't like it when he makes you feel insignificant or stupid and tell him the things he does that makes you feel that way, if it doesn't help then i would talk to your mom about it.

Answer 5

I certainly understand. Do your best to get through it. When you get old enough you won't have to put up with it. Tell someone if it bothers you too much. Talk to your mom.

Answer 6

ignore him and make it look like that his words don't hurt you so that way he might stop.

Answer 7

i know what it's like to have an muppet for a father. my dad calls me fat and takes the biscuit out of the fact that I'm struggling with some stuff and basically what i used to to is start calling him by his name rather than dad. and also a good thing to so is agree with him when he calls you names and stuff, they HATE it! just go yep and he will get bored.

Answer 8

yahoo search the word emancipation an get away from him.  that is child abuse.

Answer 9

Mikey, I'm sorry that your dad behaves this way towards you.  This is not right.  He's a grown man and your father and should be loving and supporting of everything you do.  If I was you I would ask your mom to go back to the courts and request sole custody of you, go to court with her and let the judge know that you don't want to be in this abusive atmosphere with your father.  You don't have to put up with that.  Life is too short to have such a negative person in your life.  I know it's your father but don't feel bad about not seeing him.  He is the man at fault and will hopefully come to realize that his actions are costing him his family.  Please don't yell and try to hurt him, that's what he does to you, two wrongs don't make a right.  If anything talk to your father in a calm manner, explain to him calmly that he makes you feel like you cant do anything, if he doesn't want to believe you and continues to treat you badly you need to get out.  Even our parents arent perfect.

Answer 10

Your mother already knows how he is. You can talk to her. She can go to court and he can lose complete custody of you until he can learn to behave. Maybe he will then realize that he honestly does have a problem and it may inspire him to get help

Don't yell at him. Two rights don't make a wrong and regardless of how badly he treats you it will be something you will regret later on in your life. He is your father, regardless and you should still respect him.

It's just not a good situation for you to be in and you really should talk to your mom about taking full custody

Answer 11

Ask your mom if you can see your dad less like maybe only on the weekend. Tell her how your dad makes you feel.  

Answer 12

Your dad is a wimp.  He is covering for his shortcomings.  Next time he starts doing that, just start showing how intelligent you are and don't let his words get you down.  you can always say, "you're my dad whats that make you"? Respectfully that is. Always speak with respect to your elders.  If that dont work, get your mom to help you sit him down and let them both know how you feel. That really should be first. I got carried away, cuz I know what its like to be demeaned.    

Answer 13

sneak a tape recorder, ask your mom to call her lawyer about it.  

Answer 14

Not knowing how old you are but is there any one in your family aunt ,uncle or cousin who you can talk to let them know how he is treating you when you are with him.

Please  see a counselor and let them know what's going on in your life. You really need help before he starts to hurt you and he already is by mentally verbally abusing you.

And you are not stupid your very smart trying to seek help as you are now.

Answer 15

Tell your mom you want to stay with her and tell your dad your tired of  him and you dont feel safe or loved with him

Answer 16

I am kind of in the same boat. My father is a pathetic drunk. He and my mother split up years ago, and the last few years of drunken solitude have made him quite kooky. The only advice I can give you is detach yourself from him emotionally. I know that is not an easy thing to do- I myself was only able to do it because I believe I benefited from the circumstances- that being I witnessed and realized all of his drunken splendor at the right time in my development. Thus it happened for me unconsciously.

You may have to consciously make the decision to "break" your relationship with him. You have to decide what is better for you- allowing him to continue making you unhappy or letting him go. Think about it, and make sure you know this would be better in the long run. If you think there is the shadow of a possibility that you can work with him, then by all means try and work it out. If you know there is no hope like I did, let him go.

Answer 17

tell ur mom and dad what u think

Answer 18

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Answer 19

ask ur mom if u could have an extra week with her or something, amke an excuse up?

Answer 20

You should try to get him to talk to someone with you.

Someone who is neutral so he doesn't feel like he's being discriminated.

If you find it would be hard to go actually talk to him, then write him a letter telling him how you feel. It might sound cheezy, but things come out alot better in letters...and he might actually realize there is a problem, but not know how to handle or even confront his demons...

It's hard to have to act like the adult sometimes, but you will realize over time it is making you a better person, and making you realize how not to be with your own children.

good luck to you and have faith that things will get better

think possitive!

Answer 21

just ignore him as much as you can, maybe he'll get the message

Answer 22

talk to your mom and tell her that you have made a decision that you do not want to see your father and explain why - she will understand.  You didnt state your age but you seem quite mature - he will end up pushing you away and hating him