I have a seven year old shadow and I love it.?

Question

My boy follows me every where. He wants to do everything I do. I love it, but sometimes, I want some space. I want him to do his own things. He gets mad at me when I don't let him do things I know he can't do. Like cut the grass, I don't want him pushing the lawn mower yet or doing the weed eating. He does pick up trash well though. I slept on the couch last night and he tried to get me to go to bed. I told him I was sleeping on the couch and he built a palet on the floor next to me. I know before to long, he will not want to be around me but with his friends. So I soak all his love in. I do send him to his grandmother's when I feel I need a break. I guess what I am asking is what are some ways to get him interested in doing things on his own? He has all kinds of toys, his own room, his own tv, but he would rather be next to me. My kids live with me and only see their mother when she desides to come around.

Answer 1

He wants to see you proud of him...maybe if you put him into sports....you will be showing him that you are proud of him, and spending time with him too........and also you are all he has...try a club with kids his own age.....You said mom only comes around when she wants...he sees and understands that, and doesn't want you to become that person, that's why he's always clinging to you.   Keeping you close to him is his way of making sure you aren't going anywhere, like mom....does this make sense??~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~...

After you edited your question...I thought of my own 6 year old son...I too have wondered why he doesn't "use his imationation"  I have 4 boys...13, he's a little farmer, loves to work, loves animals, my 4 year old could sit in a room and play with his toys for hours, my 3 year old, well he is MY little shadow, but given toys, he could probably entertain himself as well......my 6 year old, is another little shadow, very well liked by all he meets, makes friends real fast, but always wants to be where we're at...Maybe that's just your sons personality, perhaps watching you is what he does...he wants to be just like you....so I guess you may just have to continue doing what you doing, and get your alone time, when he's not around!!!  Your a proud dad!!!

Answer 2

I'm no expert but it sounds like he may have some trust issues.  Perhaps he feels insecure- that something might happen to you- that you'll go away.  Did you have a rough divorce?  Whats up with mom?  It may be her fault he's like that.  I'd try to make your life as routine and as predictable as possible for awhile.  If he wants you to come to bed- go fast.  The feeling of rejection to a 7 year old stings for life- I know because I remember.  This is a crucial time and mishandled, you could have a very rebellious teenager in your future.  I'd reccomend teaching him meditation.  Its not easy at first but a great way to get some down time.  And a relationship with the higher power of choice would be good too- "God" (or whatever you want to call it/him/her) is always there.

Answer 3

that's cute

Answer 4

Wow... how adorable. He really looks up to you. It's a shame that all kids can't have a Dad like he does. What a lucky kid.

Anyway, why not share your biggest dreams with him? As an example, tell him that you've always dreamed of inventing a softer basketball that bounces even higher, but you can't figure out how to do it. Ask him if he can help you figure out how to do it. This will not only get his mind moving, but he will be working hard to make you proud! (sorry I couldn't think of a better example, but I hope you get the idea)

Answer 5

buy him a ps3 or macbook. (if he doesnt want them, can I have them?)

Answer 6

you should get him another companion like a cat or dog or maybe rabbit chinchilla guinea pig ... well just get him a pet he can play with =)

Answer 7

aww...that's great...maybe consider getting a trampoline...they are really fun and a lot healthier to play on than it is to play video games or something like that...and tell him that if he wants to be with you when you mow the lawn that he has to be on the trampoline...that worked for me when i was little...you can get an 8" one for about 150 bucks, but at his young age i'd go a little more expensive and get him a 14" with the guard nets...safety and all that stuff...or plant a small garden...he can tend to the garden whilst you are free to mow the lawn...and if you really need a little space and he just won't give you any try starting him out on an activity, crafts or anything really and then tell him that he has to finish it on his own...that should get you a little bit of time to yourself...

you sound like a great father and your kids are very lucky to have you...

Answer 8

just live with it. u never know who will or will not be there tomorrow. anything can happen, and as long as he is with u, u can protect protect him. at least hes not trying to burn down the house

Answer 9

i am 14 and i have never had a close relation with my dad. i dont know what it feels like to have a real dad. so i say you should let him be with you all the time. let him be like you and stuff

Answer 10

Gotcha ....well,try getting him together w/friends or asking him what he likes to do.Do something together just the 2 of you .Maybe like hanging out with your friends and him while watching a sport. Or going see a movie.Ask him why he likes hangin' w/  dad so  much.I think he maybe afraid that you'll leave him too.

Answer 11

He needs his own things to do, "chores". When you are doing something around the house and there's things he can do, rather than have him follow and do what you do, ask him to do things to help. Send him to retrieve things. Thank him for doing a good job. Do things like make a pitcher of Kool-aid, you let him pour in the water, tell him when to stop, you can measure the sugar and add the flavor, then have him mix it. Explain clearly there are some things he can't do yet. He's just trying to be like his dad. When he learns he can do his things but there are some reserved for dad, he'll give you some more space. When he builds something or draws a picture, tell him you couldn't do that well. Now he'll have something he does better than dad. Become friends with him, he will always  keep you in the loop, even when he's older and doing things with friends. I love the shadow thing too, it's great fun. But sometimes I could use some space too.

Answer 12

My sister was like that with my dad.

He never really encouraged her to do her own thing and she eventually grew out of his shadow. Now, he wishes she was there again. lol. So, I say just continue to do what you are doing and when it's time for him to start doing his own thing, he will. Right now, he just wants to be like his dad. After all, you're really the only parent he's got if his mother doesn't come around.

Answer 13

He could possibly have abandonment issues because of his mother. You may have to enlist  a therapist to help him get past this, and you should attend the sessions with him.

Answer 14

OOH, how sweet.   Dad, are there boys around where you live?   If so, invite some of them over or introduce him to some friends so he'll have someone else to play with.   Better yet, put him in an activity such as soccer, karate, basket ball, baseball, or join a gym so, when you work out, he can be in the child watch.   Sometimes, they have specials such as shop and drop, or Friday night story time.  Check your local gym,  plenty of parent perks.   Good luck.

Answer 15

Video games lol. If possible, try to find a co-worker or a friend that has a son around the same age and that hopefully plays video games. If he starts on those he will most likely not want to stop, especially if he has another kid to teach him and to play with. Good luck

Answer 16

YOUR SICK,,,, YOUR CHILD LOVES YOU AND YOU WANT TO GET RID OF HIM

idchow much he gets in your space,,, your a BAD father

he deserves someone more loving

Answer 17

awwwwww that is really cute...

I say relax and enjoy it while you can, these years will be gone in the blink of an eye.

You are setting a good example of a caring man for your little guy.  And when you're older and look back you'll laugh until you cry at the memories and you won't have to regret the times you pushed him away, because you didn't.

Maybe you could share more chores with him.  Buy him a little broom and he can help you sweep the garage; he can hold the nails if you're building something; he can set the table for dinner.

Answer 18

i would suggest using the "big kid" thing. i may only be a teen but it works for me on my two cousins and it might help you out a little bit. Try saying that you'll reward him something once or twice a week if he can show you that he can do things on his own. Not candy or anything like that, but maybeh read him a book or share some knowledge of something that he's interested in.

Answer 19

It's all about attention and a form of anxiety perhaps. Because of the divorce. I think he just wants you approval, so make him do stuff for himself and tell him how proud you are of him after having done so. He's imitating you because you are like his personal superhero, as every father is for a child. So set a good example, but don't try to be his friend to much.

Kids like boundaries and rules. Especially if it comes with affection and compliments afterwards.

good luck and enjoy your mini-me LOL greetz from Holland

Answer 20

aww thats cute

maybe you could send him to a after school activity.

Answer 21

you might have to ween him off of you like a baby on a bottle. Start teaching him how to play baseball, soccer, or peewee football. Than sign him up for team sports. It gives you at least 2-3hrs a night of man time. Thats what my parents did w/ me. I wish all fathers were like you.

You know you can buy a manual lawn mower, w/ just the rotating blades and have him cut the yard at 12-1pm when its hottest and see how much he likes it. He'll eventually stuff! You could also have him do some minor yard work while your doing the big stop. Spreading mulch, pulling weeds, and etc. I still cannot stress how good of a father you are!

*edit*

well there are few more weeks of summer left you can always ship him off to a camp for a couple of weeks.

Answer 22

He is following you because he needs some loving. You need to pick him up, sit him on your lap, and hold him tight and sweet. He is still very small, and wants to feel loved, hugs, and kisses. That time when he came to your couch, you should of have taken him to his bed, tuck him in, read him a good-night story, and give him a good-night kiss. Of course he will following you everywhere if you don't hug him enough. He was even trying to cut the grass, thinking maybe then you will show him some love and hug him. Bed time good-night stories are the must.