I have a serious problem with taking things at face value..for instance?

Question

when anyone gives me a compliment, I assume that there is an ulterior motive to it..(to anything positive that is said, or done to me, or for me) How can you be sure that somebody is being truthful, and doesn't have another motive, like using me for something..(attention, support, an emotional crutch)..To be honest, I have never trusted anyone..so, how do I learn to?

Answer 1

If you don't learn to trust other people you will never have the benefit of knowing what a real valuable relationship with anyone including friends or lovers is like. Everything you do in life is a risk there are no guarantees but when you take those risk a lot of times you get back so much more than you expected. You gain learning experiences so you know what type of people to avoid and the kind that will add something special to your life. You don't want to waste your life being afraid of letting yourself be a little vulnerable. You can control how much of yourself you are willing to give out but remember that's about how much you'll end up getting back.

Answer 2

it's not something you learn.  it's something you earn.  

Answer 3

You cannot be totally sure someone is being truthful because you cannot see a person's heart or read their mind. However, you can learn to accept someones kind actions or words for what they are. Trying to figure out if someone has an ulterior motive is self-defeating. Besides, stuff like that usually comes out all on its own, without you having to uncover it. Accepting someones kind words or actions requires a conscience decision to be vulnerable and to accept the kindness. You can learn to trust by being trustworthy yourself. Being trustworthy shows you what it looks like to be trustworthy so you can spot it in others. After some time and experiences, you will be able to identify people with whom you can be vulnerable with and accept their kindnesses because you have chosen only trustworthy people, like yourself, to hang around. These things take time and come with age.

Answer 4

Over time, people build these defenses, because someone they trusted deeply, hurt them, out of the blue.

Your ok for feeling the way you do, but remember, that there is no motive for a compliment, as long as you are known for giving money away for compliments!

Learn to trust by trusting!

Let your friend hold 50$ for a week!

Tell your gf to go out with her friends and get drunk!

DO things to show yourself, that not everyone is the same.

The only thing you should not trust about is your life, but you don't have to be sure of someone, to extend them some trust, they will earn your re assurance over time.

Answer 5

i have this problem too, i hardly trust anyone anymore ,just be careful when interacting with people, be urself but be cautious.