I have a soon to be 3 yr old who can not have anything by mouth, any ideas.. reposting from a few weeks ago

Question

She can not have anything by mouth , but i will have kids here that enjoy cake. Now that she is gettin older and aware of food, its very very hard.Please if you have any ideas, let me know.I'm stressing hard about this.Last year i took her to our room and held her and cried while the kids were eating the cake:( Thanks to whoever read this and posted help:) Have a blessed day :)

1 week ago

Additional Details

1 week ago

UPDATE on this.. she can not have ANYTHING by mouth.. she asprates on her own secreation.She does not walk either. This is very stressful.But i have 10 neices and nephews that come so i have to do something. TYVM to all that have responded.At dinner time i now have to sit with her or give a feeding to her at the same time we are eating.. she gets very overstimulated.Plz keep comin with ur answers

Answer 1

First, make everyone in the family aware of how easily she is overstimulated so that singing happy birthday is done softly.

Start a new tradition for her.Buy a round mirror that sits on the table and place a votive candle on it to be blown out for the make a wish part. You can decorate the mirror so it is special with appliqués, stickers or paint.

If having cake is that important, you can make cupcakes, instead, that can be wrapped and taken home with the guests.

She is just too young (developmentally) to understand why everyone else gets to put stuff in their mouths and she doesn't. As her mom, I'm sure it hurts your heart as situations come up that she is unable to participate in. Please do your best to look beyond what she cannot do and celebrate what she can do! Blinks and tears and smiles and knowing that your presence calms her and helps her feel good and safe and loved is a miracle in itself.

Soft music and a favorite comfort toy or blanket in your bedroom for some quiet time if things get too hectic for her and a little alone time for you both to celebrate her start of a new year in her life isn't a bad thing, either. God Bless you both and happy birthday to your little one.  

Answer 2

im sorry to say no cake you dont want her to be sad on her birthday but what you can do is send a piece of cake home with them so they still get cake..... i am so sorry

Answer 3

I agree, there's no reason you HAVE to serve cake.  I know that's "normal" party fare, but you're having a special birthday for a special gal.  Instead of cake, give out party sparklies and make hers the best one, like a shiny tiara or crown.  To placate the other party goers, you can always send them home with a favor bag with candies or a cupcake or something.  But yeah, I'd suggest taking out the cake portion and replacing it with some kind of shared experience with a toy, dress up or some face-painting.

Happy birthday to your gal!

Answer 4

what about a teething toy or something like that for her to mouth during the time that others are actively eating? I have also seen flavor sprays to put on them too.Check out www.superduper.com and www.integrations.com in the oral-motor area for ideas.

Having a child with special needs can be hard. My oldest has PDD-NOS and my youngest has a speech delay. I actually ended up on medication for depression from dealing with thier needs daily. It used to tear me up inside having to tell people every day that he "doesn't talk much", and can't say "hi" or tell them his name. Finally he is talking more, but I still find myself having to explain his use of ASL since he can obviously hear them and speak some.

Answer 5

well first its sad that people don't quite read all the way and see that your daughter CAN NOT have anything by mouth. i understand how hard it is to have a child that is different from the other kids, and it gets even harder when they realize they are different. I agree with the first poster. you should let your little girl have fun with all the other kids, and don't even bring the cake out. Its your daughters birthday, and there is no rule that the other children must have cake. even if the other kids don't understand, i'm sure the parents do. don't make yourself or your little girl upset just to make the other kids happy.  

Answer 6

Have u called your doctor?... take her in and try more and more each day and show her how it is ok to eat by mouth and eat with her and have fun with it show her that it is fun to eat by mouth too GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

Um you need to take her to the doctor asap.

Answer 8

It's amazing how badly people read! That being said-there is no rule that you have to serve cake or anything else. If she's never had cake then she's probably upset about being excluded and that is only going to get worse as she becomes more aware. Give her something special to do while she's getting her tube feeding and while the others eat. Just out of curiosity, is anyone working with her so that she can eat at some time in the future? Some Speech Therapists specialize in feeding diffculties and have tricks to help kids learn to swallow etc.  

Answer 9

Take her to be seen by a doctor or a therapist.